The Real Reason Your Bad Habits Keep Winning

Join me today as we delve into the insightful practices employed by monks to break bad habits. Our exploration begins by understanding the intricate process through which habits form, providing us with essential insights on effectively breaking them.

In this video, we'll unravel the mechanisms behind habit formation, exploring the psychology and behavioral patterns that contribute to their establishment. By comprehending the foundations of habit formation, we can then embark on a journey to dismantle these patterns.

▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:16 - Struggling with habits
01:24 - All monks break their bad habits
01:54 - Understanding how a habit forms
03:36 - What is a habit?
04:32 - The problem with breaking bad habits
05:04 - What do monks do?
05:58 - The potato chip addiction
08:06 - How habits relate to addictions
09:50 - What happens in the brain when we raise awareness
11:00 - The secret of how monks break their habits

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#healthygamergg #behavior #badhabits

[InfectedEnnui]

in summary: when you're craving a bad habit, don't try to resist. do it mindfully, paying attention to every aspect of the experience

[socialnijivotni]

Great video again! Here is what I learned:
- a behaviour is reinforced when it's pleasurable and dopaminergic.
- when you try to change a habit you're using your frontal lobe which doesn't make the good habits pleasurable because the frontal lobes and the reward system of the brain are two different circuits
- monks do not practice resistance, they focus on cultivating awareness
- the awareness can help with addictions because the person with addiction is blind to what got them to use again after a period of being sober. Most of the times these people are emotionally triggered in some way and they cope by using the substance again. However, if they are aware of these stressful situations and their feelings, they'll have better understanding of what triggered them and made them use again.
- everytime you do the bad habit with full awareness you're strenghtening connections between the frontal lobe and habit circuitry. This works because bad habits are not enjoyable the whole time you're doing them. For example when you start a video game you're thrilled but after 10-20 minutes you're not as enagaged as in the beggining. If you're aware the whole time you're going to catch that point where you stopped enjoying playing the game. Another example I can think of is to watch a YouTube video but scrolling on social media on your phone. You are neither fully aware of the video nor the social media posts and this is how a few hours of your life can slip by.

- tldr - do one thing at a time and be fully aware of your bad habits

[jadebaxter]

the wisdom of a monk under the perspective of a Harvard psychiatrist, this dude is a gem

[num]

This makes sense. I stopped drinking in 2018, not mindfully at first. But once I started paying attention to the urges my brain was focused on, it became easier to understand and regulate the habit.

It wasn't forcibly stopping a detrimental habit. It was the act of thinking about my circumstances during and adjacent to alcohol consumption that allowed me to stop altogether.

I still feel the urge, years later, but I'm definitely better off than I was before I quit.

[eggman]

Potentially helpful tips:

1.Observe how ego and judgements interact.
"This action is bad, but it feels good, therefore I must be bad."

2. Observe sensations and emotions fully.
What happened before the habit? How are your feeling?
"I didn't sleep well. I feel apathetic."
When does the pleasure stop? When does the fun end and compulsion begin? How do you feel afterwards?
"The cake tasted so good on the first mouthful, but by the third it was just sweetness. I felt like I had to finish it, even though I wasn't enjoying it anymore."

3. Acknowledge what the bad habit does for you. It may be a bad habit, but it was/is a solution to a problem you have. Binge eating reduces stress. Gaming masks inadequacy. Pr0n distracts from emptiness. Anger issues protect us. They are poor solutions, but it never would have turned into a habit if it didn't work at some point. So rather than outright rejecting them, be grateful. Acknowledge what bad habits give, as well as take.

[thebenzeneboi]

This video has got to be one of the most valuable pieces of content on the internet right now.

I often feel so much shame and guilt trying to overcome my phone use and social media addiction through willpower.

It's validating to hear that my failures are not because I'm not trying hard enough, and it's life-changing to have a path forward after watching this video.

[ratsalad]

this may be one of the most important videos dr k has put out. i tried this for only a day and found massive results. for context, i generally spend nearly all day watching youtube videos or television/movies, sometimes playing video games too. i know i do it to avoid my feelings, but haven't been able to stop in years and it has really brought my life to a sickening standstill.

so i followed dr k's instructions and decided to engage in my addictions, but with awareness. every time i found myself picking up my phone or my laptop, i'd start paying attention to my actions, even pointing and calling if needed (e.g. saying out loud "i'm scrolling the youtube homepage right now.") because i'm trying to be aware of my internal state too, i'd ask myself, "what am i feeling right now?" i'd name the emotion and continue to scroll. because i've been trying to practice self-compassion in the last week, as soon as i named the emotion i instinctually validated it too. all this while continuing to engage in the addiction, fully aware.

what was surprising is this: while i'd usually spend hours on youtube once i started, when i did this, i watched only one video, or played only one pvp match at a time. it's not that i consciously stopped myself, i just didn't feel the NEED to keep going anymore. as a result, today was one of the most productive days i've had in weeks - i got so much stuff done, actually had the motivation to do things, all because i engaged in my addictions with awareness, which led to paying attention to what i was feeling and accepting it - as a result, i didn't lose myself in the timesuck of youtube.

what i found whenever i engaged in my addictions with awareness:
- i'd reach for them whenever i felt an uncomfortable emotion, e.g. sadness, anger, hurt, but most prominently discomfort at the prospect of doing a difficult task, which led to procrastination using the addictive behavior
- i also reached for it when i didn't know what to do next in my day - a completely unexpected realization. i suppose feeling directionless is its own kind of discomfort.
- i have a chronic pain condition, and i'd reach for my addictions when i had a pain flare-up. once i noticed this, i realized i could actually make the radical decision of, gasp, treating the pain, instead of avoiding the discomfort of it by playing video games. i automatically stopped after one match (not something i had to force myself to do!), took my meds and felt a whole lot better in a few hours, which led to more productivity.

dr k, you probably won't see this comment, but you've helped me way more than anything i've tried, even therapy, which has been pretty helpful. from the bottom of my heart, a huge THANK YOU. i hope all the good you do comes back to you as punya (sanskrit for "merit" for others reading).

[rekon]

Heard an extension of this that could also help others: If you find yourself tempted by a habit, try waiting 10 minutes before doing it. Helps build up resistance and willpower while also becoming more aware of the habit.

[LoveBystroem]

Dealing with phone and youtube addiction through a youtube video on my phone

[kenpoon]

It’s been 3 weeks since I stopped vaping. My parents were happy to hear that I am making progress to quit my bad habit but they asked why do I still have the vape in front of me at all times on my desk. I told them in the past when I tried to quit I would usually throw it in the bin, but not long after I would give in to the temptation and drive out and buy one. However, what I did 3 weeks ago was I use a marker to write down the date I decided to quit and I kept the vape in front of me at all times and bring it everywhere I go. Every time I have the craving to take a hit I can make a conscious/intentional decision whether I want or not, but the date on the vape actually reminds me of my commitment, goal and perseverance.

I just found this video and it really resonated with me when the monk was told to not to resist and eat with awareness and even keep it with at all times. I realise I am on the right path and I know I will break this bad habit of mine successfully.

[Blackcrowcaw]

This video made me tear up a bit. I’ve been struggling with drinking since the pandemic began, and I also have a genetic predisposition for alcohol issues from my dad’s side. I’ve been drinking every single day, with 3 exceptions that last maybe a week or 2, for the last 3 years.

I drink to cover up the loneliness. I do have friends, really good friends even, but there’s a gnawing hole in my heart where family and a partner should be. I currently only speak to one of my five siblings and my mother.

I went on a date recently that was the best I’ve ever been on. We didn’t do anything fancy, we went for a walk and then played music together and had tea. It just felt like I was simply and easily connecting with another person.

And guess what? I didn’t drink that night, and I didn’t even think about it. It just didn’t happen. We’ve now been on 3 dates and each time I see him I feel no desire to drink afterwards.

What’s frustrating is feeling like a lonely sad loser for needing people. I feel like everyone around me is “doing their own thing” and simply don’t have much time for others.

[NoirMorter]

I've used this approach without realizing to correct my diet. I allowed myself to eat what I wanted in full awareness that I shouldn't, forgiving myself for "failing" and allowing myself to enjoy it. It took months but soon I went from eating horribly soda's, pizza's, chips, candies and so on to replacing each little by little with healthy alternatives. This was several years ago now and have kept to my new habits. I occasionally consume some of the old stuff but I don't think about it as a negative and simply enjoy them since they don't cause me problems any longer.

[anginhvan]

This came at a right time for me, I just slipped up and played video games for 4 hours everyday on the last two weeks, and it has been detrimental to my studies as a medical student. I became aware of the fact that playing games wouldn't bring me anything but guilt (not even pleasure), and I thought I definitely needed a way to prevent myself from becoming absorbed in bad habits the next time. Thank you.

[arithmechick]

I just realized how many bad habits I used to have that I would always do while binging YouTube. A few months back, I decided I needed a dopamine detox which evolved into a new rule of mine: NO DOUBLE DOPAMINE! Snacking while gaming. Snacking while watching YouTube. Multiple tabs of livestreams. Shit like that obliterates your boredom tolerance. After watching this video, I'm starting to wonder if isolating those dopaminergic behaviors had the hidden benefit of forcing me to do each one more mindfully! That would explain a lot...

[whoisgliese]

Habits are unconscious behaviour. Engage in habits mindfully to remove the distraction factor, and to reinforce the connection between the frontal lobe and the habit or cannabinoid circuitry. Also you'll raise awareness of your internal emotional state whenever you're indulging in the habits so you understand better why you do them and you can deal with those emotions instead of undulging in the habit.

[kylespevak]

5:31 This makes sense because I've heard that being hyper aware was one of the most effective ways to quit something like smoking. The more you understand and focus on the parts you're just like about that hobby than the less likely you are to romanticize it and continue it. If you focus on the fact that you get no pleasure from playing video games anymore and are wasting all day playing video games instead of working out or doing something to make yourself better in life than it'll start to bother you every time you play video games because that's all you'll be able to think about which will help you kick the habit

[frankthepug]

I`ve been doing this with my pornography addiction for the last 2 weeks and I have to say, thank so much Dr. K. I'm 29 years old and for the first time in my life, since I consumed pornography, I feel in so much control with this addiction, at first I was skeptical about this practice and on the first days I saw not difference but I kept my full awareness while doing it, and after a week, I started to feel that the craving started to go away or at least they were way more manageable (slowly but surely) and now I had reached 5 days without pornography/masturbation, which is a huge milestone for me!

I know that I'm just 2 weeks into this practice, but so far, the change is noticeable and for the fist time I have huge hopes for me in the future.

Thank you so much Dr. K and I'll give you an update in about a month.

[demigod]

My biggest problem in breaking my addiction is that I can't find any new interests to replace it with, so I always fall back into the same loop eventually of turning my PC on just to escape my misery / boredom that eventually rises up

[rachelnanshija]

Dang ive been using this strategy for a while without really knowing why, other than that it worked. Engaging in habits with awareness has been a great way to get myself to keep a schedule, exercise, put in hours at work, read, etc. I just try to be conscious of when I'm making a choice to engage in a good or bad habit, then feel how that feels. Like if i decide to skip the gym i allow myself to do that without feeling bad but i tune in to how my body feels about that choice that day and the next. And sometimes my body feels fine and maybe I actually needed a rest, or maybe i feel physically worse for being sedentary and that knowledge motivates me to go to the gym next time.

[somerandomrando]

I can recall this state of awareness while attempting to change my diet. I allowed myself to cave without guilt sometimes. I noticed the waxy, cardboard taste and texture of the unhealthy food I craved. The sickening sweetness or the empty feeling after it was gone. I started eating them less and less because of this, until skipping over them completely in favor of better choices. I will keep it up knowing it's actually a solid technique. Thank you for this video!