Can a Fearful Avoidant Commit?

Have you ever felt the pain of someone “leading you on”, only to leave shortly after?

Fearful avoidants (FAs) are prone to people pleasing. So if their date wants to move fast, they can follow along to make that person happy – only to discover they weren’t ready.

This can cause their date to get hurt and believe the FA was intentionally leading them on for short-term comfort.

Watch the video to understand what was going on in the head of the FA!

And if you are an FA, this is something to watch out for. Ask for space to pause and reflect before moving forward with the relationship.

Leave us a "💛" if you learned something new from this post!

#insecureattachmentstyles #fearfulavoidant #fearfulavoidantattachmentstyle #personaldevelopmentschool #integratedattachmenttheory

[AliValentine]

I'm healing-FA but hadn't practiced dating until recently and I sure matched his pace. I've stalled out now, rethinking, hot and cold, unsure. I hate that my old pain hurts new people. I'm going to keep working on it, vigilantly.

[nessyv.]

Idk how I feel or what I want so I go with the flow until I get scared and cut off and then regret.

[Lady.Luck.]

I like this analogy. It can be a misconception that people are manipulatively going along with something.. its more about going with the flow and not being cognizant of their own desires

[aspiringrootwoman]

Whew, i just resisted diving into a rebound. It was actually the person wanting to move so quickly, expressing big feelings that could not possibly be about me because he didnt know me well at all. It reminded me of my own tendencies and freaked me out completely. I tried to set boundaries, warn that i didnt want to use him as a rebound, and finally i ran.

[DanGoodman-nb]

Wish I had known this at college age instead of near EOL.

I raised a family as an FA with a DA. Some spectacular times a few terrible times but better byfar than our previous track record.

You have a brilliant mind.

[christiel]

This is accurate. Us FAs really be going with the flow a little too much when we want the other person’s validation. If they want to jump into a relationship, we’ll want to jump into a relationship, despite having reservations. If they wanna act like it’s just about sex, we’ll act like it’s just about sex, even if we have genuine feelings for them. I’m glad I at least know this now. As a result, I no longer even wanna give anyone the time of day 🤣

[TakuyaHikichi]

So the first person I dated after my divorce was exactly this. She even told me that she was my "rebound". I didn't know what she meant at the time. But I'm grateful because the relationship with her made me realize my own attachment style.

[carolinechitra_]

Wow, I never really realised until now that I am actually like that.. Thank you!

[DG]

I was dealing with one recently and she literally just said "We can go with the flow"😂 Then she got to close and stopped. Oh well her loss

[Elle]

So how do you know what they feel? Like if they go with the flow and dont want anything with you, how do you know between that and being scared?

[triplethreat]

My FA wants a relationship but runs from it . He is almost selfish, out of self protection . He doesn’t people please with me his partner but he chameleons with friends and the wrong people . Ironically he tries to prevent bad relationships, Sabotages the good ones but chameleons or keeps the bad ones go figure . Ugg

[anonymousbee]

Im struggling with thought of marriage with my loving boyfriend. Please help me. 😭

[goldy]

Please dont speak so fast, difficult to understand anything then...