Scared My Ex Won't Reach Out

If you're feeling scared that your ex won't reach out, especially when you desperately want to get back together, I understand how overwhelming that fear can be. It’s natural to worry that the silence might mean they’ve moved on or that they’ve forgotten about you. But let me tell you something important: no contact isn't about making your ex forget about you; it’s about creating the space for them to miss you.

When someone decides to break up, it’s often because they feel that something isn’t right in the relationship at that moment. Emotions are high, and they may think that distancing themselves is the only way to find clarity. This is where no contact becomes crucial. By not reaching out, you’re giving your ex the time and space they need to process the breakup and their feelings toward you. It allows the dust to settle and the initial emotions to calm down.

The fear that your ex won’t reach out usually stems from a place of insecurity and a sense of loss. You might be thinking, “What if they never think of me again?” or “What if they meet someone else?” These thoughts can be consuming, but it’s important to understand that no contact actually works in your favor in most cases.

Here's why: When you stay silent, you’re breaking the pattern of what your ex expects. If they’ve been accustomed to you reaching out, apologizing, or trying to win them back, your sudden silence can be quite jarring. It disrupts their expectations and makes them wonder why you’re not trying to fix things. This can lead to curiosity and even concern on their part, which often prompts them to reach out to you.

During this period of no contact, your ex is likely to start reflecting on the relationship and the good times you shared. When the initial reasons for the breakup begin to fade, what remains are often the positive memories and the realization of what they’ve lost. This reflection can trigger feelings of nostalgia and longing, which can drive your ex to reach out.

But it’s crucial that you use this time wisely. No contact isn’t just about waiting by the phone for your ex to call. It’s about focusing on yourself—healing, growing, and becoming the best version of you. When your ex sees that you’re doing well, that you’re strong and capable without them, it can make them realize that they may have underestimated your value. That realization can be a powerful motivator for them to reach out.

So, while the fear that your ex won’t reach out is understandable, remember that no contact is one of the most effective strategies to create the possibility for reconciliation. It gives your ex the chance to miss you, to reflect on what they had with you, and to feel the impact of your absence. Stay strong, focus on yourself, and trust that no contact can work in your favor.

[Kingdonomics]

My ex reached out, thanks to coach Lee she was putty in my hands when she come over for a cuppa tea last weekend.

[evies_mommy_]

My guy reached out several times over the course of 8 months. I never reached out to him. I eventually got the big "miss you" text, which led to us getting back together. It felt so good, letting him come to me. Now he's my husband.

[ShishiraNair]

Cool videos. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him.

[captainaxlerod]

If you did everything correctly, they’ll most likely reach out.. but don’t sit around waiting for it. Improve yourself.

[jaydub]

I'm here to show my support for Coach Lee’s channel. No contact works, folks. I didn't get my ex back, but I grew and discovered myself instead, which is better than having him in my life. We were not right for each other; I can see that now. My heart no longer hurts. Stick with no contact. It works. Stay strong.

[brianjames]

Been in no contact with my avoidant ex for 4 months. I haven't reached out because I will NOT clean up their mess as Coach Lee continues to preach. Your words give me strength Coach Lee on my days of weakness when I want to reach out but I know for my own dignity and respect that I will not. It still hurts so much though when someone who said that they love you and wants to spend the rest of their life with you can blindside you and discard you over text. 😔💔

[FranciscoPerez-kx]

Im at 50 days of no contact,
And i just knowing now no contact is not for them is to get yourself back 👏🏻💪🏻stay strong my friends it will get better i promise u that❤

[CoachKen]

Needed video about a very normal and powerful fear - its supposed to feel scary, and even hopeless. Feelings are very real and shouldn't try to resist it - just feel it, but don't trust those very real feelings are based on truth.

[RamboPresident]

when you’ve healed and moved on, you are scared that they will reach out. 😂 but honestly, if you want them back because there was actually a bond, then at least do the work in NC! even if they don’t come back, nothing will be worse then not having used NC to become a better person.

[ailamholihs]

“anxiety makes you impatient” haha, I needed that… It’s only been a little over a month as of right now

[Growwithgrace]

I started listening to you a year ago and it got me through the worst days I have ever experienced. I lived in hope back then that he would realise what he lost. I know I am a good partner, not perfect, but I am worth holding on to! Just an update to say he never reached out!! The hope faded and the pain eased but I still miss him and haven't attempted a new relationship yet...one day when my heart feels ready. Sometimes we don't get the happy ever after we imagined...so we have to create a new one 😢

[NorrisCFuhReal]

I’m kinda at this crossroads of ambivalence when it comes to my ex.

She reached out to me on my bday 3 months ago and she was the first person to do so. I didn’t give in and I didn’t chase.

She wanted to go and find better so I literally showed her the way out of my life. “She loved me but she wasn’t in love with me”….yeah BS I know 🤣

I ran into her 18 days after my bday in a McDonald’s parking lot literally across the street from my job.

Her response was this when she got out….she ran into my arms and hugged me as if she missed me and she did and she does but I am not interfering in her new love life.

You took me for granted and not only are you doing this in such a sloppy way but she’s being so contradictory with her actions.

Her bday message to me was “I miss you more than you know, and I have love for you always.”

That day in the Parking lot after her warm embrace, “I was going to drive off but I didn’t want to be a bitch” okay so why did you stop?? 🤣🤣

Hot and cold behavior, everything Coach Lee preaches in his sermons, he’s right.

She couldn’t take her eyes off of me, she was flirting with me with her eyes and all; she couldn’t keep her hands off me but again, I am not staying where I am not wanted.

She was bread-crumbing me a lot too by stalking me on social media. She doesn’t follow me so I know she’s typing me up in that search box lol

Again I am at this point where I don’t even know how I truly feel. I still care about her deeply but now that my emotions have subsided and now that I’ve taken the time to truly accept what she’s done and how we ended up, I am now ambivalent towards her.

I am allowing her to live her life without me in it. I wasn’t perfect but i treated her really well even on my worst day (I got really sick on Presidents Day)

I know she’s going to miss me since her bday just passed and I didn’t reach out. My profiles are now private too so you don’t get the gift of seeing me thrive.

The door is open but my current path is in front of me, not behind me. I’ve been getting all kinds of attention now from many women but right now I am taking more time to heal. It’s only been 4 months so let me reiterate that.

When and if they come back it’s because they swallowed their pride and they realized that the dating pool is shit. It’s up to you if you want them back.

Again I don’t know how I feel tbh but the peace and prosperity that I have now and now that I am almost through that storm; I am no longer the person that i once was. I’ve grown so much since then.

Listen to Coach Lee, the man knows his shit.

[nathanskinner]

I loved her the way a woman prays to be loved, I was kind and caring, I listened when she talked, my face lit up when I would see her even after almost 3 years. We went to school together and we were best friends. She slowly grew distant and I didn't notice because I just kept thinking that meant she wanted more of me. She told me I had to let her go and that she had hurt me enough sunday night before she had to work. I cried for days. I immediately went no contact, Its been 2 weeks. I still love her, she was my person. She made a mistake. I was the only one she could talk to honestly in her life because of her family situation. I just hope she realizes this was a mistake, I will give her a chance to make ammends. She hurt me so much, and it seems illogical. The heart doesn't think like an engineer I guess. (We are both engineers) She isn't cheating, I know that for sure.

I have a good job, I am going to get my own place soon, I am losing weight, she will regret this. She won't find someone like me. Little things everywhere remind me of her all over my life, its hard. I need a hug.

[fdiqtky]

To anyone hurting Coach Lee is right about everything!!!! It took my avoidant ex almost 8 months to the day. It will happen when you least expect it!!!! Stay strong, I promise it will be ok!!!! ❤

[Anonymou]

I got her back!! Thanx Coach Lee, you're the man!

[FabricioRochaJorBr]

I'm in kind of that situation. Almost 3 months since my wife for 12 years left home with our daughters. Adapted zero contract since. And she's been in Zero Feelings since. No word or sign of regret, jealousy, worry, nothing. It still feels unbelievable.

[jaysjourneyfatfit]

65 days NC… I’ve been working on myself … lost 27lbs because I’m trying to get on better shape for myself no one else!!! Spending time with friends and family. If we never speak again at least I know I’ve grown and I’m a better person then I was at the breakup!!! Thx Coach

[satyajeetpatnaik]

5 months passed. She did reach out for something which I feel just to check if I will respond or not. I dint lose my cool but the moment she started her drama, I said I am no longer available for all this. I am far better alone. Dont want any more chaos in my life. Thanks Coach. You have been there for me during this rough ride. It hurts for sure but I cant be with someone who is immatured and acts like a toddler. Hope I will be fine soon.

[amrei]

I‘m in no contact for 6 weeks now (short term relationship for 4, 5 months). And 2 of my former exes already reached out… I wasn’t aiming for that 🙃

[josephfoster]

Twenty-six months strict no contact. No texts, phone calls, telegrams, smoke signals, or carrier pigeons. But I can feel it, she's gonna contact me any day now.