Change your Life in 3 Steps | Re-Write your Story through Narrative Identity - Shadé Zahrai

What differentiates those who bounce back from hardship versus those who get stuck in a pit of despair? It often comes down to the story that they tell themselves about the situation.

We construct our reality based on the stories we tell ourselves and others about our lives – it’s called ‘Narrative Identity’ (McAdams, 2018).

People who believe their lives are meaningful tend to tell stories defined by growth, communion & hope - these are called ‘redemptive stories’. But those who aren’t able to move on and have ‘become’ their experiences tend to tell what’s called ‘contamination stories’, focussed on how difficult and tragic their lives are.

Even making small story edits to our personal narratives has been found to have a huge impact on our lives.

NOTE: This is not about trying to Ctrl + Z parts of your life. We’re not denying what’s happened to us, or trying to change the past – although sometimes that does seem far easier…

What we ARE doing is changing the meaning we apply to events to change the story we tell. We’re redefining challenges as growth opportunities and finding hope in the despair.

Because when you re-write your story, you upgrade your identity.
When you upgrade your identity, you change your future.

--------

FOLLOW ON SOCIAL:

[srishtikannaujiya]

Good one ma'am 👍🏻
I came across this concept for the first time.

[kasondaleigh]

Whenever I feel like my life is punishing me, I just try to think of myself in comparison to other victims and I see how lucky I really am. I haven’t watched my children starve to death, I don’t have to walk a mile for clean water and I haven’t been forced into a refugee camp. Things could always be MUCH worse and somehow reminding myself that other people have much more challenging issues everyday helps me remain grateful.

[raquelrpj]

Thank you Shade. This is of high value to me on a professional identity crisis.
I'm going on holiday and I'll enjoy doing these exercises ❤

[tovidominic]

My take: The story we tell/narrate about ourselves of the past define our perspective on life itself. Choose to remember and narrate positive incidents of yourself and others connected with you . Thank you lady

[ceafva]

This is exactly what I needed to hear today. It was a godsend to a question. I’ve been asking for the past few days. Perfect. I will move forward and continually placed this into practice. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[beckye]

I needed this today! Exactly what my husband and I were discussing. I complain, compare, negative, beat myself up, play victim, no purpose. I want to stop. I want to just be happy!

[khalidben]

It is been an absolute pleasure having people like you with all this value.Thank you for the immense effort you put into this work.
You are absolutely killing it and in top of that you give what really we want as individuals to understand and reshape our thinking.

[Men_After_Gods_Heart]

Every person darkside ot trauma is the most strong n creative n untapped resource part of his emotions, if channeled in the right positive course...its very effective

[lailayousuf]

Super Useful Guidelines for the office.. real behavioral science ... Thank you from South Africa 🇿🇦 ❤

[ak-kxjl]

Your videos are becoming so addictive. I listen to them everyday before going to bed and every morning once I wake up. This is more than something motivational. Your contents are awesome. You are a guiding stars for women like us out there. Thank you so much Shade 💓

[ashitshow]

This is exactly what i was needed this time ... I was feeling so low .. thinking I'm the most toxic person and i hurt everyone and want to relive everything to make things right ... but that's not how things work ... i can't relive but surely can rewrite my story in my head.... and use that for my growth ... I've learned alot and should feel take that as a win ... can't relate more to this ... Thank you for making my mind simpler an thoughtful

[masiursenglish]

I am happy 100% with my life, though I don't have enough success to tell about, still I feel I didn’t do anything wrong to anybody in this world and could love everybody and could stublish myself at the same time as a singer and a teacher thus a youtuber.

[friarpesel]

A potentially painful concept, beautifully and gently delivered. Thank you 🙏

[kristinj]

Thank you! This is exactly what I needed to hear. What was holding me back from believing I was worth more...everything. Re-write, re-frame and the future is renewed!

[DrPatrickKingsep]

Narrative Identity is a powerful resource for making life changes. We can all reflect on our self-talk and make changes if needed. Negative self talk can become a habit and we firstly need awareness to change it...

[adeebnasir]

Thank you Shade! Your assistance to the mental health of this world is truly the work of a light being!

[alexfinn]

I am so messed up and screwed up my life. I can’t let go and move on. It just leads to more pain and suffering.

[AvecBella]

Going through a transition right now. This comes at a right time…♥️❤️♥️

[popoduck]

I am grateful for these nine minutes that I spend on this video. Ty Shade

[juliahna]

Thank you so much for this video. I feel like this is God’s touch for me to rewrite my story for the better. Thank you so much!!! ❤❤❤