Why Do I Feel So Hopeless?

Many people with narcissistic parents often feel overwhelmed by feelings of hopelessness. This video explains how hopelessness can be seen as a defensive response to living and having to find ways to survive in an abusive family.

[Quietfire]

My father was a bastard when I was a child, I was the favourite child because I would crawl away somewhere dark & quiet and I'd pass out with the tension in the home that as a toddler, I had no place for! My mother & father took it to be a good thing that I was less work told themselves I was just a "sleepy" child, when in actual fact It was neglect! My mother would forget to dish a plate of food for me at mealtimes because she was living in survival mode too! Due to housing conditions & my father's only ability to provide for the lives he so carelessly created, was to sign the back of his welfare check & grudgingly give it to my mother, so we could at least eat! !Due to all that my brothers, sister & I were in & out of foster care growing up in between these times, my father always wanted to move away from anywhere we lived, he wasn't happy & that's all that mattered! As kids, were made to feel awful just for existing! My father literally blamed us for being born & when he was having a manic episode, he'd slap us around & make us apologise for ruining his life! I will NEVER fucking understand why, after they had child no1 they didn't figure out that parenting wasn't their jam & to put a damn bag on it! I'm 40 now & I try to believe in myself & leave the past in the past, but the damage has been done & I feel so resentful & hopeless that I'll ever recover emotionally & catch up to the rest of society!

[karansnow]

I found that so helpfull and listening to it gave me hope lol...because i now understand hopelessness as a defence that i can work thru. Without such understanding i experienced hopelessness as an all encompassing state that i have no power to shift. Thank u so much for this channel, i am learning a lot from the information here, and i love how its presented in a way that is clear and easy for me to access x

[Thysta]

I recently realized why I sabotage myself. My idiot NPD father and BPD-HPD mother always wanted to "help me" when nobody asked them to do. I was a smart kid, and did things by myself, mostly pretty good, until these fuckers came to "help". Now, I guess eventually I internalized the belief that I am "incapable" (that is why they need to come help, right?), until I developed imposter syndrome.

[latenitetubing]

Where can I get more resources and/or support on this topic? I have been in most most recent therapy stint 2.5 years and it has not alleviated these feelings whatsoever. They are the worst now that they have ever been. I have been in treatment and recovery for over 10 years, which just makes me feel more hopeless.

I suspect I am currently in the scapegoat role with my family of origin who are all still alive and in low contact with me. Diagnosed BPD & ADHD and family knows so I am the identified patient & disabled.

Thank you for this informative video. I have so many questions, haha!

❤ from Canada 🇨🇦