C-PTSD: From Resentment to Self-Advocacy In Relationships

[havcola]

I love the recent addition of visual aids. They're super useful for someone like me who spaces out occasionally due to my adhd. Makes it really easy to catch back up.

[TheMegaross]

Honestly I have to constant check myself when my employees ask for help because my instant reaction is anger regardless of whether they do legitimately need help. My instant reaction is anger and I've never really understood why until now.

[AnHourOfWolves]

My favourite statement so far: "being willing to justify and validate our own feelings and needs as real responses to our environment, not crazy garbage that we made up inside of our mind."

[Thecoffeefreak]

"If I tell people what I want, I tell them how they can hurt me" is a lesson I've been working on unlearning for a while now. Thanks for the perspective and tips.

[josh]

The idea that other people might actually want to help and that helping one another increases connection is something I'd just never considered.

[hardenedsap]

You are amazing. This is amazing.
I don't know how you hit everything on the nose but I feel seen, understood and finally not broken and alone.

[sequoiashelley]

Wow, really helpful! I'm almost 70, and just starting to understand this behavior in myself, better late than never!

[CanadianJables]

You've changed my life Heidi, thank you for all your work!

[yveqeshy]

It just occurred to me that we're not only hyoervigilant about thr emotions of other people and their behaviour, we do the exact same thing to ourselves so that we can clamp down any unsafe feelings we may have and invalidate ourselves so as not to bring up our discomfort because bringing up our discomfort was unsafe in childhood. It wouldn't be met with care 😢😢😢😢

[laurabaker]

This lady is super smart! A lot of folks on YouTube tryna act like therapists but she is for real!! Real knowledge being dropped here!

[juliegazzoli]

I remember whispering for "help" as a kid because anything louder than that would cause my mom to get a migraine. I like how you talked about making your needs as well as appreciation of your partner's efforts explicit. Ive got a lot of work to do in that area. Thanks again for another fantastic video. You talk about such vulnerable experiences with clear, non-judgmental language that helps me feel less alone and more hopeful about my challenges. I greatly appreciate what you do.

[superc]

I wish you knew how much your videos are helping people. There is no other channel that has helped me more than yours. You are so gifted in helping people like me. Everything you said in this video resonated so deeply with me in my experience.

[ferasnouh]

"Until we recognize the magnitude of the challenges that we are up against in life, it's really hard to tackle them at the magnitude that they need to be tackled"

Thank you for that!

[joshliam]

This is like a life-changing masterclass. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all that you do.

[Firechiefcc]

Im on the verge of tears listening to this.. I've always felt chronically misunderstood or not understood even when I try hard to explain my feelings to someone. The right words dont come and it never seems to be translated accurately. I go through phases of trying hard and then giving up and shutting down. It's so hard. I have a lot of resentment and have never known how to release anger in a healthy way. This video explains so so much.

[asecretturning]

It's so wild hearing someone describe exactly the process I use to shut myself down.

[radicalradical]

I tend to fawn and take on tasks for others and have said tasks be a HUGE burden to myself, and I think that may play a part in why I feel such immense guilt in asking for help...like projecting? I just naturally believe my needs will be a detriment to others, since they are so often that way for me...Thank you so much for your work, you are so eloquent in your topics.

[susie]

I cannot belive that this is a free resource. I don't dwell on regrets, but I can't help wondering what my life would've been like had I known this 40 or 50 years ago!

[whipwalk]

Exactly. I was taught if i expressed my needs, i would be attacked, shamed, or ignored. There was no support. Now i have to relearn how to be.

[NoThing-wccs]

Anyone else feel like they know what they’re experiencing is actually very hard but still don’t ask for help? So you don’t invalidate your problems or think you’re pathetic but you just don’t see how anyone can solve these inner struggles besides yourself.