Don’t feel guilty about NOT spending time with energy vampires

This week's question comes in from Erika who feels guilty when she avoids spending time with friends and relatives who are energetically draining. This video addresses why we should not feel guilty about not spending time with energy vampires and also how to identify an energy vampire.

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[Marina-vleu]

I've cut out all toxic, manipulative, complaining people and those who only used me. Now, it's 3 years I'm alone. All alone. I'm not happy, but at least, I have peace.

[poncho]

Seriously they drain you and then run a guilt trip on you

[devika]

1. After conversation ask yourself whether you feel uplifted or drained.

[Nicole-fbfr]

People that always repeate the same conversation over and over again are energy vampires! So draining and annoying!

[lasya]

Most of the vampires are from family and friends.!! That's the hell part of the story!!

[tdollarzyahoo]

Crazy thing is I can feel people's energy without them saying anything. Some are so overwhelming that its piercing being in the same space as them. I don't let it lower my vibrations though.
#StayHigh

[redwoods]

My cousin who is my age...she wore me out with constantly needing my sympathy for her many problems. Never cared about my problems. We are not close anymore.

[lexuscarrington]

My mom, has drained me my whole life. I would love to have a close relationship with her but she refuses to work on her emotional health. So for self care I keep a healthy distance away.

Great video.,

[JoDo]

You must 100% stay away from negative people. Find happy positive people.

[jadedchick.]

I am sad to say that I have been an energy vampire. I was going through a difficult time. I’m glad to hear Dandapani say that it happens. Forgiving myself as I hope my family and friends will.

[opendoors]

Guilt...or worse, shame -- that you're _a bad person_ if you don't give your energy over. Finally allowing myself to get firm on this. Not easy, because it doesn't fit in with the self-concept I've maintained for myself, which is to be kind to everyone. That said, I don't want to help people at my own expense. In fact, I am increasingly interested in taking care of myself first and foremost, partly because I like myself a lot more these days than I probably ever have before.

[prettypuffprincess]

I’m a INFJ empath so people dump all of their blues on to me🙄🥴I never bring any of my problems to anyone, and I only offer my best! Having an optimistic mindset makes people believe you don’t have any problems, so as soon as they see you or call you here comes the BLUES 🥴 Leave me alone👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[danchung]

Asian philosophies/religions often put too much emphasis on sacrificing oneself for others to the degree where tolerating abuse/exploitation is exalted as noble / compassionate / selfless, etc. So, this video helps A LOT! Thanks so much!!!

[amenlion]

People that talk alot about nothing can be energy vampires also

[laylamay]

My answer to the question: You are right in walking away and distancing yourself from someone who is toxic. The guilt part however could be from codependency on needing another's confirmation, validation or approval of you. You feel guilty, because you feel like you owe another person your time etc. and you are doubting yourself in your decision to walk away. Maybe it's time to take a look at how often your have a tendency to look for the outside world to validate you. Once you no longer need another person to approve of your decisions, your validation is enough...you no longer feel guilty, therefore the toxic person no longer has power over you and your emotions.

[Crazy_Humorous]

I have a friend, whenever we talk, she is sick, has this and this, is tired from work, or has some other problem. She is a negative hole.

[elainebmack]

I have no contact with any of my family members for this reason. I don't owe anyone my energy or my life. These things are mine to give and share, but at my discretion.

[mariannewolf]

I just recently realized that WE ARE RESPONSIBLE for our own happiness. Being raised Catholic, I spent decades trying to (love and)- please everyone around me at my own cost. No wonder I felt exhausted most of my life. Thanks a lot for this very helpful video-
peace to you and yours.

[icannotpretend]

I USED to have many energy vamps in my life and the more i focused on "fixing the situations" the more they grew. Once I decided that Im the only one who controls my energy and made a serious decision to only say what I Honestly believe and mean and say it in a natural calm way. Speak the way I normally talk. No decorating it to "meet their needs" or be at their level. I am supposed to talk the way I talk and since its truthful and natural none of them can find a problem with it no matter how much they try. And i can tell, they are trying so hard to get me to say or do what they want. Since I don't get mad and I MOVE ON after I've clearly stated my truthful belief like an adult, they just give up. Im not going to pretend that they are making sense when they aren't. Im not going to be rude either. Just making sure Im speaking my MIND HONESTLY has changed what used to be dreaded encounters into empowering experiences.