5 Signs You're Not Ready To Date (Or Be In A Relationship)

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[williamt]

I think the biggest one that I struggle with is expecting the other person to bring me endless happiness like they’re a god or something.

[TSierra]

I’m not ready at the moment. I want to improve myself first mentally and physically. I’m going to start going to the gym, eating healthy, improving my fashion and saving money. I want to be at my best and I’m no where near that yet.

[strat]

0:28 1. You are bitter or angry.
3:08 2. You are not fully over someone else.
4:25 3. You are emotionally unavailable or immature.
5:44 4. You do not want to put in the work or effort.
7:35 5. You are not willing to compromise.

[Courtney-Alice-Gargani]

Relationship takes works on the man and woman. It's a two way street. There's always something you don't like about someone. Maybe you're neat and the other person is messy.

[ATLBraves]

Spot on! I was bitter for awhile about how my last relationship ended.

Went on a Tinder date recently where my date told me she still had feelings and “would always” have feelings for her ex. Yeah that didn’t last.

[planbsponserme]

I’m single and have finally gotten to a point in my life where I desire to be in a long term relationship, but I’m tired of first dates and spending money in the process for it to not end up anywhere. That’s the most discouraging part for me.

[danielscallon]

I've been very bitter and lonely for a long time, definitely within the first category. One thing that I've found that helps with this is establishing hobbies and activities that still provide a social life.

[micheilstewart]

I always get told by people “I have high standards”. I feel there are something that shouldn’t be compromised on. For example, I think have a common worldview is an important pillar in a relationship. Also, dating with same intentions is extremely important as well.

[cesarcorral]

Oh my goodness i needed this. Just got divorced and need to heal. All my guy friends are talking up the single life and trying to get me to ask out every girl around. I'm just not there yet. I dont want to waste my time or any girls time.

[bobbyrebholz]

I just went through a (thankfully) peaceful divorce after eight years. I have two kids and I'm living alone again just trying to be a good dad. Although there are periods of loneliness, I'm convinced, for me at least, that the single life is way better. I'm 42 and I now know that marriage just isn't for me. Will I meet someone special in the future when I can barely walk? Maybe. But I love the way it is now. I finally feel free again and can be ME. No walking on egg shells anymore.

[IaconDawnshire]

Last time I was in a relationship was roughly 8 years ago. I havent been on a date since then. It's also incredible hard to persue relationships when you have ASD.

[Lew_]

I can honestly say I’m the happiest I’ve ever been since childhood. I’m currently going to school to become a Nurse and I just picked up a summer job. Granted I’m only 20, but I battled a-lot of demons and project my own misery onto others during my teenage years. Lost a lot of friends and my attitude strongly affected my relationship with my mother. I graduated high school in 2021 and during Covid I became a stress eater. I stopped being an asshole but the weight just packed on. I graduated 185 pounds . 4 months ago I weighed in at 235. That must of been my magical number because I completely overhauled my diet and started working out for the first time. In these past 4 months, I’ve lost 22.5 pounds and this morning I weighed myself at 212.5 pounds. I feel absolutely amazing and I’m also starting to to see muscle definition appear in my upper body, which I’ve never had before. So mentally, I crossed all these points off in your video. I just feel like holding off on dating still and working on my physical health and college. Granted I’m open to the idea, just not a obsessively pursuing it. About a month or two back my mom talked to me about all my positive changes that have I have made. She told me this is the happiest she seen me I a very long time and that it finally feels like she has her son back🥹

[robertgill]

This is great Courtney. The points you make that resonated the most with me were not getting over a previous crush and not commiting to improve myself. I feel like both of these reasons to varying degrees are holding me back in the dating game.

[Whatsacody]

I just got out of a relationship where I was told my efforts never counted or never mattered. All she cared about was being taken on dates, but not about how much I put in around our apartment or to keep us going (e.g., cooking, cleaning, etc.). Then she would tell me it was my fault, but she never did anything to support me. It's so hard to hear the effort example though for some reason cause I still feel like maybe I actually wasn't putting in enough effort, but I put in so much for so long and then when I needed the support for real, she blamed me further.

[Jazzmaster]

Good points. Far too many people bounce around between partners because they can't stand the thought of being alone, yet they haven't really done the internal work required to make relationships last. I get that it's rough out there, but there is an aspect of individual contributions to those situations most of the time. At the end of the day, it seems like people who are ready to date and willing to put in the effort will make it happen with the right person. If you're not really ready for it, even if you say to others that you are, it's unlikely to really work out and you're better off waiting until it's actually time.

[backpackingtony]

49 here and never had a relationship. Ever. I’m the textbook definition of a man child. I purposely avoid dating, meeting others even flirting. Simply because I’d make a horrible partner. Id rather play video games, travel and work out. As you said Courtney I’m way too emotionally immature and the thought of a partner is like a second job. I don’t want to put in the effort at all. The thought is like having to get a route canal. I’m also way too selfish to compromise. The difference is I know all this. I feel like I’m doing everyone a service by not dating.

[ollysombrero]

"evaluate it"👌
Listen to her! If you refuse to process your emotions, they will linger on. For years. You'll get stuck without realizing it. That's how you get those bitter middle-aged people with chronic dead eyes. Do NOT suppress a breakup or a rejection or a fight. Cry, scream into a pillow, then calm down, think, learn and if you can't seem to get it out of you, get help like she said. LISTEN TO HER! sheesh...

[Shah-of-the-Shinebox]

I haven't dated since 2011 and now I realized I wasn't ready to date then.

Dating is hard and not worth the effort anymore but of others want to jump in the dating pool, this is great advice.

[Mario]

Thank you ×1000 Courtney! This is pure gold. So much pain could be avoided if we were to follow some of this advice. ❤🙏🏼🤜🏽

[petehart]

WOW - Tough love today! JUST what we need to hear. This may be your best video Courtney, these are all very important. I think I pass the test, but I am going to rethink again how I am doing in all these areas. Courtney, thank you for telling us the hard truths, but in such a kind and respectful way and not being critical. You really encourage me! THANK YOU