Subtle Signs of the Dark Triad | Dark Personality Examples

This video answers the question: Can I provide some of the subtle signs we see associated with the dark triad? Sometimes these are called the dark triad traits or referred to as the dark personality. The Dark Triad includes includes psychopathy, narcissism, and Machiavellianism.
When we think of the dark triad, we think of narcissism as the ‘lightest trait’ and psychopathy as the ‘darkest trait.’ These different traits have characteristics in common like empathy deficits, selfishness, a short-term mating style, as well as being competitive, antisocial, hedonistic, and having antagonism. We can think of antagonism as a low score on the agreeableness trait of the five-factor model.
Narcissism in the dark triad is really grandiose narcissism. We see characteristics like arrogance, being socially dominant, being self-centered, a sense of entitlement, and a tendency to manipulate others (we see this characteristic with all three of the dark triad traits). Psychopathy characteristics include callousness; a lack of empathy, remorse, or guilt; violating society's norms; being irresponsible; being impulsive; having shallow effect; and superficial charm. The trait of Machiavellianism includes antisocial behaviors, but they're usually conceptualized as white-collar crime. We also see cynicism, having good impulse control (so this would differentiate Machiavellianism from psychopathy), callousness and being goal-oriented (usually we conceptualize the goal as being negative).

[movngforward]

I liked my life more when I didn't know what a narcissist was and now I am learning about dark triad personalities. 😫 I want to live on top of a hill overlooking the ocean...ALONE with a cat.

[TheGreatSnoozer]

Just a quick heads up, If you're talking to someone and they're nodding, smiling superficially and looking away, it doesn't necessarily mean they're dark. You might just be boring.

[stephclark]

“The poor listener example” “somebody not being good at listening” “bored with what you’re saying”
My ADHD ass: *sweats*

[kaylacarpenter]

Do an analysis on yourself. That would be hilarious. And do it in third person, while showing little pictures of your own face.

[catlady]

"inflated sense of romantic capabilities" - i have to remember this gem.

[tomryan]

My personal experience with narcissists is that their biggest giveaway is that they intentionally and progressively violate boundaries. They start out with small tests, and push farther and farther at a relentless pace. They will consistently do things that other people just don't do, and it will feel weird. If you find yourself saying "well, that's just Steve" a lot, it might be a warning sign. If Steve's negative behavior can only be explained by the fact that he's Steve, he's probably doing a lot of stuff healthy people just don't do.

Pushing boundaries is all about gaining control of people imo. Narcissists will use any leverage they can find to exert power. They will appoint themselves the enforcer of inconsequential social norms. They will point out insignificant flaws in your behavior, like driving slightly too close to another lane for a few seconds. They will tell you to do things you're going to do anyway to make it look like they're in control of you - they're always waiting for your shoelace to come undone, so they can tell you to tie it. They will point out "mistakes" that are not mistakes. They love to show you the "right way" to do inconsequential things, like how to open a can of cat food, or take a pizza out of the oven (actual examples...). They love adolescent social customs that allow them to project a 'win, ' like calling shotgun, and the slugbug game.

They are all about gaining control over people by undermining other's competence and inflating their own. They weaponize any sort of guidelines for behavior that they think you might agree with: moral, social custom, peer pressure, self-interest, logic, insecurities, and any other leverage point they can find. They look for things that are difficult to explicitly disagree with, even though they are inconsequential or distorted, and use that to make themselves look bigger and others look smaller. They're very tiresome to be around, because they never stop pushing. Conversation with them is actually just an arena in which they are constantly battling you, even if you don't realize it.

[Estelle-Maureen]

How is it that psychopaths and narcissists seem to have a surplus of mental energy and the rest of us need a nap?

[danthompsonm]

You're an outstanding "public intellectual, " enriching the community. We need more like you.

[DualFrodo]

Wouldn't mind a bit of Machiavellianism. I can't even plan what to do with a day off

[tunkytunky]

When you talked about the "Bad news" part, I was surprised that you didn't mention that some people's eyes absolutely light up when they hear about something bad that happened to someone else, EVEN A FRIEND. I've seen this and it's one of the most evil things I've witnessed.

[RajaMCool]

Narcissists are really dangerous. They are skilled at identifying people’s insecurities and will exploit them in order to improve their self-esteem. Narcissists also like to play favorites. They will deliberately praise someone in order to make another person feel bad. Honestly, I think narcissism is the worst of the three traits!

[grahamstabler]

"may talk about owning an island"
Eyes widen and holds breath
"they'll often do it with excess company"
Sighs with relief and continues to day dream about island fantasy involving no other people.

[michaelzell]

I knew a woman who was a talent booker for some bars and nightclubs. She knew a lot of musical artists and other minor celebrities, and she is not above name-dropping, often in the most appalling of ways. I ran into her at a show one time. I hadn't seen her in years and in the course of a 5 minute conversation she managed to name-drop a guitar player who had tragically killed himself. Now, this was someone she knew, apparently. She claimed to have seen him a few days or weeks before he died. She exclaimed, " I told him not to kill himself, but he didn't take my advice. He went ahead and did it anyway." Like, stupid guy, shoulda listened!


I mean the guy died, and still she's the victim. Something off there.

[daniellabassano]

With ADD/ADHD, people often interrupt inappropriately, blurt, or talk about how they can relate to what someone's talking about...Or we say it cuz are brain goes at warp speed and we're worried we'll forget the thought we're thinking...So those habits don't always translate into the "dark triad" or disinterest...Interesting topic though, as usual ❤

[sethytrashroad]

I will add that no eye contact/looking away *can* be a sign of being on the autism spectrum, and/or ADHD. So alone, it's definitely not a sign of the Dark Triad... only with the other things involved should it be seen as a red flag IMO

[pocoeagle]

That were almost 27 minutes listening to you and I enjoyed every second of it.
I can listen for hours to you Dr. Grande.
Thank you :)

[kevinjanghj]

I believe that revisionism is a key trait of the dark triad. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths have a tendency to paint things differently from others and that means if pressed with a need to explain something that puts them at a disadvantage or blows their cover, they are likely to create a whole new spiel or spin on the story. Facts are not relevant for them. They can twist everything.

[Sandra-wjon]

I have a sibling who when you have good news to share, they always have better news. Or when something bad happens, they always have a worse episode to tell. They can never let you have the moment...good or bad.

[Meeko]

When I got a computer science job that I really wanted and I felt great that my education helped me walk through that door... My mother decided on two paths: one path was - yeah but that's not a real job.. you just sit on your ass all day. The second, when my coworker came over... and she said this same sentence without thinking... he spoke up and said "She was the best qualified for the job, she has all the skills and education we need, and its a very mind-work type of job which is just as hard if not harder than a physical labor job" Then my mother flipped and said, "She got those smarts from me" LOL!!! No congratulations or anything. And what's even more hilarious... she hates computers!!! She has always hated computers and kept computers out of the house until I absolutely needed one for college. Yet somehow, I got all my computer science smarts from her? I used to be disgusted and upset, now I look back and laugh at how obvious her mental illness was this all whole time. I just didn't know it fully until she made too many mistakes and I caught her. But of course, she denies everything...

[halfrutter]

I was married to a man diagnosed with anti social personality disorder. What a long strange trip that was! Just glad I got therapy and got out. The subtle signs you spoke of... please don’t ignore them!