ADHD LIFE! Why we interrupt, overshare, and talk so much! And some social skills tips to help!

If you have ADHD or know someone who does you might relate!

How often have we (those with ADHD) been in trouble for over sharing, interrupting, interjecting, dominating conversations and one-uping! You know you’re not, yet, you’re often accused of doing it on purpose!

We aren’t assholes, we’re just enthusiastic!😝

I understand and have some thoughts on the matter!

What do you think? Can you relate?

Love to hear your thought!

[kittywalker]

See, I always think I’m just relating that I understand them. It’s disturbing over time. I don’t care if people like me, but I do hate being misunderstood.

[swanhill]

Wow. Spot on. When I was younger, I always thought that actively relating to a person in a conversation was showing engagement and interest in the person and their feelings. I have learned to keep my mouth shut, well, I’ve learned to be self conscious about interacting with others, is really more accurate.

I never used to care at all about what others thought about me, but, as I have grown older, I have absolutely developed that dysphoria you speak of. I never thought about it like that, but, yeah…wanting to relate to someone and show interest, then realizing that person perceived it completely opposite of my intentions has had a profound impact on me. Having to sensor myself because I was afraid I would be perceived as disrespectful, not knowing how much participation was too much, or too little, ultimately made me overly self conscious over time, ruined a great deal of my confidence, and dimmed my spark.

My greatest desire is to understand, and to be understood, but in every situation, I end up agonizing over every detail. Regardless of the importance of the interaction. Strangers, even, a word or two with a stranger will have me questioning myself for hours! It absolutely weighs on you.

[bunnyxxjay]

This is really hitting home. Everyone hates me at work. Everyone thinks I'm annoying. It's really stressful but I can never shut up

[pamellacampos]

Today I just had an argument with my boyfriend because we work at the same place, and during our creative meetings, I always end up interrupting someone. This comes across as competitive to people, who end up seeing me as someone insecure who wants to be the center of attention. I drastically reduced my social circle because, in the heat of the moment, I always got excited telling stories that, in my mind, were related to people's comments and were worth sharing. But every time I got home, I would spiral into replaying my dialogues, seeing if any of my statements were too sincere and rude, and the conclusion was always the same: I talked too much. I work in communication, so not feeling adequate expressing myself verbally destroys my self-confidence because I start to feel like a fraud, and mainly a bad person, egocentric, and even narcissistic. Thank you very much for sharing this video because I just wanted to be understood in my condition without being seen as a bad person, but rather someone who, due to my own nature, communicates this way. Thank you also for the guidance; I will try to find some balance in this situation! Love from Brazil ❤🇧🇷

[lisafolks]

Been doing it my whole life, not trying to one up anybody either, just affirming that what the other person is saying if anything. Story of my life.

[KartekaNicole]

I interrupt because I’m afraid I’m gonna forget what i was going to say in the conversation next sometimes. I’m not sure if other ADHD brains have this issue

[lftnbrand]

I was feeling really low until I saw your video. Thank you so much for posting. I am 30 years old and African American and was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid. For a long time I was bullied, ostracized, left out, and generally viewed as obnoxious and sometimes arrogant or narcissistic.

Everything that you said in this video has been my life up until this point and I’m glad your video discussed the feelings that us non-neurotypical types feel. I absolutely love engaging in conversations and can go on for hours yet it seems like the rest of society and neurotypicals can’t keep up. I’m not mad at them for it I’m just sad that I seem to push people away because and even now I have a lot to say and really love to share my ideas and thought processes. But I digress.

I’m learning to get a hold of this habit of over sharing, over talking, overstimulation because I truly want to coexist with neurotypicals without being seen as a monster. So lastly I just want to say thank you for posting this. I have liked and subscribed because I think this should be talked about more. I have this self deprecating, self defeating, and self doubting negative thought pattern all because I love learning, talking, and sharing. I hope I can get better and I hope you make more videos on how to feel normal because this is what makes me cry alone in my room because I feel like everyone hates me. I can’t change how I was born and I don’t want to diminish my light for the sake of others but it’s really lonely sometimes not being able to just be my energetic and smart self.

Okay I think that’s all I needed to say. You are awesome. I love that you’re walking. And I hope you have a wonderful day. ❤️🧘🏾‍♂️

[kelseyv]

One thing that’s helpful as a trained stylist, is to always turn the conversation back to the other person, so there’s an interest in them rather than just our chatter about ourselves. There are pointed questions that start a conversation, but people love talking about themselves, so it is a time to learn rather than talking too much. The times to let yourself talk I would say is with friends that genuinely want to hear from you, but remember just because it’s interesting to you doesn’t mean it’s their interest, so try to find out first what their interests are so you can both share back and forth, and that is a successful conversation.

[solala]

what helped me: I allow my closest friends to try one verbal signal when I interrupt them. if I still interrupt after that first "warning" they are allowed to take and hold my hand until they finish their story. this was a gamechanger for my friends, since we are all busy people with limited time to meet each other. the physical signal helps me to stay present and remember the importance of them also sharing in their unique way.

I just talk and think differently than most people but that does not mean an engaging conversation for both parties is impossible.

much love and stay safe!

[NicoleMoonyt]

I know I shouldn't be, but I'm sitting here in tears watching your video. I've never felt more understood. This is my biggest mental battle today.. well, really always. I feel like I'm taking up too much space bc I just can't stop talking. It's so small to the average person but "you're annoying" sends me into a tailspin bc it's the most common thing I've been told my whole life. When I was told "no one's even listening to you, just stop talking" my heart about shattered bc I was so excited to share in that moment. It feels really awful wondering why I'm not likeable and feeling tolerable. Thank you.

[joolsjeffery]

My daughter told me that I always make it about me and I was mortified! It’s that last thing I intend. I began to realise that I might have ADHD and this describes me to a t.
I have learned to hold back because I always have something to say, I have really big thoughts and often I’ll be thinking of things i hear later on podcasts or talks and I’ve kept it in so people don’t think I’m a smart arse... not that it really matters what they think, it just makes life easier.
I really resonate with this.

[angelapastorius]

I relate so HARD to this, I will share that once (during the pandemic when masks were required) I went to my college class with painter's tape over my mouth to make SURE I didn't talk, since I seem to always be the one that has something to say, and no matter how I prep my mind beforehand "don't talk - let others do the talking ... they will get to your question or point eventually" it doesn't work. Because we were wearing masks, no one would know that I literally taped my mouth shut. It worked.

[whiterabbit]

I was told by my lawyer that I constantly interrupt and it made me realize I’ve been doing it my whole life. My mind is just constantly going. Everything you said I can completely relate to.

[Blessedbeyond.]

Why I feel like you are the first person to describe me.i was never diagnosed but this is me.i never ever mean to harm anyone and it makes me so sad when people take me as rude or selfish in any way :(

[pwolckp]

I do this all the time and I hated about myself. It’s gotten to the point where I hate going to work events or even volunteering with other people because I know I’ll talk too much, over share and then when I get home, i’ll be mortified as soon as I leave and replay everything I said and beat myself up for talking about myself or too much or over sharing!

[angelabeckman]

I don't have ADHD, but I do have social difficulties that I work on, and what you described happens to me too. I get excited and to contribute and I've also been accused of being selfish, not caring, and not listening. Ironically, I always feel the opposite. That I care a lot and try to listen and understand them. There's just a disconnect in the interpretation. I've seen what I was doing described as interrupting, taking someone's conversation and turning it to my own story which cuts them short and makes them feel left behind and invalidated. I've made an effort to not do that and remind myself that they need to be heard. The hard part though, is that when the moment passes I find it difficult to talk the information later or at all. It feels like an opportunity for connection and idea exploration has been lost. I'm still looking for a solution to that problem. I just try to remind myself that their story is their time to share.

[eviealaya]

Literally me in a nutshell this was BEYOND refreshing to hear I'm not alone!

[tannyaSA]

Yes! I have the inattentive type. But I do still have a response for everything. I had a boyfriend once tell me that I always have to tell a story about my own experiences every time they said something about them. I never noticed it until he pointed it out.

I have the problem of hyper-focusing on a person or conversation and then feeling like it’s so hard to pull away from it, not realizing that the time is passing by. Sometimes I’m the person left standing there wanting to talk more but realizing that the other person is walking away.

I still think they enjoyed the conversation. But they just had to go. Because they have an internal clock. And don’t hyper focus the way I do. 🤷‍♀️

[tannugupta]

This is so so true, i really wanna work on myself to stop interrupting

[chrisjeffrey]

Oh yeah!!! The story of my life!!! I woke up this morning & my brain was going crazy, because I told a lady at church yesterday, practically the story of my entire life!!!
The first time we've ever talked really & I just did not shut up! I am so embarrassed, because my church has merged with another much larger church & I just keep going through the entire congregation it feels like, alienating everyone 😓
I try so hard to shut up, but I don't even realise I'm doing it at the time.
I'm 63 & having my assessment in a week, although the more I find out about ADHD, the more I know this is me!
Thanks so much for sharing this. Makes such a difference, knowing what's wrong with me.