Unmasking Autism: the conversation no one is having about autism and Amanda Seales

hey, what's up, hello, & welcome to
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about the vid:
four months later... but it's a timeless one. Here's the conversation (read: video essay) no one is having about #autism, ableism, and @TheAmandaSeales. Since I went to school, got my degree, and know every freaking thing (sarcasm, but I really did use my degree for this one).

Originally recorded on May 1, 2024

tones throughout video: genuine, serious

TIMESTIZZAMPS
0:00 purpose & intentions of this video
3:18 intro
4:39 who I am & why I’m talking about this (ethos)
6:12 working definitions (logos)
13:45 in the case of Ms Amanda Seales
TW: discussion of ableism, ostracization & bullying

DIAGNOSIS
27:38 All about diagnoses
How is autism diagnosed?
29:00 not diagnosed as a child but later in life
32:50 why some people talk publicly about their diagnosis
35:16 what if they’re doing it for attention?
37:27 why do some people keep their diagnosis private?
40:01 someone I know might be on the spectrum

AUTISM & THE PUBLIC
40:36 why I love to see people talk about being autistic

YouTube creators who have publicly disclosed that they’re on the autism spectrum who make quality content (on ASD & otherwise):

@thethoughtspot222
@Fabsocialism
@thegentlelife
@orionkelly
@LouRatchett
@MrNostalgia
@Kaelynnism

♡ Show them some love ♡

45:09 what to do when someone discloses their diagnosis
47:25 stop gaslighting autistic people.
52:16 stigmas & ostracization
TW: discussing stigma, religious trauma, misunderstanding neurodivergent people, the mistreatment of autistic people

MAKING IT PERSONAL (pathos)
57:25 I’ve gotten it wrong before, too
TW: discussion of ablism & ostracization
58:56 to anyone neurodivergent who I grew up with
59:15 a positive example
1:03:59 to the neurotypicals
1:04:34 how I treat neurdivergent people
1:07:28 open letter to everyone autistic (including Amanda Seales)
1:09:32 bloopers

TAGS
#compassion #autism #autismawareness #autismacceptance #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #clubshayshay #AmandaSeales #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthsupport #psychologistreacts #psychology #psychologist #videoessay

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[myworldautistic]

Another reason why many of us were not diagnosed as children is that we are actually older than the modern diagnosis. For example, I was born in the 1960s. The understanding of what Autism actually is was so limited at the time that people like me were missed. We were just as Autistic as we are now; we just did not get recognized until much later in life, I was originally diagnosed at the age of 47. So many of us had to spend decades struggling to survive with no recognition or supports at all for our disabilities.

The other thing too that you mentioned that we have to be careful about is this. You said, "If you ask the caregiver of an Autistic adult how they were as a child..." This is important. Only about 30% of Autistic people are highest support needs. Most of us do not have caregivers when we are adults. And a lot of Autistic adults who don't get diagnosed until much later in life no longer have access to people who knew them as young children. For example, those people may be dead or no longer in contact. It is important that people realize that most of us are very intelligent and have superb, better than average, long term memories. When we are talking about Autistic adults, our own recollections and memories of our own lives and our own self understanding should be very highly valued. Too often we get told that only a caretaker knows us and that other people know us better than we know ourselves. That idea is incredibly condescending and even borders on dehumanizing. So we need to be careful in the words that we use so that we don't continue to push these concepts that misrepresent the abilities of many, if not most Autistic people.

[matthewevans]

Great video, you popped up on the sidebar and after watching this I'm now a subscriber. I'm autistic and this was well scripted and delivered.
I've always felt the Theory of Mind to be a bit wonky and to an extent almost shields non-autistics from criticism of toxicity. Even if I wasn't autistic and had "Theory of Mind" I'm white and male, I could never put myself in your place because I have no point of reference for the black, female or intersectional experience but if you were to experience something negative because of those characteristics I can still acknowledge and react to that. This is where I feel the theory can be toxic, you see a lot of people limit someone's experience through Theory of Mind. I have personally had people not get my experience of sensory issues and how noisy environments kick in my fight or flight because my brain is trying to focus on EVERY sound as distinct and all at once and equate it to them not liking a noisy environment. You see people from majority demographics act like minority issues don't exist all the time because they've never experienced it and project their POV into the minority experience.

[myworldautistic]

You also mentioned tone. Many people don't realize that sometimes we are not physically capable of using a tone that non Autistic people might expect. Many of us also have a more flat affect.

A lot of times this might have to do with actual neurological differences such as brain processing speed. Sometimes it can also be because the brain literally cannot produce or harness the type of brain energy that is required for that kind of kinesthetic action. I used the word "kinesthetic" in this context because I can't think of the exact word that fits. I do hope you can understand what i mean though.

Part of the problem that we tend to face is the lack of theory of mind that non Autistic people have. What I mean is that when non Autistic people see us doing a certain "behavior" or even something completely out of our control like a neurological response, they often assume that we are exhibiting that "behavior" for the same reason or motive that they would have if they were doing that same "behavior." It can even be very difficult for many non Autistic people to believe or understand that the reasons that we do certain things are completely different from the reasons that they might have for doing the same behavior. So they end up judging us erroneously and then giving us consequences, sometimes extremely harsh consequences, because of their mistake in judgement which stems from their lack of theory of mind. And many times, in my personal experience, and in the experiences of my Autistic loved ones, our explanations of why we do the things we do are often not accepted because so called Autism experts who don't actually know what they are talking about keep pushing antiquated stereotypes which are completely wrong.

I really appreciate your openness and your desire to learn from us. So many people in your profession do not have that kind of humility and heart. I am so grateful for people like you who want to actually learn. 💗

[myworldautistic]

Also, to add to your comment about why having an official diagnosis is important, yes the validation is crucial, but also, many accommodations, resources, and services that we need to survive, function, and/or thrive are not accessible without an official diagnosis. And it is also true that resources and services for Autistic adults, especially older adults, are so few and far between if they exist at all. So for us to get the few crumbs of services and resources that might possibly be available we often have to have an official diagnosis.

[FreestyleTraceur]

Great video. I'm a bit shocked how much you know about ASD! I have a very similar background as you (B.S. Psych + B.S. in Bio, focus on neuropsych), similar experiences, and I am AuDHD myself. I would not personally consider myself an *expert*. But I also think the current medical paradigm has regularly shown how inadequate the pathologizing perspective is when it comes to capturing the full diversity of people's unique psychology and neurology. All of that's to say, well, go off :-)!

(I would love to know more about why you personally are so interested in ASD! It's great to see.)

[kkuudandere]

Thank you for explaining the alternate meaning behind Shannon's "No!", because I ALSO took that literally and thought he was just denying the possibility at all lol, I forgot the possible second meaning behind that

It's interesting (and painfully typical) that so many people would accuse Amanda of being "rude" and unlikable in social interactions, but somehow also insist she CAN'T be autistic, even though that's kind of the point. That's part of the whole "deficit in reciprocating emotions" thing, and it's happened to me a lot lmao. Actually, non-autistic people are often very quick to point out how "weird" we are, but don't want to accept a reasonable explanation for it, it has to be that we're just being mean or bad on purpose. "She's always like that... but not autistic! she's just a lil quirky/different/mean." So close to the truth, and yet...😅

Anyway... this video is a great resource!💕

[myworldautistic]

I tried to edit my last comment but it won't let me.

I was trying to explain why it is much more difficult for us to accommodate neurotypical social needs than it is for neurotyoical people to accommodate us. Unlike them, we have the added struggles of having to survive in an environment that is not compatible with us. The constant sensory overstimulation or for some Autists, constant under stimulation, can make just existing a daily challenge. So to have to add meeting social requirements that make no sense to us and that are logically impossible to understand, especially if we don't even know they exist, and having to constantly be held accountable to them at fear of being punished, rejected, bullied, or even socially tortured, if we get it wrong, as you can imagine, that makes everything so much harder especially for Autistic people who do not have the support they need and, in the case of many of us who are older, have never had the support, validation, or recognition for being Autistic.

[ZD]

the talk is educational & empathetic ♡👩🏽‍🏫

[Dana-thxm]

This is a really good video. Thank you for making this.

[myworldautistic]

You mentioned that the absence of theory of mind is something that we all have. You also mentioned that that is a topic for another video. That statement that we all lack theory of mind us actually incorrect.

The truth is that there are many different types of theories of mind and every human, no matter what our neurological types, lack theory of mind in some way.

Also, most people do not realize that most Autistic people have extremely developed Theory of mind in at least one or two categories. In fact, many of us have much higher developed theory of mind in certain areas than neurotypical people do.

I have known so many neurotypical people who severely lack theory of mind (TOM), in fact, i have never met a neurotypical person who has TOM as highly developed as some Autistic people that I know, but, for whatever reason, lack of TOM in allistic (non Autistic) people is never pathologized. It is only pathologized in Autistic people even though the majority of Autistic people have very good TOM.

[myworldautistic]

I LOVE your "wonderfully made" tshirt 💖

[myworldautistic]

You did a great job and your hair looks lovely 💗

Love that you put bloopers in. 😂❤️

[gnomie.]

Fantastic video! ✨Subscribed!✨ Thank you for using your voice and platform to help better the world. ❤

There’s a lot of neurodivergence in my family & friend circles, most of it “undiagnosed” or diagnosed in adulthood, so I especially appreciate everything you said about barriers to diagnosis. I know those barriers apply to ADHD diagnosis as well, and I’m guessing they apply to other forms of neurodivergence that I’m less familiar with, especially considering the medical system’s general neglect/mistreatment of all the people who were *not* studied in order to create these diagnoses in the first place.

Anyway, thank you again! Now back to the last 20 minutes of this video. Thanks to my ADHD I had to stop and comment before the end so I didn’t forget what I wanted to say… 😂

[myworldautistic]

Thank you so much for your openness and honesty and sincere apology for how you treated NDs in that past. That is very courageous of you and shows your beautiful heart and integrity. I appreciate that so very much. Thank you. 💖

[myworldautistic]

Because I know that you have a humble and beautiful heart that is always looking to learn, I want to run this by you. This might be a little difficult but I want to reassure you that my intention is only to make you more effective in your work so please do not take this wrong. It is meant to help you and to give you something that will only raise the respect that Autistic people have for you.

When you listed your credentials, that was really good. But after you did that, you said that your credentials made you an expert in Autism. Even though you are very learned in many things about Autism and even though you have Autistic relatives, saying that you are an expert in Autism, especially to Autistic people, I am sure that plenty of us support your channel, is probably not a good idea. Imagine how you might feel if I were to publicly say that I am an expert in neurotypicality because 99% of my relatives are neurotypical and I have done in depth studies in psychology. If an Autistic person said that, it probably would not go well. In fact, I have been yelled at, reprimanded, punished, and bullied in the past by some neurotypical people because I have told them that I have learned about different thought patterns that neurotypical people often use but that are not commonly used by Autistic people. I was told, ' how dare I think that I could possibly know or understand how neurotypical people think.'

Being treated like this is, unfortunately, pretty common. We constantly get told that neurotypical people are experts in Autism and if we have a different experience than what they say, we are wrong. We also tend to often get told that we can't possibly have any insights on neurotypical people. I was even once denied the opportunity to apply for a job as a peer to peer counselor for Autistic people. The reason they gave me was that I could not be hired because I am Autistic and they believed that an Autistic person could not relate to or help Autistic clients because we are all different so only neurotypical people could help or counsel the Autistic clients.

Saying that you are an expert in Autism can really alienate and hurt Autistic people because we have such a history of neurotypical people convincing the world that we, even as adults, cannot possibly understand our own condition and that everyone must only rely on neurotypical caregivers, parents, teachers, therapists, and doctors to explain our lives to everyone else. We also tend to experience enormous amounts of gaslighting from non Autistic people.

Fortunately, things are starting to change and Autistic voices are starting to be heard and respected but we still have a long way to go to change how we are seen at large.

Saying that the credentials you listed makes you an expert in Autism when you are not even Autistic yourself can come off as ableist. And even Autistic psychologists and Autistic scientists and researchers who are Autistic themselves do not make this claim.

I know you mean well and that you would never intend to do harm and I love that about you. This is why I felt like I could tell you this because I know you want to help our community as much as you can. ❤️

[ZD]

wow because you ate this up. USE THAT DEGREE WE WORKED HARD FOR THAT MUG

[AspieGamer]

You're one pretty lady. Sorry for saying that. As someone on the Autism spectrum I can't say I've had the easiest life. The world needs to change and people on the Autism spectrum go through a lot, are invalidated not to mention more.

[veerow]

Amanda brought up autism to excuse her bad behavior. I think that is why many people question her motive here. She also was intentionally misleading about being diagnosed and kept changing her story in different interviews. I don't know if Amanda is autistic or not, but she handled this poorly and should not escape scrutiny

[myworldautistic]

Just FYI, the music in your video is extremely overstimulating. I am Autistic and the music in your video made it very difficult for me to listen to the video. The overstimulating music actually made me physically sick and made me have meltdowns. This is something that many people do not consider when they are making content. I hope that my telling you will be helpful to you. 💗