Hoovering | When the narcissist comes back

In this video you’ll learn about the concept of “hoovering” and how narcissists try to pull you back in after you leave them or even after they discard you. You’ll discover the 3 tests that manipulators like narcissists will use to try to engage you again. Stay tuned to find out what the most common hoovering traps are.

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NOTE: Meredith Miller is not a therapist or counselor. She is a holistic integration coach, helping you to self-heal and transform your life after narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. Meredith teaches the mindsets and tactical skills to help with recovery. She works with a mind-body-spirit approach to wellness that is a valuable complement to traditional psychotherapy. Meredith recommends that you also seek out a licensed therapist who has experience with narcissistic abuse and relational trauma in order to help you with the complex-PTSD symptoms. Thank you for taking responsibility for yourself!

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End Screen Credits:
📸Photography by Kelsey Smith Photography

[legitKwit]

I get my own closure. Once I find out they mess with my peace, their done. My closure is paying my bills, exercising at the gym, finding new love.... see ya. I just bought a house. Leveling up is a great way to get closure. Leave them in the dust. Start a new hobby.. hiking, running, going keto, get a dog, start learning a new language. Do things to improve your life! Building you up will deflect from their attempts to undermine you. NO CONTACT!!!

[MicheleHolt]

Last time we spoke a week ago he told me I was the dumbest person he ever met and not to call him again. Saturday I got 11 phone calls all blocked. He even called from a private number. Nope. I deserve better. Game Over.

[Traceyi]

Closure will never ever happen.
Zero contact is the only way.

[shack]

Amazing how predictable these people are and how they use the same tactics.

[Taistelukalkkuna]

No closure, no revenge, just want be left in peace and live my own life. I don´t respond in any way, because I know that any response is what fuels them to try again.

[christeltillman]

Last night it was "All I ever wanted was my family... " today it's "You are crazy. Such a unhappy person."...
This is

[suzihazlove]

Revenge keeps you from healing. And causes more personal drama.

[erakkovaatainen]

He hoovered me after 4 months, I just started my 5th of No Contact. I am not answering, I do him same as he did me, SILENT TREATMENT!!!

[andimagallon]

I'm binge watching these. I got out of that relationship a year ago but just realized they were a covert narc & very high on the narc scale. Watching these videos is so healing for me bc it just confirms that I wasn't crazy.

[MrCordycep]

"I just want the best for you..." Oh dear, how many times I have heard that, and "everything I do is for your benefit."

[jsmitala]

It really is heroin withdrawal. I’m on day 27 and have resisted so much intense hoovering

[proplayer]

I literally had a missed call from my narcissist partner while watching this video, after 3 weeks without contact .. and I hung up . Its feels so good 👌👌😂😂

[asiyasparkles]

Another thing that a narc will do if you resist, is get your family on board, or even friends [your own!]. I was completely nonplussed when my own family [who had previously understood he was bad news] begged me to be 'kind', and give him another chance, he was so heartbroken. I was completely bull dozed by my own family, who then went on to abandon me, and take his side on pretty much everything. I will never trust anyone when it comes to how a person makes me feel except for my instincts. It cost me so badly. =/

[WakeUpToCash]

I grew up in a narcissistic family, and it was one of the hardest life experiences. This is a breath of fresh air my friend! Thank you!

[katemiller]

When I finally had enough as the scapegoat and was basically uninvited from my families vacation. I moved out while they were gone. Unfortunately I couldn't bring my cat which was the most important thing in my life. When going for the jugular, my dad contacted me saying that he and my mom found a home for her and they wouldn't keep her, even when I said i would try to find a new place that allowed pets. In the end I went back home when they were away and snuck her out.

[Longmanriffs]

Got hoovered over Christmas and I fell for it. Saw it coming and thought I was in control and then Christmas day hit, I was alone and without my kids. Now feels like I'm having to heal all over again after 10 months of being away from my ex narc who is the mother of my son.

Please, if anyone sees this and has the tiniest inkling that you're being hoovered NEVER think you're in control. They will win everytime. Ignore and never respond. Don't make the mistake I did trying to be clever. All because I was getting updates again on my son and it fell into what's happened. one night at Christmas back with my family and then discard all over again.

Don't make the same mistakes x

[mavic.]

Just received “I miss you and love you” flowers at work on our former “anniversary.” I’m not buying into it! Thank God for your videos! I feed off them almost as much as I pray! 🙏

[dorinat.]

Thank you!
He is again knocking at the virtual door... Wants back.
I so will not give in!🚫

[GJ-ixyo]

I got hovered in 3 times before finally going No Contact, and it happened exactly how you described it. First sweet words, then accusations and finally straight up threats. My narc is malicious and he had abused me in the past, and everytime I went back the abuse would get worse than before and it would happen quicker. Last time I agreed to invite him over, the abuse happened the minute I closed the front door, and this time he brought a gun and held me hostage for 24 hours before he left. I seriously think I would have been dead, had it not been for the fact that I was able to fake it and make him believe I loved him and would stay no matter what. I ended up filing a police report and getting a restraining order against him. He is now serving time in prison, but I have no doubt he will try hovering me in as soon he is out.
Go No Contact and leave this cruel people in the dust behind and don't look back. Its never going to be better!

[purplebelt]

He just sent me a birthday card, on the front “Life’s a journey” and inside how he‘s “glad” because he thinks I’m finding joy, p peaceful contentment & signs it “Love, ___”. Gotta be a hoover