YOU Can't Fix It the Push-Pull In BPD

Are you stuck in a toxic push-pull cycle? Are you wondering if the woman you love has borderline personality disorder, or whether she is a covert narcissist using manipulation tactics and mind games to control you? Are you hoping and praying that her push-pull behaviour is due to something else? In this video, I explain 10 of the most common reasons why she keeps pushing you away, as well as when you should just walk away.

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About Lise Leblanc
Lise Leblanc is a Therapist, Life Coach, and Author with over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.

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DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. All content is for general information purposes only and does not replace a mental health care of consultation with a health professional.

If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:

Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) In Canada: 1.833.456.4566
Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.
Reach out to a loved one, trusted friend.
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR MENTAL HEALTH CARE.

Introduction (0:00)
Push-Pull (0:40)
1: Personality Disorder (2:20)
2: Past Trauma (3:07)
3: Resentment (4:02)
4: Playing Games (4:55)
5: Narcissist! (5:28)
6: Not Into You (6:11)
7: Pressure (6:43)
8: Following Your Lead (7:28)
9: Red Flags (7:48)
10: Bringing Up Her Issues (8:19)
How Push-Pull Works (9:22)

#borderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpd #narcissist #narcissism

[hawkspirals]

OMG u've nailed my ex- she would push me away, sexually, spiritually, emotionally, then punish me later for doing what she asked; it was maddening and led to some severe health consequences for me

[carlitobrigante]

In my experience, merely suggesting that someone get 'help' simply made them indignant and resentful. As a friend put it: 'Someone who is not willing to help themselves, is someone who is not worth waiting for.'

[DanHale-ig]

Wow! You just described my recent ex, exactly! This video helped me so much just now.. One minute my gf was surprising me that I was going to be a dad and telling me how excited she was to be the mother of my children and then she pulled back the next day ghosting me for 2 weeks.. and when I started to worry and ask what was going on.. she just dumped me over text so abruptly and then says “and I’m not pregnant btw, if that’s what you’re worried about”. To have the love of my life throw me away like garbage when I was always such a good man to her, just tore my heart out.. At least your video gives me some kind of answers or closure of some sort. Thank you 🙏🏼

[ryanw]

“Or maybe because you DO have some major red flags” is the best part of this video 😂 Love the honesty, Lise. You’re putting some amazing resources out here for men. Thank you!

[GodHelpMe]

When there’s a disagreement,
someone will inevitably,
most likely,
be disappointed in me...

So I engage in any and every disagreement

in a way that ensures,
that the person disappointed in me,
never ends up being me!

I aim to never repress,
never suppress.

I aim to never lose a part of myself.

Radical honesty only:
100% of the time.

Always,

all ways.

[kieranmaher]

Ahhh man. Most of this is definitely my wife. I tried so hard to love her, and I’d always be met with trauma and drama in the end. I should of left when she refused treatment, but I was just way in over my head. I feel sad for my wife. In the end, she discarded me and said all kinds of awful things about me. I know she knows it’s not the truth, but I hope she finds the courage to reach out for the treatment she needs someday.
Thanks so much for your great perspective on this profile and situation.

[LlamaOates]

Thank you Lise for tackling this subject. Empathetic men really do get hung out to dry and suffer alone. Your videos have helped shine a light in an abusive part of society which goes unrecognised.

One of the mind blowing things I realised after my darling BPD ditched me when she lost her control over me, was not that after 17years I had discovered what BPD was and all the seemingly random events weren't random but when I watched a video that pointed out how I had been attracted to this behaviour from the beginning due to my childhood experiences.

My whole life had been like a airport runway for NPDs with no sooner had current one torched me on the way out the next one was lining me up to dock.

Now through your research and videos I have been able to break the old cycle and open my life up and let more balanced people in.

[HeeBeeGB]

I love Lise. She explains these disorders at a level that makes so much sense.

[pedrokarstguimaraes]

I had a long relation to an covert narcissist and borderline. Everything is exactly as you described.

[brockshen]

You are doing a really good job on this channel at explaining and categorizing the problems of the entire modern society.

[aquious]

It was torture for me. She destroyed my will. Im still not the same, probably never will be.

[Socoolral]

It’s like my life was scripted and you realize reading the script. Thank you Lise stay healthy and safe inside your body 😉🤙🏼

[carolentringer]

1. The person has a cluster b personality disorder.
2. Past trauma
3. Resentment
4. it is a game to play.
5. She is a narcissist or sociopath and you are no longer giving her supply.
6. She’s just not that into you but you are providing some benefits.
7. She feels that you are too clingy.
8. She is responding to your push-pull signals.
9. She is noticing some red flags in you.
10. You’re noticing and bringing up her issues.

[MortenChristensen-ttup]

Any significant push pull without communication is simply manipulation. It’s important to detach quickly from people that do this and focus on yourself and the healthy people in your life.
My experience is that this is not fixable.

[Jayive]

A lot of borderlines never attach. Sometimes they get gone quick

[davidsavage]

So glad I found you! Having gone through this for over two years, I can attest that everything you say is spot on! Thank you!

[drstrangelove]

Fascinating to read these messages, coherent and well written by long suffering, good, caring men. The painful lesson from my nightmare is don’t try to be a white knight, you can’t cure her, get out as soon as you can before it destroys you and wastes years of your life. The hard fact is, you cannot win or cure a BPD woman . It’s as simple as that gentlemen. Thank you so much Lise, I found your work by accident, sadly after I needed it most, but it was nevertheless extremely valuable to me, as it is to everyone else here.

[risingeagle]

Where were you in 1987?

I married Miss Jekyll-Hyde back in 1987. I tried everything for 3 decades. Nothing worked and then she up and suddenly abandoned me in 2018.

Her Scorch earth campaign was devastatingly effective. I spent 4 years putting myself back together. I was not prepared for the “Trauma Bond Withdrawals”.

I always called her “Jekyll-Hyde” for years, and did not become aware of the Cluster B disorders and Narcissist until after she left.

Thanks for sharing. You are totally correct in everything you expressed.

I survived Sociopathic Vulnerable Narcissist who is also a Borderline and Histrionic. She was a nightmare. My beliefs and upbringing kept me in an abusive relationship.

There are no resources for men, and the legal system is stacked against the husband.

Its a marvel that I am not in a psychiatric ward. She weaponized everything and often used “silent treatment, triangulation, manipulation, exploitation, the police, family, friends and so on to do her bidding.

Every time I got ready to escape, she found ways to get other to help keep me hooked in her snare.

I felt I was a man who follow Alice in To Nightmare Wonderland; then I got stuck in Rabbit Holes everywhere.

Not easy to escape.

Glad she is gone from my life now.

Keep sharing and explaining; the right knowledge is power. I wish I had this information back in 1987.

“Tell people to ALWAYS watch out for the RED FLAGS🚩 & do not ignore them.”

I did…..paid dearly for it. Narcissistic Women expertly use “Love-Bombing” (like a ‘Succubus”) to keep you conflicted and contused.

She knew when to be nice, whenever I got fed up with her madness.

Sucked!!!!

✌🏽

[jamesgerboc]

Your insight, intuition and intellect are truly amazing. Sometimes I feel you are the only one who gets this. Thanks for verbalizing and validating our disordered version of love.

[Bibleinformationandhelp]

I think that is so strange. They want to be loved, but at the same time they are terrified of it.