Foster parent placement call question to ask

Share this with a new foster parent⬆️

Removals can be really chaotic, workers are tasks with huge case loads, and yes, sometimes mistakes happen. By asking for the birth date you may uncover a wrong age or notice an upcoming birthday.

I hear from families often that these things are happening, so I hope this small change can help prevent. 💛

Have you encountered this situation or something similar? Let me know in the comments below!⬇️

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[wildcat]

The inflection in your voice when you said "today is his birthday." I know this is a skit but it is so clearly something you've dealt with before. Those poor kids. Thank you for caring ❤

[alley]

OMG this hits so hard. My siblings and i were taken into custody on my 11th birthday. We were staying in a hotel room and had just gotten a chocolate cake from the grocery store. We didn't even get a chance to cut the cake before we had to get all of our cloths into trash bags and go live with strangers all in different homes. You are so amazing. No one knew or cared birthday's have hunted me ever since. 😢

[shakedatass]

as a child of abuse, these break me. but i love them. i wish so badly i had someone like you in my life. i think i wouldve turned out a lot better. thank you for being a mother to those who have nobody.

[Jojo_jomo]

My foster sister, I jokingly wish her a happy birthday on both June and July 2nd. By the time we met her around 15/16, she had a pretty good sense of humor about things. She laughed as she told us the system had her birthday wrong so she had been celebrating her birthday a month late for years until she saw her birth certificate…I didn’t know this was common.

[Chelssums]

Why i love this is because growing up in an unstable home myself, the worst things that happened would always happen on special days. That’s just how it was. Big family fights, random case worker visits, etc.

[salliepotts]

I know someone who'd never had a birthday party- I think he'd never had a cake either- until his first birthday with the foster parents who later adopted him. He'd been in other foster homes and was with his birth mother several years before that.💔

[amypearsall]

It's a shame (oversight if you will) that caseworkers wouldn't tell you it's the child's birthday, esp. if you are just receiving the child into your home.

[Coldnfallen]

As a mom that was fighting a DV situation and had her child taken into care while things were straightened out, thank you. My daughter was so loved in someone else's care. She deserved the best, and I'm so lucky they had it for her.

People like you are the reason our kids have the stability to rebound from horrible situations. Bless you.

[MissMollysMumNz]

In the sea of comments you probably won't see this but as a former foster child, I thank you for all the beautiful things you do for those children that come to stay ❤ You are exactly what they need

[CountessDorkulaLOL]

I... I went into foster care on my birthday 14 years ago and when I say the heartbreak in your voice made me tear up. My foster family treated me like crap and I was sent back to my abusive mom shortly later. I am SO glad people like you exist <3

[carmelgraham-williams]

I knew someone who had emergency foster placements. They always had an once cream cake on standby in case this happened.

[MeaganSal]

Every child deserves to have their birthday celebrated. Hell, every adult too if they want

[wandalester]

If it wasn't for a foster home at four years old. I wouldn't know what a hug with love and security felt like. I was only in this home for 24 hours. That hug has helped me all these years. I am 71 now.

[itsmeseanie]

I was in the foster care system as a young child and the experience was horrible. Seeing foster parents like this who treat their children like human beings instead of commodities gives me hope and heals some of that pain associated with those memories. To all the loving and caring foster parents like this out there: thank you for all you do, truly ❤

[jaxtothemax]

I was being placed with my now adopted dad 2 days before my birthday, I was turning 14 and he made sure that I got to celebrate in a way I never had before. That was almost 6 years ago now and bc of him doing that for me I now love my birthday… it feels worth celebrating. Please keep up the good work!

[lizmoser]

That... Would be the worst birthday ever. Bless you for doing something to make it a little easier on that kiddo

[therockbottom]

Poor (hypothetical, but based in fact) baby.. we need more enrichment in foster care so foster parents don’t have to learn to ask this question by going through it too many times.

[gabeangel]

This hits hard. My partner was taken into care on her birthday and it's taken years of me making sure her birthday is always a prioritised day to help her begin to heal. It seems from reading some of the comments here that it isn't an uncommon experience. My thoughts go out to every person who has experienced this as part of their trauma history. I hope you have enough positive birthday experiences to gradually heal too

[lyreleaf]

This hits home a little too hard 😭 I was removed from my mom's custody just before my birthday, and my foster family made sure I felt nothing but love when I got there. It was the first time I'd had a party with cake, presents, etc (my birth family was JW). It's been over 20 years since I left foster care, but I still hold them close to my heart ❤️ foster parents really make such a difference for the kids that need it the most!

[briannawhite]

I used yo work in adult education. I had a student who had been in foster care. While he was my student he turned 19. He had been living in a group home after a stay in the hospital. The staff bought him a cake and the other residents all celebrated together. He was so excited telling me this because it was the first time he had ever celebrated his birthday.