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5 Habits I Quit To Simplify Life | Design A Simple Life
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We all want a less complicated life.
By eliminating these 5 habits to simplify life, it's a little lighter and less stressful.
Follow A Slow Simple Life
Chapters:
00:00 we want a less complicated life
00:29 societal timelines
02:07 reacting quickly
03:45 living by default
05:30 pleasing others
06:46 adding instead of subtracting
Simplify Life
We all want a less complicated life. But it doesn't always work that way. At least not for me.
There have been circumstances in the past when my decisions ended up complicating instead of simplifying things.
My life isn't perfect and some days are tougher than others.
But by eliminating these 5 habits to simplify life, it's a little lighter and less stressful.
following societal timelines
Society, along with our own mental projections, tend to create deadlines for certain life milestones without logical reason.
Oftentimes, these timelines are based on what the majority is doing. A college degree, a high paying job, home ownership, marriage, kids, retirement - all in that precise order.
When we use other people's achievements to gauge our own adequacy, this gives us a false sense of inferiority or superiority. It makes us anxiously rush from one timeline to another and even question our decision if we find ourselves deviating from the norm.
But there is no single path in life. Our story will always look different from others and that's perfectly fine.
We get one life. It's meant to be lived in our best and not what's according to social conditioning.
So the next time we feel behind in life, it's good to check in and ask ourselves whose timeline we are trying to keep up with - ours or theirs.
reacting quickly
We have all heard of the phrase, "Think before you speak". But it's something I have struggled applying in my life as it's much easier to react quickly sometimes.
I could remember several situations in the past when I said something I later on wished I didn't. Our words have power and can either negatively or positively impact ourselves and others.
The poet Rumi talked about letting our thoughts pass through three gates to discern whether something's worth saying out loud or not.
At the first gate, we ask ourselves, ‘Is it true?’ At the second ask, ‘Is it necessary?’ At the third gate ask, ‘Is it kind?”
Because what others say about us is a reflection of their perception and insecurities. But our reaction, on the other hand, is a reflection of who we are.
living by default and not by design
I used to tell myself I could never simplify my life because the complications were outside of my control. I saw myself as a victim of my busy schedule, my endless responsibilities, and my lack of free time. In fact, I blamed everything else but me.
But looking deeply, these complications were consequences of my decisions.
I didn't set boundaries at work and in my personal life, which caused me to be busy, distracted and exhausted most of the time.
Simplifying may mean questioning our tendencies and challenging the status quo to choose a less complicated path.
We don't have to wait for a perfect timing or to have all the perfect conditions to align first before we could simplify and slow down our lives. We can do it at any time we want.
Because we either make our choices deliberately or allow other people’s agendas to control our lives. It's all up to us.
buying things to please others
Much of the complexities in my life were from wanting a lot of things. But the more I think about it, many of my purchases from the past were made on the basis of two beliefs:
One, if I had newer and more stuff, my life would be better.
And two, if I buy these things, others will value me more.
Yet the more I acquired, the more discontent I became. My choices made my day to day more complicated, my lifestyle more expensive and my free time less and less.
adding instead of subtracting
We live in the age of multitasking and we may know of friends, family members and even strangers who seem to get everything done and don't get exhausted (or at least that's what we assume).
There's subtle pressure to do it all - work, keep up with chores, have hobbies, exercise, maintain a social life, etc. I was guilty of placing so many expectations on myself. And it was overwhelming.
We can simplify our lives, but we have to put in the work. It's not about simplifying or choosing to have less just for the sake of having less. Or to make our lives look a certain way from the outside looking in.
But it's all about simplifying to create a life that supports us, our goals and our values
By eliminating these 5 habits to simplify life, it's a little lighter and less stressful.
Follow A Slow Simple Life
Chapters:
00:00 we want a less complicated life
00:29 societal timelines
02:07 reacting quickly
03:45 living by default
05:30 pleasing others
06:46 adding instead of subtracting
Simplify Life
We all want a less complicated life. But it doesn't always work that way. At least not for me.
There have been circumstances in the past when my decisions ended up complicating instead of simplifying things.
My life isn't perfect and some days are tougher than others.
But by eliminating these 5 habits to simplify life, it's a little lighter and less stressful.
following societal timelines
Society, along with our own mental projections, tend to create deadlines for certain life milestones without logical reason.
Oftentimes, these timelines are based on what the majority is doing. A college degree, a high paying job, home ownership, marriage, kids, retirement - all in that precise order.
When we use other people's achievements to gauge our own adequacy, this gives us a false sense of inferiority or superiority. It makes us anxiously rush from one timeline to another and even question our decision if we find ourselves deviating from the norm.
But there is no single path in life. Our story will always look different from others and that's perfectly fine.
We get one life. It's meant to be lived in our best and not what's according to social conditioning.
So the next time we feel behind in life, it's good to check in and ask ourselves whose timeline we are trying to keep up with - ours or theirs.
reacting quickly
We have all heard of the phrase, "Think before you speak". But it's something I have struggled applying in my life as it's much easier to react quickly sometimes.
I could remember several situations in the past when I said something I later on wished I didn't. Our words have power and can either negatively or positively impact ourselves and others.
The poet Rumi talked about letting our thoughts pass through three gates to discern whether something's worth saying out loud or not.
At the first gate, we ask ourselves, ‘Is it true?’ At the second ask, ‘Is it necessary?’ At the third gate ask, ‘Is it kind?”
Because what others say about us is a reflection of their perception and insecurities. But our reaction, on the other hand, is a reflection of who we are.
living by default and not by design
I used to tell myself I could never simplify my life because the complications were outside of my control. I saw myself as a victim of my busy schedule, my endless responsibilities, and my lack of free time. In fact, I blamed everything else but me.
But looking deeply, these complications were consequences of my decisions.
I didn't set boundaries at work and in my personal life, which caused me to be busy, distracted and exhausted most of the time.
Simplifying may mean questioning our tendencies and challenging the status quo to choose a less complicated path.
We don't have to wait for a perfect timing or to have all the perfect conditions to align first before we could simplify and slow down our lives. We can do it at any time we want.
Because we either make our choices deliberately or allow other people’s agendas to control our lives. It's all up to us.
buying things to please others
Much of the complexities in my life were from wanting a lot of things. But the more I think about it, many of my purchases from the past were made on the basis of two beliefs:
One, if I had newer and more stuff, my life would be better.
And two, if I buy these things, others will value me more.
Yet the more I acquired, the more discontent I became. My choices made my day to day more complicated, my lifestyle more expensive and my free time less and less.
adding instead of subtracting
We live in the age of multitasking and we may know of friends, family members and even strangers who seem to get everything done and don't get exhausted (or at least that's what we assume).
There's subtle pressure to do it all - work, keep up with chores, have hobbies, exercise, maintain a social life, etc. I was guilty of placing so many expectations on myself. And it was overwhelming.
We can simplify our lives, but we have to put in the work. It's not about simplifying or choosing to have less just for the sake of having less. Or to make our lives look a certain way from the outside looking in.
But it's all about simplifying to create a life that supports us, our goals and our values
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