Autism Feels Like Oversharing is Normal #autismsigns

Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. #ActuallyAutistic #orionkelly #autism #autismsigns #whatautismfeelslike #asd

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[richardwhite]

52yo autistic. For me it comes back to a lack of comprehension of what expected small talk actually is.

[johnknox]

I hate small talk. It is so friggin’ exhausting. I can’t do small talk and when I behave what is normal for me, it’s too much for the other person. I have been told I overshare too much. Like a lot. I haven’t quite found the balance in it. I can’t help it, just the way I am built. Small talk drains me. An authentic in-depth real conversation doesn’t wear me out so much. I’m so weird in that regards. Really I don’t like conversing with people in general. I always feel completely awkward when I try.

[crazyknitter]

So, who does oversharing or rambling when they type a post or response on social media or email? I do it constantly and have to delete about half I wrote because I realised I rambled. 😂

[countessdelancret]

Typically I’ll just throw out a “wild” topic and if the other person jumps on it and carries on the conversation well, I will then know they were worth my time in “small talk.” My favorite topics to discuss with relative strangers are psychology, philosophy, and anthropology. I find in general these topics are great for fishing out potential friends.

[Pete_]

Small talk is the bane of my existence 😅 I will always indulge people with a “I’m well thank you, terrible weather yes, yip, so true etc” to be polite. Then, in my mind, it’s my turn. Oh boy. I can see people’s eyes glaze over when I start rambling on about my special interest which is geography. People don’t like geography 😆

[jondeik]

The truth is, most people undershare. “Over”sharing is far more loving and practical

[Chazzystar]

I constantly overshare and don't realize it until afterwards when I overthink and replay everything back, in my mind-- then I feel stupid and embarrassed and remind myself why I don't socialize with others, especially ones I don't know very well.

[reed]

I overshare, but then stop talking completely until my friendships crash and burn

[chong]

Absolutely the need to fit in - contribute something that other people are probably unaware of. For a brief moment, you control the conversation. Then you cannot understand when the expected reward of people applauding you for your insight is replaced with the reality of a sometimes uncomfortable silence or a quick change of subject. It is devastating. You may have revealed something that is extremely personal and could be used against you. It's a hard lesson to learn. Unfortunately, the lesson learned is to avoid small talk by withdrawing from situations where it is likely to occur.

[hellequinm]

It's a skill that can be learned, if any other autistic person wanna try, my tip is: stop trying to understand on your own point of view, and observe more how they interact between each other. I had learned it for the sake of keeping my job, and I do great, oversharing at the right moments make people connect with you and see you as an authentic person, not a weirdo. But yeah, if you don't want or have no need to learn it, it's fine too.

[j.b.]

My “small talk” makes people blush. I wish I was joking. (Human resources manager, at my work, gave me a coaster which says: I'VE REACHED THAT AGE WHERE MY BRAIN GOES FROM "YOU
PROBABLY SHOULDN'T SAY THAT.' TO "WHAT THE HELL, LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS”. She recognized that I am different, where others just think my honesty is rudeness. She’s the only person who knows about my AuDHD.

[DavidJVMusic]

"I probably shouldn't have said that".... yup...

[Ubi]

My partner [autie] and I [adhd] discussed this a few months ago, and for her it's a means of feeling understood, because being misunderstood can feel dangerous, probably due to past traumas. For someone with adhd it can feel really overwhelming to have layer after layer of detail and information placed onto the conversation, but for her she is able to get all the things out that she thinks is important the first time. It's a communication struggle we continue to work on and develop.

[Quoxz]

Small talk shits me to tears.
I can do it, we can talk about nothing, and have that info drop out the back of my head immediately because of how much it didn't matter.

[FuzzyTrekkie]

It's taken me a long time to figure out what topics count as small talk and how long it's expected to talk about certain topics without the other person getting overwhelmed.

What sucks is when we're still in the small talk phase but they touch on a topic I'm obsessed with.

I have a Star Trek tattoo on my forearm. All someone has to say is "cool tattoo" and I'm suddenly chomping at the bit to talk about everything Star Trek. I hate it that I have to hold back until they start talking about it first

[clairejones]

I hate small talk. It’s so exhausting and superficial for my liking and I don’t understand how Neurotypicals deal with it. I’ve been told that I talk way too much and therefore, overshare. People complain about me over sharing, me talking about my special interests, me talking too much about myself, me info-dumping, me giving the somehow “wrong” facial expressions, etc. it goes on and on and on. I’m autistic and have ADHD. I mask every day and I still constantly get the rules wrong. There are so many rules and instructions to figure out and nobody is telling me what they are. It’s like playing a board game when everyone has the instructions and knows how to play the game except for you. And when you try ask or try figure out how to play the game, people are constantly yelling at you and insulting you. As a result, you end up isolating yourself. You think there’s something seriously wrong with you. I’m still trying to find out the rules of social communication. I really do appreciate people who try to understand and help me by teaching me and giving me solutions to things. I apologise for this comment being really long and if there are any typos.

[flipflopgamer]

I like using the "info-dump and see if they stay" method. If they are willing to hear about monkey evolution, they can info-dump back later

[AutisticAthena]

I could just not talk at all... But that's a problem too. Fuck me, I guess.

[ingayoung]

"I don't". Orion how could you!!!! 🤣🤣🤣 Of course you do

[Tyedyeshyguy]

I have an ADHD diagnosis and overshare and often wonder if I’m autistic but maybe it’s just because I’m impulsive and impatient to get past the small talk.