Behavioral Traits of Narcissism

Welcome to Q&A Monday! I am answering your questions from last Monday on toxic people with personality disorders, the damage they cause their victims and how to heal. Please ask questions and leave your locations.

Monday, August 5, 2024 8/5/24

Stop Narcissistic Online Bullying Petition:

If you believe you have been a victim of emotional abuse, please seek professional help.

Suicide Prevention (US) 1 800 273 8255

Domestic Violence help (US) 1 800 799 7233

Suicide Prevention (CAN) 1 833 456 4566

Womens Aid (UK) 0808 2000 247

Domestic Violence help (AUS) 1 800 RESPECT (737 732)

Thank you for watching and please vote for this video with a thumbs up or down. Please share this video with someone else and on social media, forums, groups, and try placing it in a playlist. Please subscribe if you would like to see more and thank you for supporting myself and this channel.
#daviddemars #demarscoaching

[petersouthwell]

Dude.. I ran into a video of a person pretty pissed at ya.. Wont go into it because I felt it was personal and not something you drone on about in public.

But damn man.. Heart goes out to you having to deal with that from close people. No wonder your producing this content. And by the way.. it's helpful.

Good luck.

[emilemerten]

There are two groups of people.
The other people don't want me to be myself. they Just want me to act like they act because there are more types of people like them. They are rude and loud and don't care about art, they only see things how they are not what they could be, they never look beyond what they can see, they always want facts before being able to believe something, even when you know it is true but don't know how to articulate it. They enjoy competing and breaking people down to make themselves look good. They are better at speaking than you so you can't think fast enough to be able to defend yourself.

[Saritastarsseed]

We all have narcissistic traits (same more some less), only a few people are patological narcissist and have NPD.

[TGM-gb]

Hello David this is frank again from Florida I recently Took my BPD girlfriend back after a hoover due to me feeling weak and. I told her I would give her another chance if she stopped mentioning other men or talking about her exes or sleeping around. she said yes, and the first thing she dose when i see her is bring up a guy she used to sleep with and preceded to show me pictures of her ex on Facebook she made a comment about my genitals that i found inappropriate and i expressed that to her and she kicked me out literally 24 hours ago she was saying how much she loves me and misses me after being with her other boyfriend for a week i need help i keep attracting cheaters and BPD women . its been a problem my whole life and i am 40 now its half my fault and i feel shame and embarrassment

[mariatobin]

Signed the petition David. Lets all come together and sign it!! Maria from NY/NJ. ❤

[Janisg]

My question is much shorter then situation explanation: What are the similarities and differences between BPD and sociopath, how often do they cooccur?
Here is the situation:
I divorced my ex -wife over 2 years ago. Since then we are in custody battle for 3 children. Since divorce we have 50/50% time share after few 6 month to a year we might have final court order. Lately she started to trespass on my property "To check if children are safe". She refuses to leave my property (outside the house) and calls cops so they come and let her into my house. It was on the speakerphone the phone police instructed her to leave my property, but she keeps coming. She is bangin on doors and windows, and asks children to come out and spend time with her. (3 sons ages 10 and 12years old). I installed cctv cameras and purchased bodycam and use it each time she is on my property. This year I have 8 occasions on video, I plan to start different court for stalking, so she can not come close to my property. She used to spend 30 to 60 minutes on my property, after I called the cops on her she left before cops came, after that she spends much less time here, 5 to 10 minutes at a time and is gone. I don't fear for my physical safety. I am male, way bigger and stronger than her. I dont think she might physically attack me because it would harm her court case. She is after child support and there will be no child support if she manages to kill me.
I go to psychotherapist who specializes on personality disorders once a month, for the past 4 years, it is too expensive for me to do it more often. I assumed and my psychotherapist agreed that according to what I am telling, my ex might have BPD. Mostly - extreme and fast mood swings, fear of abandonment and clinging always needs to get her way. Before we divorced she used to threaten suicide to get attention from me, it worked at that time. But I assume there was no real intention, and she never injured herself on purpose. Very parasitic lifestyle, after we had first child was born, she refused to get a job for ten years, until we divorced. Now she has a job, but gets government benefits, government played lawyer, and worst of al - has no court fees. I have to pay for myself in court. She wants to get sole custody, and as much child support as possible. In short-term, she is very convincing layer court, but since court drags for years and everything in court is audio recorded or or paper, her story starts to crack and fall apart. She keeps repeating the same lays after they where disproven. My ex does not admit it, but according to latest phycological evaluation my ex refuses to accept our divorce. Looks like I will get full custody and she will have visitation rights.
I showed latest bodycam video to my psychotherapist, how confident, calm and bold my ex wife feels on my property and refuses to leave. This was the first time I showed therapist video footage how my ex is acting. She told that it looks much worse than BPD, my ex-wife is acting more like sociopath (maybe paranoid), not BPD. My therapist suggested to use all legal tools that are available, attack first and fight hard, and have no remorse of what legal, financial consequences my ex wife would have, because I legally protect my rights. English is not my first language, and I translate the terms I heard from my psychotherapist to english, I might have translation error. Next time I will talk to therapist about sociopathy.

[grikmyr]

Hi David, It's Alec from Melbourne Australia. I've been watching your videos for quite some time now and as you know I am a big fan of yours. I consider you a father figure, David. If I remember correctly, you said in one of your videos you haven't got any children of your own. Any child would be lucky having you as a dad. You rock David!! ❤

[apstrad]

I have been seeing a woman for a year, it is a long distance relationship...I see her every two weeks for long weekends. There is a 13 year age gap, I am 67, she is younger. We have a great time together, I look forward to seeing her. We exchange heartfelt gifts all the time, nothing expensive, just simple things. The one thing that I have noticed, she never says thank you...I finally brought it up this past weekend...and I got a blank look from her. She said she appreciates everything I have done for, and given her. She asked, "why does a 'thank you' means so much to you?" My response, because it feels good to hear that form of appreciation..., Am I overthinking this? Over reacting? She is the victim of narcissistic relationships, I am the son of a narcissistic father.
Thank you
David from Michigan

[Willa]

Love your Q And A videos David. ❤ I think most abusers have narcissist and or psychopathic personalities. Once you notice you are dealing with a person with these personalities get away as safely as you can.

[daviddemars]

Please isgn and share the Stop Narcissistic Online Bullying petition

[daviddemars]

Please ask questions and leave your locations.

[SurnaturalM]

I don't know if you answered the questions I had concerning some physical and cognitive tests I did a couple of months ago. I'm 51, and I was told by the doctors when I was around 17 or 18 years old, that I was autistic, but recently I had a medical evaluation with MRI scans, and they discovered that my brain didn't function properly.

My frontal lobe has little activity, and my amygdala never formed/woked as it's supposed to. Also, I did à cognitive test that's called The Hare Test. It's a cognitive test, and they did tell me the score, which was, by what I've been told, between 25 and 31. That said, I always felt little or no empathy towards strangers and often felt like a "stranger" myself around others. The therapy I used to have for autism helped me to recognise the signs on others so I don't hurt them, I think hurting people is pointless.

My question is that they absolutely refuse to tell me any diagnostic. I tried many times and asked politely, but the only answer I get is, "we can't tell you yet."
I don't know why they do this. Anyway, I have an idea of what the diagnostic will be, and it's not something I would reveal to people around me or my family, because my family is the only people that are important to me and that I care about.

I want to know what you think about this. I might add that I was never arrested, and I'm not into doing anything that would get me arrested either.

I want to know what you think because I'm curious about those things, and since they won't tell me anything, I am interested in knowing what you think.

I'm in Québec, Canada, currently, but I'm from Alsace, France ( Bas-Rhin, 67)

I always find your videos interesting, and I appreciate your humour. Thank you.

P.S. if you already answered, just let me know, I will watch the video and see if I can find it. Thanks.

[RelRodriguez-hell]

Healing family from California. Another awsome video David! Thank u. I’m already looking into family law to know my rights and to just b ready and well informed if ex borderline fiance takes me to court. Thank u for ur advice.

Do you know if family law/family law judges know about personality disorders?

Are they familiar with people’s disorders? like in my case the father of my children disappeared, do u think would that b a red flag to the courts that something is wrong with my kids father?

[THA-CG-FATHER]

Hi again David, I hope your doing well my friend 🙋It's Peter from the UK again, I just wanted to say & touch more on the question the lady ask you near the end if its ok just regarding why her ex partner has downgraded in regards to what he explained he liked/didn't like in his partner's just to shed some more light on it because I remember watching a video on YouTube by someone who knows a lot more about psychopathy/narcissism than I imagine I ever will even though I'm a lot more educated from watching his & your videos when I was trying to make sense of things about 12-18 months ago & his explanation why an ex partner will seemingly downgrade in their next relationship is the main reason like you say is that most people with some personalities discussed aren't able to self regulate their own emotions & have a co-dependent attachment style relationship issue & need to rely on someone to make them feel better as you say regardless of whoever the ex partner chooses but the intention is to lower the self esteem of the previous partner if I explained it good enough for you to see that it is too make the previous partner start to doubt their own self worth which as you know is all psychological manipulation & another form of gaslighting but I hope you will be pleased to here that I have been able to accept all the chaos I experienced for what it was once I understood about all the traits & tactics & learned to just let it all go because we can't change the past so I am planning for a brighter more wiser future with a grand driving tour of about 16 European countries for my 50th birthday to visit the main capitals after I save enough money in just over 18 months & has given me something to look forward too as well as accepting I still have another chance to live a happier life again & enjoy all the freedom but I also just wanted to send you all the best as well too buddy & thanks again David!!! 🌅 I hope your still enjoying sharing all your videos to help others because it's nice seeing you still posting, I found going for walks helped doing the steps on my fone app to process everything & release all the negative thoughts & energies that are not my own🌇 have a great day 😎

[milenIV]

Hi David. Milen from France.
Can you give some examples of BPD entitlement and grandiosity?

[emilemerten]

from south africa
Hi David
Thank you for your answer, I will try to do more things that interests me, the town I stay at is rather small, with few places to go.
I have seen many exercises for anxiety, but I don't feel anxious I feel angry all the time.

[rorywright]

Yes, David, I spent the whole time I was in Michigan, trying not to trip or fall over three Frenchies! Didn’t want to end up in Nursing home with a broke hip, since that seems to be the outcome for many seniors my age, lol! Thank you for answering my question about vindictiveness! You were spot on concerning my husband! Enjoyed tonight’s Q&A! 😎❤️

[emilemerten]

from south africa
Does a schedule actually work? You just rebel against it and it doesn't work. It just makes you depressed.

[rorywright]

OMG, David! You are scary good at gaslighting!!😂😎❤️

[jasec]

Jase from Brisbane, Australia. If a Borderline says she feels suffocated straight after the Idealization stage and asks for a few days of space, could this be the beginning of devaluation?