My Husband Doesn’t Show Up for Me

On today’s episode, we hear about:
• A wife whose husband won’t attend social gatherings
• A man dating the mother of his daughter’s best friend
• A woman who’s unsure of how to support her friend

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[deniselevesque]

My husband is very social. I am not. He let's me decide when and where I go, but when I do go I step up and fully engage. Need to chill alone after. Works for us.

[vickimerritt]

My ex did not understand how exhausing it was to kid wrangle around strangers while he became the life of the party with his " real family" his co workers.

[Evil-Rod-Farva]

Caller #1: I can relate to the guy. I’d much rather spend the day taking care of stuff around the home, gardening, drinking bourbon, fishing, or having a cigar than pretending to care about people at social events. I have to spend all week doing that and having vanilla conversations in a corporate setting.

I find most people to be a bore at best, or annoying at worst. It’s rare that I’m finding someone interesting in a public outing.

Learn to say no to your friends, or accept that he needs some time to get himself sorted out and go solo. Your husband is far more important than your friends.

[JustJokes-bwfs]

It seems when socialising she abandons the parenting to her husband. No wonder he doesn't want to go.

[signalfire]

Leave that man alone! As a female introvert, I relate. I don’t want to go. And if you force me to go, be prepared for my bad mood. I don’t expect YOU to go with me to things I want to go to, so put on your big girl panties and go to the event alone if you want to go. His wife is more concerned with appearances than his feelings. She said she’s embarrassed. I’d be embarrassed to have a spouse that is so insecure that they can’t enjoy an event alone.

[stephenr]

'What are your needs here?'

'To be in control 100% of the time.'

[birsancristina]

She cares so much about how people see their relationship instead of her husband's feelings. Dude just wants his time alone. Leave him alone, Jeez!

[nnbmkei]

First caller….. either stop accepting so many invitations or stop expecting your husband to attend. Ridiculous. He’s carrying the bulk of the load, leave him alone

[Toomies]

First caller: he's TOTALLY feeling used and unappreciated, and he so desperately wants a break. She only seems to care about how it would look to her friends if he wasn't there. It does sound like they could use some quality time together without their child, and not at a boring wedding shower.

[juliemuchow]

The husband is an introvert. Meaning he also needs time that is always scheduled weekly, by himself, no kids. Extroverts its not lazy without decompressing, and scheduled alone time, no kids, it's how introverts decompress. Social situations can be taxing, you have to balance it out. Not overtake the introvert while being all Extrovert.

[Relizabeth]

Dude’s working full time and taking care of their kid. If the roles were reversed, the guy would be getting completely dragged. I don’t think he should pout at events, just don’t go. Hoping she is willing to give on some of her wishes, and that he is willing to put his foot down sometimes and say, “I love you, but I’m skipping the wedding shower because I need some downtime.”

[susanharrison]

I would never make my husband go to a shower. It used to be a woman thing. I'd have no issue with the men doing something regarding the event. My husband tends to pout and whine too. I'd rather go by myself and ask for the most important things. Sometimes it's the difference between introverts and extroverts. Family should be important, but some things can be done without him. There are the female's friend, the male's friends, and mutual friends. You need all three. Be separate sometimes; be together others. Don't be embarrassed if he doesn't show; just enjoy it.

[crazeekids]

When you treat your husband like a child, he will behave accordingly.

[caitlinhanson]

First call - big clue is the 2 plates at a wedding and the one where she is in the wedding party. Either child wasnt invited or they didnt properly communicate they were bringing the child so now wonder it didnt go well. If they want this to work they need to build a deeper bench of sitters besides 1 person because that as an excuse will get old quickly lol

[figdevs]

I always told my ex girlfriend that between the government and corporations wanting us to spend money, we could celebrate every night of the week if we really wanted to. There is a holiday for every single day. National cookie day, national dog day, Birthdays, weddings, etc... So we have to start picking and choosing which events are more important than others because we have to mow the lawn now. We have other obligations to do. We can't afford to celebrate every weekend. We have to start putting ourselves first so that we can create the life we want to for our children that we want to have.

AND she is my ex now so that's how that went LOL

[joyceyeh]

This sounds more like an introvert vs extrovert problem 😆

[kidzanimalskidz]

The math isn’t mathing! She has one day on and two days off. Yet he handles so much of the childcare. He rarely has time off, yet she has SO MUCH time off!

[HazeDe]

I don’t understand the need to “make” your partner to attend events. No, you absolutely don’t need to show up everywhere as a couple. I do my own thing so does my partner. Honestly, what’s the point of dragging someone to an event they don’t want to.

[robbie]

No man ever, EVER wants to go to a shower. “Oh honey, aren’t those tea towels just the cutest “ said no man never. Can you imagine a wife saying this 100 years ago.

[latashaepps]

Obviously the wife doesn't understand how hard it is to work and take care of a kid at home. It's hard to do. Dad needs a break, daycare is expensive but kid is 4 so they may need to try pre-k. No one understands how hard it is until you do it yourself.