How BPD Changes as You Age | JOHN GUNDERSON

John Gunderson, a major force in the BPD world and the person who originally defined the diagnosis, discusses Borderline Personality Disorder from the viewpoint of a researcher and clinician.

[bratzdoll]

I'm really bummed out to hear that this feeling is going to be
I'm only 21 and I feel like I've lived a 100 years already cause of how intense I feel. Dunno how to feel about this....

[rypoelk]

4-5 years of DBT has done wonders. If I didn't go into DBT in my 20's, I'd probably be dead

[keleye]

My BPD has seemed to get worse as I've aged.. I'm 36 now, taken stepps class, DBT twice, educated myself. It's only slowly progressing for me personally. I feel so empty and lost. Only thing I know for sure is this has taken so much from me. I wouldn't wish BPD on my worst enemy

[Betternow]

He just describes me. Im 44 im also a recovering addict and alot of those reckless behaviors i dont do anymore. AA really does help BPD but i still feel alone and empty most of the time its so hard. Its hard.

[michellejudd]

This is true I am 48 emptiness Loneliness haunts me . BPD all my life

[ErikAdalbertvanNagel]

I swear it just get worse. I watched several videos talking about BPD will get milder as you age... not for me.

[KestrelBlais]

I got lucky, survived when I should be dead, thanks to my wife. Stable long term relationship with a hard headed woman sure helps. Be open to seeing yourself with compassion, then work like hell on the bullshit in your mind. Every day. Make it a routine.

[Fortheluvofgem]

It just gets less noticeable on the outside but on the inside it’s still loud

[royalpitamamma]

I no longer feel empty. I had a very large family and have a lot of children. However, they are grown and the empty house or nearly empty house does get lonely. I am happy now. I have so much in my life to be grateful for and I had someone be a partner for me that while not perfect, was like a stone when it came to being in my life. It was rough for a bit. It's still rough because our personalities clash a bit, but I know I am lovable and that I am loved.

[overimagination]

i dunno.. I feel the loneliness and despair... but I also am so childlike that when things are OK I become very giddy, happy and manic. Its an insane rollercoaster but its a ride nonetheless...there are fun parts. I don't need a wife, I've seen too many divorces. I'd love kids but I'd fear losing them day one. Maybe hitting 50 I'm just thankful to be alive and not in jail lol... so many craziness.

[mcparks]

I'm 52, and fairly recently diagnosed, and have, in the past 10 years, due to new trauma, unfortunately had my outbursts and behaviors grow ever worse.

It's exhausting. I truly believe sometimes that it will never improve, and I'm cursed to this pain forever.

[everywhereattheendofemilyp]

Mine seems to be getting worse rapidly, a few years ago i had abandonment issued and was mostly quite passive. The last year or so i am so much more volatile and aggressive with my family and friends when i still had friends. At this point I'm having nightmares every night, missing many of my appointments, absolutely terrified of getting close to anyone again, and drinking all the time.

[baphomet]

I know what I'll write makes no sense to normal people. I'm almost 50 now, and I spent my whole life as a Borderline (or, at least, something very similar). Yes, now I'm more controlled, I live far from life, alone. My childhood was not ideal, but the worst part was adolescence, and adult life: I've been watching peers getting married, being promoted, having children. I failed in everything. And when I tried to be myself, all I received was hatred. So I learnt to fake normality and avoid people. No one on this planet knows me. There's no way to be understood. No way. Got no money to pay a therapist and the public service is simply not annoption. I've seen tons of video about BPD in adolencents and children, but we exist too. We, in our 40's and on. We wasted our chance on this planet, we never had the mental tools to grab happiness. We lived in shame. If today I found there's a way to better, this would mean I could have had a different life had someone helped me earlier: this would unleash so much sadness and anger... It's too late. It was good to have me silent and pleasing until now, I left so much room for better people, and now I should fight to feel better and recovery? To enjoy what, exactly? Being alone, old, poor and the family's black sheep? Oh, wow! Well, no, maybe I'll keep myself in this "schizoid" state, at least I won't do ridicolous attempts to be normal. No one, no one ever noticed my condition, but they were so good at criticizing, oh yes, they're good at this sport. I won't go on stage anymore, they will be forced to go and watch someone elses's failure. Mine, is complete, with no sequel.

[shirleylangton]

Tell me about it. I have long ago given up trying to be "normal, " and have accepted myself as I am. Horaah for
old age.

[stephb]

Diagnosed at 57, I feel as if I've gotten much worse as I've aged. I just started dbt a few months ago. I hope this can help me, because I've been miserable in my life and relationships for the last 10 years. At a point now where I trust almost no one. It's a lonely ride.

[oklol]

I feel like he understands me so well...

[shonahtb]

I wonder if untreated BPD just turns into Quiet BPD as a person ages

[charleshawk]

I’m 38 and feel everything he just described.

[Mo.Jo.MTB_]

In my experience (m35) he is right but the emptiness, the loneliness and what I call social pain (normal behavior off people which hurts me makes me feel like my world is falling apart) have become way easier to life with... And I think the DBT really helped there...

[andy]

At age 25 I don’t bother trying to help myself anymore and this video just confirms why. I see no point in putting in years of therapy to never be normal. I’ll just let it consume me until it kills me.