Autism Feels Like Oversharing is Small Talk (Autism Feels 4)

Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. On this video I share my personal lived experiences as an #actuallyautistic person. #orionkelly #autism #asd #autismsigns #whatautismfeelslike

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ABOUT ORION:
Orion Kelly is an #ActuallyAutistic vlogger (YouTuber), podcaster, radio host, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about helping you increase your understanding, acceptance and appreciation of Autistic people.

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[robertabarnhart]

My mom asked me "Why do you say 'I'm okay' when people ask how you are?" and I told her, "Cos I know they don't want to know about all my owies and stuff, but I don't want to lie to their faces and say 'I'm fine'"

[whitneymason]

When growing up, I got told I overshare too much, even trauma dumping, which confused me I was just recalling life events. Now, I often find myself doing the opposite and keeping things very superficial. Great video! 💞

[BuckarooBonzai]

So, here's the deal: I show your videos to people I want to get to know. Then I know they know what I know, you know? 😅

[vivisunset]

I hate when someone is watching me or waiting for me to do something, I tend to mess up tremendously.

[NickSBailey]

a lot of NTs seem to be more like "how are you?", you give a few sentences of answers and they're not listening just waiting for you to finish so they can get to what they really wanted to do all along, talk about themselves

[NitFlickwick]

I feel you on the light touch. Perhaps the worst thing in the world is a hair being stuck to a shirt, brushing against my skin somewhere. Nothing can happen until that crime is addressed.

[BarbaraJackson-quis]

Thank you for this. One of those video's that made me cry. I cry because it's a relief to know that I'm not alone in feeling a certain way about something. There is a level of understanding.

[BliffleSplick]

I've basically surmised that small talk is a communal stimming for those who are socially very sensitive and need to have their rituals to feel at ease.
Any aberration from the ritual is shocking to their systems to the point of nausea, and it makes them feel threatened like either we are intruders, or they are the odd one out.
Which is why harmony is more important than clarity or verifiability.

Also: Small Talk can also be describing the amount of words exchanged in one go. Snippets instead of paragraphs.

[joe_joe_joe_]

I catastrophise everything. I guess it might be a survival method for me? Trying to always envision and expect the worst case scenario in case it happens. I also can't do something if someone is watching me do it, as you mention in your video. This has an implication for my job as every couple of years, schools are inspected and the teachers are observed which doesn't work for me, I just crumble.

[josie_u]

Phew, I even stop whatever I'm doing when I hear a neighbour in their garden! (European city) I know they can't see me since I have my curtains closed (obviously) and there is a high fence between our gardens, but just knowing they are there is enough for me to stop whatever I was doing. It really feels so good to hear that I'm not alone in needing so much privacy to function. Thank you!

[moshki]

Omg the not being able to do things when other people are around, thank goodness someone else experiences this. My diagnostician told me rhis was probably part of my dyspraxia (which, tbf, ia probably part of my autism) but it feels connected with the autistic experience for me.. I too absolutely feel judged just by someone else's presence and find it very hard to get into flow with others around whereas it's the easiest thing when im alone

I was raised by an insatiably critical and permanently angry parent who accepted practically nothing about me (diagnosed at 43)

[crowkraehenfrau]

I have to answer EVERY question I hear as completely as I can. Thats like on a train somebody asks somebody else a question. I don't even know them. If I feel I can help with the answer I simply have to blurt it out.

[michaelpieper]

Misinterpreted and misunderstood. So accurate.

[pipwhitefeather]

Haha! I can so relate. Recently I was at a funeral and I saw a fellow I've known a little for many years now. A friend of a friend I no longer see regularly. Well I decided the first thing I was going to tell him was that I've been having a mental breakdown lately.. because I am now aware of the autism behaviours, when his face turned to a cross between surprise and horror, I suddenly realised I was 'over-sharing' with someone I'm not at all close with. I laughed inside, and said 'wow let's get straight to it eh, how are you?' I have also learnt that you can direct attention away from yourself quite easily by asking questions of others, which I wish I'd known years ago while feeling 'on the spot'. Showering...I can postpone for days if I have nowhere to be.. Gotta hop in now though..in a min... Cheers Orion :D Glad you've got some energy back x

[nancymello]

It's funny because I'm a very private person, but if you ask me a question, i give way too much information. 😅

*this is by far. the best description of autism I've heard.

[seanburke]

I literally can't not over share. Also, I stick my foot in my mouth like it's candy..

[mrmarten]

NT's shouldn't be so easily offended. Not just for autistic people sensibilities, but also for NT people themselves. It makes live a lot easier.

[angiehewerdine]

This is another one of those videos that has opened me up to yet another deeply held imperfection that I have lived with my entire life; this need for solitude and recharge, for mental preparation for every single human interaction that I've ever had or that I will ever have. It is so exhausting. I feel like I'm being judged for breathing, an I'm the one doing most of the judging, on behalf of other people. It doesn't make sense to me. It never has. This brings a level of understanding that I was lacking. Thank you so much for this.

[glitterforcemaximus]

The feeling of my PlayStation controller cable touching my leg would tweak me out when I was playing a game.

[BionicDance]

Ohhhh, the punctuality thing. Oh, yes, yes, yes indeedy. I _loathe_ when people are late.
And sudden change...? Jeez...put the bag in the water for a while, let the temperature equalize before dumping me in the tank!