CPTSD: What If Writing Techniques Make You FEEL WORSE?

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Thousands of you have now tried my Daily Practice for healing brain/emotional dysregulation and other symptoms of Childhood PTSD (or Complex CPTSD). Occasionally people tell me that the technique, which involves writing your fears and resentments, worsens their negative emotions. If this is something you've noticed, this video explains why that might be happening, and what to do so you can keep experiencing the benefits of writing -- more calm and clarity, more joy and better focus.
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[staceywhite]

I also have seen a marked reduction in my binge eating as a result of the writing. When the urge comes i start writing like a maniac. It’s amazing how much fear comes out and so far the binge never starts afterward. It’s pretty cool.

[gardener]

I keep a "vomit" journal. In that journal I write all those horrible things beating around in my brain. Then I tear out the pages and burn them. Very cathartic for me.

[avacaza]

ATTENTION
All mental health warriors out there! We are stronger in numbers and need to get as much support as possible. This channel and many others are here to help us. I know it's hard. Trust me, I can only watch these when I am feeling stable. Stay strong and stay educated ❤️

[borealiswan]

I try to add something positive at the end of the writing practice. Even if everything I wrote down is super depressing, I ask myself before putting the pen away: what's 1 thing I'm grateful for today or 1 thing that's the highlight of my day ? Funny thing is there's usually more than 1 that pop up. This way I end on a positive note.

[natashmartinez]

My son was just diagnosed with PTSD so watching this was great. My son does not want to talk about anything and so I suggested to him about doing this. So I thought maybe we can do it together. It actually works. We wrote it down and talked about it. Thank you for this great idea.

[Leftatalbuquerque]

No matter what we do, it doesn't change the fact that this shit DID happen and there is nothing we can do to go back in time and change it. We will probably never be able to reconcile it all, but the fact is that life keeps happening and is happening NOW - we have to be able to be part of it, and enjoy the thrills and music and dancing that still exists. It's all we have. Life is short. Enjoy whatever of it you have left.

[JCM-LedZeppelin-Stories]

Writing is like sneezing and getting out the neuroMucus. sounds easy but it's not. Thank you for existing Anna

[staceywhite]

Yeah I definitely don’t try to get into past stuff. I usually have enough chaos in my head at the time that I can vomit up onto the page. I do complete each writing with a prayer for God to take the pain away cause it’s all too much to bear honestly.

[sarastepp]

I've been practicing an approach to writing down my fears and resentments in the form of notes to my "little wounded self" from my "bigger, healthier, safer self." There is a sense of nurturing and validation that underlies this process for me when I approach it as a conversation between my most loving, kind, caring, wise self (some people call it the Buddha Nature within us), and the anxious, hurt, sad, scared, helpless child frozen in time.

I don't want the child to live in pain or fear, and in order to bring the child out of the patterns of wounded history, she must be heard and seen and nurtured and guided through the rough spots. I guess I'm trying a few different skills all at once, but it helps keep the writing exercises focused on boldly acknowledging and accepting reality, validating the authentic subjective experience, and compassionately "self-parenting" (soothing, reregulating, reframing, encouraging healthy boundaries, rebuilding trust, reality testing, developing healthier behaviors around risk taking, etc).

It's like I can be my own coach and teacher and lifeguard to help keep me safe even when it feels too big and too scary.

[PetCoachApril]

Love your content! I’m so glad I found your channel… I’ve been in therapy for years - but nothing ever really targeted my childhood ptsd the way your videos do! My heart hurts for what you went through in life to HAVE to learn all these techniques but I am glad you found a way to turn your suffering into higher purpose to help so many! ❤️

[caiusKeys]

Writing provokes the worst self-criticism -- it's almost debilitating.

[ClaireScarrott]

I spent years journaling and was always afraid to read back what I had written. I was attempting to explain me to me but it was back firing in being too intense. My process was trapping me not freeing me.

I prefer The Daily Practice. It's like pulling over in a lay by and throwing all the crap out of your car (Don't do this at home kids.) and driving away leaving the stink behind. Thank you Anna.

[emmelinesprig]

I came here from The Daily Practice course on your site. I just did the daily practice for the first time and I feel so much relief. Thank you thank you thank you!

[Onestrangebrain]

I am one of those this practice makes feel worse. It's an illusion that getting negative self-talk onto paper gets it out of the head. I can write release statements, rip the paper, burn the paper, flush it down the toilet, but the fears and resentments remain in my head and are only emphasised by the writing exercise. If the technique's success depends on belief in a higher power, than its a non-starter because I don't believe there is such a thing.

[dreamdroid]

I started the daily practice very recently. I'm having trouble feeling like I'm not doing it "correctly."

I often (if not always) feel unsatisfied with what I've written. Like I either delved too deep or not enough. It's hard to tell exactly what is on my mind in the given moment... it never feels like there ever is one or a few particular things. It's always nothing, or everything - naturally flowing through my mind, including all the background and details of it all.

But I do try not to dig into the past in my writing, or spend too long on any one subject. So it more or less becomes a list of statements. I follow each step on how to begin my sentences (ie: "I fear / I resent [subject] because I fear...") and then I sign off with my name, declaring that I release those fears and resentments and approach my day with clarity as best I can. Then I destroy and discard the page.

But my dissatisfaction follows me into the meditation. Throughout the 20 minute session I find myself getting distracted by lingering on details I withheld in my writing; or having "oh! How could I have forgotten about [something] that is REALLY bothering me lately, I should have written that down" moments. I flip back and forth between relaxed and...well, feeling that everything is botched.

I don't know if this is normal or if I'm doing something wrong or if the daily practice is simply just another treatment method that isn't going to work for me... Would really love some insight.

[kimlec]

Expressive writing. To pour your feelings out on the page (or the screen), helps to get the stuff out of your mind & heart. Sometimes just a few lines or words can help with feelings of loss & helplessness that traumatic experiences can induce. Remember, you're writing to soften the impact of the distress. You never have to show your writing to anyone else. Hoping many discover the healing power of getting it down on paper.

[livfly]

What a fantastic message today, Anna! Releasing the immediate ruminations allow us to address what the real (underlying) issues are.

[kathyingram]

~I only write my fears & resentments when im having them~When im feeling happy & grateful, i go through a mental gratitude just before meditating, instead~♡~

[myoldfarmhouse]

Thank you Anna for your wise, thoughtful words...lm actually a really good writer...l hardly ever do! it's hard seeing it in Black and White and wondering who would find and read my words if anything should ever happen to me...or if l even step out of my own home!

[Chelsea]

I just did my first daily practice today and I actually feel worse
More depressed more anxious and the thoughts are just going around and around and around so much that I am afraid of being alone at home by myself. I’m going to give it a go every day for a week and see if it feels better. It’s interesting but I followed Law of attraction for a while and they always say to just replace a bad thought with a better feeling thought and if you were to write things down write down gratitude or positive affirmations because you will just reinforce the negative if you focus on the negative, but trying not to think the dark thoughts always seemed to make them stronger. I am struggling so much right now I really hope this works. I have a difficult time with the concept of a higher power also, it is just so abstract to me the idea of accessing it directly just doesn’t seem real. I have felt the universe at times while in nature or meditating or happy
But while I’m sitting in my apartment miserable there is nothing further away and more abstract than the idea of a higher power
I just don’t know what to do