3 Signs You're Not Ready For A Relationship, But Want One

Do you have any commitment issues when it comes to a relationship? If so, then this video could be for you. There are many ways for you to get ready for a relationship, even if you feel not ready. You can assess your expectations, communicate them with your potential partner, you can check whether you have self-esteem issues to deal with, anxiety or depression. You can also check whether you are still stuck on an ex. Knowing the factors that hold you back from committing to a relationship could help you start taking the steps needed to get ready.

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Writer: Clarisse Delos Reyes
Editor: Michal Mitchell
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Youtube Manager: Cindy Cheong

REFERENCE:

Spielmann, S. S., MacDonald, G., & Wilson, A. E. (2009). On the rebound: focusing on someone new helps anxiously attached individuals let go of ex-partners. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 35(11), 1382-1394.

Campbell, L., & Wright, J. D. (2015). The Science of Relationships: Answers to Your Questions about Dating, Marriage, and Family. Oxford University Press.

[NarcSurvivor]

You’re thinking about having a relationship. But maybe you don’t have the time or you haven’t met the right person. But that doesn’t mean you don’t desire to have one.

[ALT-vzjn]

It’s much better to be single than to be in a bad relationship.

When I left my abusive ex-husband I stayed single for several years, focused on working on my own issues and attending therapy to understand why I would let abusive people like him into my life. Once I felt ready it was a whole different game, I felt confident in my skills and attitude that I would be able to avoid the ‘red flag’ people. Eventually I met and married my husband; we have a very happy marriage, 8 years now 🥰 it took 10 years and a lot of work on myself, but eventually I got there. I’m saying this to let you know it’s okay not to stress yourself out with a timeline - I needed all that time because I had a lot of trauma stuff to process.

[taylorstratford]

I want another relationship so badly. But my last relationship made me realize I loved all the wrong people. I loved people who only used me.
So, now I'm very cold and distant. But my heart yearns to be held again.

[trinitxx]

I desire relationships but not now. I just need to be healed

[PCCphoenix]

I'm tired of waiting to get into a relationship and feel as if I've waited too long already, but ongoing personal issues and extenuating circumstances have continued to prevent me from pursuing one. In my case in particular, it's a no-win. This is one of too many cases where I have had no choice but to accept the unacceptable.

[Aan]

Timestamps
1). You have unrealistic expectations 0:44
2). You have not fully addressed your personal issues 2:24
3). You are still emotionally attached to your ex 3:30

Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[shoonbangers]

#2 is what really sticks to me

I used to think that being in a relationship could solve my problems and get rid of my insecurities. But I found out that the opposite was true, the hard way. I ended up rushing things and things fell apart quickly. If only I knew this beforehand

[TaforSmth]

As someone who's first relationship ended horribly and lasted a month: its rough out here, sometimes it feels like you're ready but it's also possible to confuse it for just wanting attention (at least for me personally) it sucks but it gets easier with time.

[mentalwellnessdaily]

"Relationships are not a solution to personal problems" . Life is hard and some people may not know how to deal with their personal struggles, relying on a partner instead and thinking all will be solved. But when someone gets into a relationship for the wrong reasons, it makes it difficult for it to succeed. When you're happy being with you, then others will be happier to be with you.

[RetroManiac]

I always feel conflicted when videos say that you should work on yourself before entering a relationship. Now, I obviously agree that self care and self improvement are good things to do, but when people say you should work on yourself before a relationship, I always wonder what exactly they mean. Is there a point where you can say "Well, I've now improved myself enough to be ready for a relationship"? How exactly would you quantify that?

For me, I have issues with self-esteem and feeling lonely in life, as well as anger issues, and aside from the anger issues, I know for a fact that my issues are at least partly due to the fact that I've never had a girlfriend. So, in other words, I genuinely believe that some of my problems would be resolved by having one. I also always hear people say that "I'd rather be alone than in a toxic relationship." Now, I agree with that, but for me at least, you know what's also true? I'd rather be in a HEALTHY relationship than be alone.

Look, I know that rushing into a relationship is a bad idea, and that you shouldn't solely rely on a partner for happiness, but at the same time, not having a partner or a good friend is exactly why I'm, at least partially, not happy with my life. So to me, the "work on yourself" advice, while not necessarily bad, just doesn't completely work for me. Of course, while I want a relationship, I will take some time to consider the pros and cons, as well as try and work on myself along the way, and of course, I would still work on myself even while in one.

Sorry for the long comment, I just really wanted to give my take on the "work on yourself" advice that many people give.

[_wok_]

God showed me I wasn't ready for a relationship. It sucks to let her go. But I'm slowly getting over it. It sucks but it's a learning lesson

[blasting_ff_to_jupiter]

Yall always post what im exactly thinking about

[yangenmanuel]

If you go to a grocery store hungry, you will grab the wrong things. Same thing with relationships

[starrnanigans]

Number two felt like the biggest one. But the problem is, at least with my self esteem, a good part of that comes from the fact that I’ve been rejected by every attempt at a relationship so far. It’s starting to seep into my friendships a little, too, seeing them interact with each other and/or their partners more than anyone interacts with me. It’d be nice to actually feel wanted, because my self esteem stems from the thought of, “Clearly nobody likes me enough to stick around or reach out.” Having someone show me they genuinely want to spend time with me, without me always having to ask first, would do wonders for my self-esteem. But you can’t make people want to spend time with you; you can’t make other people do anything, really. It’s a very vicious and disheartening cycle.

[strangeosyndro]

I agree with all of this. There's a caveat here too. Accept that noone (not even yourself) are perfect. You will slip into old habits when triggered, we all do it. Especially if you've been through trauma. The key is to be honest with yourself and your partner about how you feel. This video isn't saying suppress your emotions and that you should be 100% self reliant. This is about learning to acknowledge your individual foibles and triggers and already have a toolbox of mental strategies etc you can use when you have a psychological break. Yes partners can support you but here's the thing noone is anyone's crutch. That's unhealthy. Leaning on each other is fine but that's sharing the weight and responsibility therein. (Just btw I learnt this the hard way again and again so I'm no expert 🤣 I suck at relationships honestly 🤣) a couple that can slay together equally stays together. If you feel too unstable to accept yourself and learn to carry your baggage, think of it this way, that's like handing your partner all your baggage and expecting them to carry all that plus theirs. Is that fair and would they break their Back? If you work out a balance and are honest with yourself you might say, *Hey I am sorry I struggle carrying X thing, I'd appreciate the support" and then when your partner is struggling with something in their baggage, assist them carrying that and so on. Coupling is a partnership. If you love yourselves and each other you'll want to assist each other. You just have to not expect them to carry your baggage, that's yours but when you're struggling someone you love can take the weight temporarily allowing you to take a moment and carry it again when you're not off balance if that makes sense.

[shyper]

"Do you think you're ready for a relationship, or do you think you need more time?"

I don't think when it comes to these things. I just start developing feelings for someone and then see what happens. I just think that waiting to be ready will make you less ready over time, as well as kill your desire. You need expereience for everything, but to get experience you need to do that everything.

[Jeonghanstoenail]

Why is this soo underrated, this vid is sooo helpfull

[aquashuriken]

Lol this videos been out for only 17 seconds and there are already people saying "how is this so underrated" and "how does this only have 250 views". Fellas, just chill 😂

[KiallVunMyeret]

Aren't 1 and 2 contradictory?
We need to have realistic expectations and accept our potential partner will have flaws but at the same time we need to make sure we don't have any flaws left before we start.
I'm afraid if i have to wait untill all my issues are resolved i'm either never going to be ready or that by the time i will be ready nobody is going to want me cause my inexperience in love.
It just feels hopeless

[FynePrntWilliamsMUSC]

Unrealistic expectations can ruin a good thing before it has a chance. You'll never appreciate real life if everything you're after is something you saw on tv or social media. Behind the scenes footage and bloopers are real life. The highlight reels only capture the best moments.