Watch this to never feel guilty again | Mel Robbins

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If your holiday traditions include a guilt trip from your family— you need to watch this.

Guilt only works if you allow it to affect you. So the next time your parents are trying to guilt trip you— don’t buy a ticket. Reframe the conversation by calling them out.

Have you started getting the holiday guilt trip yet? Let me know in the comments.

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[piperdraconi]

Guilt tripping is not love in disguise, it’s fear of abandonment, and a reactionary response to the potential loss of control, over the victim.

[aquamarynqa]

Over the years I came to the realization that other people's expectations are not my responsibility. It gets tough at times, especially with the people I love, but at the end of the day it's worth it. It still upsets me sometimes, but not doing things against myself is more important than pleasing others, even family.

[viviane_casella]

Sorry, Mel, but guilt tripping is not an expression love. Instead, it's an expression of enmeshment and control. It's very dangerous to romantize those behaviors, real love makes you feel good about yourself and free to do what's best for you. Where there's demands and drama like that, love went out of the window.

[InnerVisionStudios]

So many people deal with this family guilt so this is well needed. Thanks for sharing Mel!

[GaminGawdess]

Mel. This vid was the “a-ha” moment I needed. My family was masters at this and it resulted in not so cool life changing results. I have been trying to figure out for 11 years why people guilt and why people never speak up. I witnessed my mom go to an early grave never speaking up and I vowed to be the generational curse breaker. I knew what I was doing was the right thing by standing up and speaking out. Lord did it eat at me like a virus. Well I finally got the peace I was seeking. Woman if I ever see you on the street I am giving you the biggest grateful and most loving doubled arm squeeze hug you can imagine. Thank you and love you, your crew and all you do!!!💋❤️😍

[EllyKallan]

Guilt is a way for parents to manipulate you. Needs to be addressed in a loving way.

[pamelac.]

What the?! Guilt is disguised as love?!?!? Are you kidding me?! That is soooo wrong. It's called, emotional abuse. A healthy relationship has boundaries, boundaries that are respected. Guilt is no way used in a healthy relationship.

[BigBoyBlue]

Finally! Real adult wisdom on this topic. Cutting people off is the easy answer that fixes nothing. I want to actually fix this stuff with the people that are important to me. I appreciate you.

[ChristopherBucklein]

Parents use guilt usually because they have an invest in you as a child and expect something in return. That's why it's so mandatory to become independent as soon as possible to net let your parents lead your life.

[felicitys]

My experience with a narcissistic parent tells me this doesn’t apply to them. ☹️

[kerrythomson]

I like kindness and genuine connection between people. Thank you

[Ilovevintage]

Thank you for this refreshing perspective. I am chronically ill and it debilitates me leaving me out of most events such as travel birthdays holidays because I’m just so chronically ill the pain inhibits me badly trust me I go to every single doctor under the sun I’ve had surgeries I’ve been hospitalized I work at my health every single day people have no idea what goes on behind the scenes even though I’ve tried gently to explain the severity of my health situation. Husbands family they have the gift of health and the ability to show up. They have tried to guilt us with statements like “aunt so-and-so is getting older she’s not gonna be around so much anymore“ or “are you coming to the wedding or not it’s only Teresa‘s most special day of her entire life“ even though my husband and I did go to a small ceremony for Teresa and her husband last year at the height of the pandemic. I’m tired of this guilt I’m tired of these guilt trips I don’t want to go on them anymore and my husband is a passive non-confrontational person who feels really uncomfortable and I guess doesn’t want to damage the relationship or kick up any dust but I think it makes a lot of sense what you’re saying that his family is expressing that they want to see us through guilt the problem is that seeing us and being reliable and being present and showing up or not gifts that I can give anybody anymore that is not the kind of support that I can offer. We can absolutely support an offer congratulations we can offer physical gifts I can offer emotional support but Because of my illness being reliable and actually physically showing up is not some thing that is a guarantee anymore and I feel absolutely devastated and depressed over it I cannot control my body believe me I want to it saddens me deeply that I cannot contribute and participate in family events like I used to years ago it is horribly depressing and then to have people try to guilt you on top of it so I’ve been really trying to work on this and understand how to free myself of this how to explain to people that my illness is not my fault and that I need their understanding and then I will try to support them in any other ways that do not Physically being there and that it has absolutely nothing to do with them or my love for them or my caring for them. Being chronically ill and being sick all the time and not feeling well is so difficult on its own and then all the complexities that come along with family members being annoying and insensitive. Thank you for your help on this I need to continue to set boundaries and to lovingly address my husbands family so that they continue to understand that I do love them and then it’s not within my control and I do want to support them and love them in the ways that I can within my health abilities

[ellefonzarelli]

A lot of ppl do this to control. And sometimes guilt works because you’ve been taught to hate yourself by your parents. This over simplified guilt.

[aparajitain]

Not always the case. Sometimes ppl just want u to feel guilty. There's no love. Typical scene in Indian community. The daughter in law made to feel guilty for spending more time at her parents home ( which IS her home!). I have been in that situation and completely broke out of it. No regrets whatsoever.

[Samanthasosa-iq]

Thank you so much I totally needed this as the holidays approach . I get guilted and bribed into going to events with toxic abusers literally people who physically abused me ! My gift to myself at age 44 this season is the gift of saying no and if I can do without guilty and consequences even better !

[JN-goyq]

I'm the adult kid that makes my parents try and feel guilty. I'm very open about my need to see them for more quality time. As we both live in different countries, and they are getting older.. I now understand why they physically find travel hard.

[olorato]

This made me cry😢😭. Communication has been hard between my mom and I lately. I'm not giving up hope though.

[productiveyou]

It's important to note that there's a difference between making *yourself* feel guilty and your parents making you feel guilty.

The latter hasn't really been a problem for me. But myself, I put a lot of pressure on myself and have a lot of self induced guilt

[ArdelleVision]

Weird weird weird. I was just lying in bed thinking about how my parents make me feel guilty...then 💥 out of no where this video is posted.😳

[athlsquadgaming]

Guilt feeling is really really important you are best person if you feel guilty on your mistakes .
~vijitraghuwanshi