6 experiences unique to autistic adults

#LateNotLess #AutisticAdults #AutismBC #AutismAcceptance

[getshorty]

I'm an Autistic Adult. Here's the bottom line: We live in a society OBSESSED with work and access to property and credit. OBSESSED. Some of y'all have even said, your families are obsessed with work. This is the MAJOR challenge of my adult life. Not so much the work itself but dealing with all the pettiness, drama, and bullshit of coworkers day in and day out.

[spinwitch]

In theory I agree with you. BUT if you only get diagnosed as an adult (I was 57 yrs old) it is completely different. After a lifetime of "failure" (school, university, work, relationships etc) getting diagnosed is a relief. But it made me also very angry at all the health care professionals who did not take the time to look deeper, called me lazy or stupid (even stubborn), because I lacked so many "normal" skills.

[relentlessrhythm]

I wish sensory friendly bars existed where autistic adults could show up, drink, and info dump in a dimly lit room with peaceful music in the background. Looks like a library but it's a bar.

[lynnboartsdye]

That last part about living independently is a bit daunting as an autistic adhd person, I see people like my parents whose lives revolve around work act like “that’s just the way it is” since that’s how they were raised which kinda freaks me out because usually for me after doing a big task or going out to run errands my brain and body are just done and need to decompress, also planning and organizing things for neurodivergent people takes more mental energy than most realize so not only is energy spent on physical tasks but the planning of what’s next. I’m trying to transition towards a mindset of navigating life at my own pace and factoring in my difficulties but I still feel surrounded by this social pressure of “you need to do more, you need to achieve more, you’re falling behind”

I hope my fellow neurodivergent adults are doing well ❤

[lizannedavies]

"Autistic adults who manage to hold down a job struggle (with tasks at home)" 🙋‍♀️💯

[leliza]

I want to add to that last point, as someone who's been adjusting to living alone the last year, that for me it wasn't about forgetting to do those things. With meals especially I would get so overwhelmed each day that I would have a meltdown. My mind would go really fuzzy and I couldn't think clearly enough to put a meal together. Doing way better now though if that helps give hope to anyone out there! One step at a time

[fbbWaddell]

I have an older cousin who just gave me the adult sex talk. I learned about puberty and everything else when I was 10. However, no one ever explained to me the complex social needs and expectations that people have in an adult sexual relationship. This was prompted by me telling him that I met someone that I find interesting. It was a great lecture and I learned a lot. People who are not autistic probably wouldn't have needed such a lecture, but my cousin understands that I need human interaction explained. Otherwise, I'm just frustrated and confused by why people are mad at me.

[davidmurphy]

Diagnosed at 60, now my misbegotten life is explained. Never had a girlfriend, bastardised at work, retired alone.

[mikeparkerEDyt]

Forgetting to eat, drink and sleep. Yep, that's me!

[elevatorface]

I relate to all six. The strangest thing for me is the last one, living independently. I've done a lot of things and had life experiences many people dream of having like travelling the world and achieving "dreams" etc. Idk how I did those things and do them. But at the end of the day, I can barely take care of myself in a way NTs can. I get confused, muddled and overwhelmed very easily with things like paying bills, taxes and applications etc. I always live a life of incredibly high stress that's lead to becoming disabled. I have an ASD 2 friend who is very good at big picture planning, but I have no clue how to do that. Ppl presume I'm doing just fine 'cos they would expect an adult like me to do those things, but in reality idk if I'll end up homeless in a few months or not simply 'cos I cannot tend to basics. It's always infuriated my abusive family 'cos it just seems like I don't have a plan. And yet I've done all these supposed "big things" in everyone else's eyes that makes them presume I'm capable because I hyperfixated on one aspect of something and checked off every box in order boom-boom-boom until I was done and then I am lost again. So the skill gaps aren't just in my professional life, they exist like big gaping holes in my actual life. Like Jim below, I just feel alone and scared all the time as I'm sure many autistic adults must feel too.

[bettyrubble]

You say it so succinctly: "Eating, sleeping, cleaning, and running errands" Yep those are all tough. I live on my own and for now am managing to hold down a job to afford that. But on stressfull days i forget to eat a meal or two, only remember when i get a headache or cant concentrate then realize its from hunger.

My house is always in disarray, never would really have anyone over, even if i had friends, because its embarassing.

Errands are the worst. Usually order grocery delivery. How did people deal before that? Youre telling me to not starve you had to make a shopping list and go to the grocery store every week!?

Things i do to kind of work around it:

Hire someone to mow my lawn even though its kind of a waste of money.

Get groceries delivered

Basically eat the same food every week. Usually just have 1 same breakfast and a few super easy entrees i repeat for dinner and lunches.

Have no hacks for cleaning i cant afford to hire cleaners wish i could - i feel like outsourcing is the eadiest answer to all these things but all that takes money. I know i am lucky to afford getting someone to mow the lawn.

Anyway - ramble over.

[nishabhadauriya]

It started off with depression, anxiety and hereditary OCD(some panic attack episodes too), started taking therapy, things got a bit better but mostly the same. Then I got to know about 16 MBTI and related so much with the INFP type, few years later read about HSP/HSS, and then started getting youtube recommendations for ADHD in adults and then finally a video about Bridgerton's Francesca displaying Autistic traits got me here. I am scared, will it ever end? Is this it or is there still something else? Sometimes I accept myself fully, I love myself for who I am and then there are days like today, when I absolutely hate my life. I have always found it difficult to fit it, now I know why, but does it make things easy for me? Today I just feel like sitting in a corner and crying all day, not wailing just those tiny silent sobs.

[nafisakiani]

People who don’t use headphones who have their phones on loud speaker mode watching videos etc can be annoying esp at the gym or when travelling via train

[peters]

(after five minutes of solid information bombardment from a fast talker while I concentrate on maintaining appropriate eye contact so I look like I'm listening, but I can't listen because my attention is on worrying about looking like I'm listening and worrying that I've already forgotten most of it while they were still talking but I can't interrupt them to write any of it down or admit that I already forgot everything they said) "Can you put that in an email for me for so I can refer back to it?" "No. That's why I'm telling you now to save time and so I don't have to write it down." Literally no clue what I had been told. I was gone about two weeks later.

[r.w.bottorff]

Great video, you literally pointed out just about every struggle I'm currently facing in a way that may be understandable to allistic folks that I usually end up over explaining.

Diagnosed 1966 with autism. No education, training or direction. Lost my BC government labouring job at 42 because of my autism. Was told the top person in my ministry had it in for me and ended up forced into taking a modest buyout. Lost medical, dental, chunk of pension, human connection and more. 65 and that’s my employment legacy. The only work I found after was delivering telephone books and working at an election. I guess my resume read like an autistic resume because I never received one job response except these two menial labour positions - not one. Watching my brother with his career on top of family, grandkids and successful marriage - integrity - really hurts. He gave my parents grandkids and I gave them ambiguous loss and a reason to not be trusted.

[ckblackwoodmusic]

Thank you for this; I fight and suffer on a daily basis with no proper support system so it's nice to know we're understood and awareness is being raised.

[k.lambda]

"As they age, an autistic adult's migraines start to get more intense" Wait. This is a THING? Because I've definitely been seeing this over the last few years and hadn't connected it to either aging or Autism (and yes I have autism Dx). The really annoying thing is the way that tinnitus, which used to be just the precursor to a migraine has nearly become constant. It feels like my brain has just been turning up the sensory sensitivities now that I'm past 50 and I'm not at all happy about that

[PossumMedic]

1:02 - Nah I still just feel broken and unwanted

[Dillenger.]

It doesn't feel empowering. Now that I know it feels like a cage. There are things I've wanted to do my whole life that I know I just can't now. I'm pretty much just alone and scared. Lucky for me, my special interest is computers and programming.