Your Autistic Spouse Has NO EMPATHY?!

Downloadable programs:

Coaching services for autistic male partners:

Coaching services for neurotypical female partners:

Coaching services for the ASD + NT couple:

Individual coaching services:

Access to “Members-Only” videos:

Parenting resources:

[markhutten]

ASD+NT Couples resources:

Parenting resources:

[markhutten]

Alexithymia:
• “looks like” a lack of empathy
• may be a result of brain damage to the insula
• has been noted in people who have experienced trauma, especially during early childhood
• may be genetic
NOTE: approx. 50% of people with depressive disorders also have alexithymia

[pattyhaney]

Here is the part I struggled with. At first the masking was so good. I should have known - in retrospect - that nothing could be that good. And I don’t fault my ASD guy for doing it. He was just trying to survive. However, the masking is gone, the man is different, and he knew he was masking all along. But now that I crave that other man, it is suggested that I may be lacking in empathy and understanding. Not true. I have empathy, and I think I understand. But I am deeply lonely and sad. I would never chastise him, but the lack of reciprocity is fatal. The ways that he shows me he loves me suit him, and are nice, but nothing along the lines of what an adult woman needs. Not his fault. Not mine. I am glad we are now just friends.

[BoomerTelly]

Makes no difference in how unloved i feel.

[claudiaengel]

He has more empathy than any other people I know. Thank you Mr. Hutton

[GypsySoulSister]

Empathy is a very painful emotion for them and takes time to process

[silverriver]

He doesn’t seem to feel guilt or embarrassment. He does seem to have shame and spends a great deal of time fighting that off with various defense mechanisms. If someone has the ability to feel guilt and embarrassment but consistently doesn’t display them when they speak or act and in fact display the opposite, how do you know they experience these emotions? And if they hide their shame so effectively and never address the source of shame, is this what you would consider unexpressed empathy? So, what value is the ability to feel guilt and embarrassment if it isn’t expressed? And what value is feeling healthy shame if you avoid it and don’t use it for change in your life?

[Riley.-sJoy]

Some struggle with extreme empathy, some struggle with having a hard time to feel it, it doesn’t go for the whole spectrum equally

[karmoh]

Also autistic individuals sometimes display empathy in a different way than neurotypical people. So often it’s really an issue of neurotypicals not recognizing the ways we displays empathy.

[docholiday]

Good thing they have empathy. because America is VERY short on it