Dating Someone With BPD - 5 Things You Need To Know

Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often encounter unpredictable emotional fluctuations and other symptoms that contribute to turbulent relationships. This video aims to explain five essential insights to enhance your understanding and guide you through the complexities of being involved in a romantic relationship with a partner who has BPD.
Clips from Prozac Nation and Silver Linnings Playbook

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About Lise Leblanc
Lise Leblanc is a Therapist, Life Coach, and Author with over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.

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DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. All content is for general information purposes only and does not replace a mental health care of consultation with a health professional.

If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:

Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) In Canada: 1.833.456.4566
Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.
Reach out to a loved one, trusted friend.
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR MENTAL HEALTH CARE.

0:00-1:35: Introduction
1:35-6:19: #1: Idealization and Devaluation
6:19-9:28: #2: Crushing Fears
9:28-10:54: #3: Suicide and Self-Harm
10:54-12:38: #4 Instability
12:38-14:08: #5 Anger and Rage
14:08-15:11: Conclusion

#BPD; #borderlinepersonalitydisorder ; #borderline ; #narcissist

[Kitesurfing_OZ]

Wow, you`re so right. I was married to a BPD woman. And that`s 100% her, she developed into an alcoholic, would flip from being loving, to tell me, I should get out of her life. Then the next day, she conveniently would have forgotten everything, and didn`t want me to go. It ended even with 2 suicide attempts and 4 days in coma. Now, I`m happily divorced and I blocked her.

[ytuser]

I would probably be able to cope with my now ex wife's instability, but I couldn't get over cheating, so first time I discovered it, I just dumped her and threw her out from my house. This is just absolutely unacceptable. I don't care about your problems if you cheat on me. I can help you if you're loyal, but what is the purpose of relationship with cheating? I despise such people.

[gary]

I think after 6 months of watching videos on BPD, this is the one that describes the relationship with my ex pwBPD the best.
No rage or suicidal ideation, but idealization and devaluation, engulfment and abandonment, impulsivity was there. Dumping me 24 hours after I plan a weekend away over a misunderstanding, blaming my communication "style" as the sole cause of problems. Every time we had a micro-breakup, she would be dating some random guy within a day or two. Spent months trying to show I wouldn't abandon her. Finally caught her Tindering while we were together. Utter shitshow.

[lakelvp]

I've been in relationships with two bpd women. The splitting and extreme devaluation, hateful attacks and gaslighting drove me to a deep depression. I suspect i am drawn to them because I'm seeking to recreate/heal from my own childhood trauma. I also suspect bpd is diagnosed more in women than men because many men with bpd probably commit suicide or end up in prison rather than seeking or getting help.

[Ipetam]

BPD, for me, is like having two of me in my brain. The emotional me, and the logical me. They can talk for the most part. But sometimes, its like theres a glass wall between them. They can see eachother but not communicate.
The wolf vs angel entity is really a good description too.
Thank you for making these videos, i never want to be this kind of girlfriend to somebody.

[canadianbacon]

Ironically, the day this video was uploaded (May 1st 2023) I married a beautiful woman who I thought was my best friend and world. I mistakenly thought once the vows were taken that, her symptoms would decrease knowing I had given my life to her. I was so wrong. Within days everything got 10X worse. I couldn’t tell her I loved her enough. I couldn’t hold her, look her in the eyes and say it with anymore conviction. She was hot and cold all summer and into this fall. The more I tried to keep the peace, show love and fix everything she thought was wrong, the worse she got and I was always lying in her mind. She’d make up scenarios where I was doing things I’d never consider doing. The fact that we had just taken vows never entered her mind. I was still a liar and didn’t love her in her mind. Now as I sit here heartbroken just over 6 months later, I’m waiting for my divorce papers. I didn’t understand who I was marrying. I was naive at the age of 47. I’m ashamed to even look at my family who are dumbfounded at a marriage that lasted barely 6 months. The grief and anger at me wasting so much time on someone who won’t listen to anything I say, second guessing my own judgement now like never before, the feeling that I was happy as can be not long ago to, being to the point where I’m falling into my own mental darkness and depression. All I wanted was to fix her and, it’s only at this moment I realize that wasn’t ever possible. She’s completely discarded me now. I have to let her go. What a nightmare. I’m still madly in love with my new wife that I can never be with. Thanks for reading my ramblings and I hope non of you experience this level of pain.

[mickeygklug]

I recently got out of a 15 year relationship with a borderline that included marriage and two beautiful kids. At the start, BPD wasn’t even on my radar screen. Now I feel like an expert. There were days and nights that I felt had aged me years. It’s amazing how resilient the human psyche can actually be.

[TidewaterC]

I dated a woman in her early thirties that told me she was diagnosed with BPD. I met her with when the sweat loveable side was very nice and quickly learned the mean nasty side was horrid and degrading . When mixed with alcohol it because outright scary and I had to end the relationship.

[steveedwards]

This has been helpful. My BPD partner was telling me she loved me every ten minutes one day, the next day, she hated me and threw me out over nothing. We haven't spoken since. three years now.

[vampireslayer]

Lise, I remember asking my BPD girlfriend (before I understood BPD), "What happened to my kind sensitive Clara?" To which dominate Sadistic Clara responded, "She doesn't exist." True story.

[MrFingerz]

I’ve suffered with depression almost my whole life so I understand emotional pain better then most. Dealing with devaluation and getting discarded by my ex with bpd was soul shattering. Nothing I did or tried could stop the devaluation dominos once it triggered. You just watch as the person you thought was the love of your life slowly push you away and replace you like you meant nothing to them.

[markwolfe]

I began dating a woman who's going threw a bad divorce.however even with that she mentioned long struggles with mental health.
The splitting behavior, push and pull, emotional roller coater ride describe this woman.
One day she's incredible the next futile and sabotaging.
What stands out to me is that she doesn't appear to recognize when her negative actions cause others to distance themselves and blames others for these type of scenarios.

[jozsarichard]

I will send this to people who don't understand why I don't date. I don't want to traumatize anyone, that shit is dangerous.

[SerenitybyCrafts]

My boyfriend sent this to me so I could understand what I put him through.
I’m on my journey of healing but I feel very discouraged after reading the comments. I love so hard and have so much love but I was unfortunately taken advantage of by a child in ways that made my brain pathways different from others.

I’m not a bad person, I want to be better. It’s just hard. I’m glad my boyfriend is so supportive of me - he has helped me on my healing journey so, so much. Thank you for making this video.

As someone with BPD, being with someone who has it is not for the weak.
Progress is not a straight line up - just like this video says. But it’s still progress. Peace out ♥️

[keyemjyant]

Miss Leblanc... You are absolutely awesome in describing the exact scenarios of the BPD. Your videos were very helpful to understand the psychology and the steps to be taken. I am with a potential BPD partner and watching your suggestions and procedure really helps me to deal with her. Being someone who is into therapy myself for a different issue, your videos are really helping a lot to cope up and stay sane. Thank you for your excellent service.

[greenpuffzzzz]

This has helped me a lot thank you. I was dating someone with bpd 3 weeks ago. It went from planing a family and future very comfortable loving relationship. To the next day I didn’t know who she was and she left me. completely different person it didn’t make any sense to me. havnt spoke since. I’ve been very confused recently and didn’t understand how someone can do something like that. I knew she had bpd I always helped her through it I have the patience to help her. But I can’t help this time. It’s hard to just stop caring. But in the state she is in at the moment. She dosnt deserve my help or want it. Thank you for helping.

[LivingYouToday]

Thanks for helping me identify what destroyed my marriage. 8 years trying to change myself and meet her expectations....took so many years off my life. Anger and rage completely uncalled for just because I didn't respond to a text within 2 minutes. Always in the wrong. Countless nights having to listen to her vent every little thing I did wrong over the entirety of the marriage again and again and again. Isolated from family and friends, going to see them was likely to trigger her idea I choose them over her. Then back to the highs, great sex all the time, idealization, clingy love and happy. The last month we were together, she told our two kids she didn't love me anymore. The following week asked me for a new wedding ring. The week after that she stabbed all our photos on the walls and our wedding album on my birthday, packs all my bags and shoved me out. Why? Because after an entire week of her chasing me with her anger I eventually said I can't talk about her issues with me anymore that day because I was mentally and emotionally exhausted.

[Truthseekerandteller]

A relief knowing I'm not a narcissist, but I still have BPD. I don't want to be hot and cold 😢....I want to change, why is life so hard

[christopherlittle]

I'm lost trying to figure my wife out. I finally had to get away from her. I love what she is 50% of the time but lord the other. This video is really close to my wife. I actually had to leave because she frustrated me enough one night that I started screaming at her and called her a narcissistic lying C word. That's when I knew I had to go

[ava]

I want to add that not all borderlines flip to aggressive hatred. This doesn’t apply to every borderline. We don’t all flip to aggressive hatred, a lot of the times it’s just immense fear resulting in anger and sadness. but for me for example, i never feel as i hate my partner or they are the root of my issues.