Why so many Highly Sensitive People have Lone Wolf Syndrome

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[davidmacdonald]

Excellent as always. Living off grid surrounded by animals with the nearest human 10 miles away is my dream.

[steps_with_Steph]

The social constructs are funny in reality. They say being sensitive is considered weak when majority of society are weak because they can’t express their true feelings or even be authentic. There’s a level of big confidence in being able to be sensitive and authentic because it shows you aren’t weak and can express your truth. Pretty much all these constructs are in actuality backwards but nobody thinks to question them. Thanks to society’s old belief, “do as you’re told and don’t ask questions.” I love being able to point out the hypocrisy in old principles that people still believe and live by. Great content and I enjoyed your video. ❤

[brentduanefoster]

All of this is absolutely true.

What tends to frustrate me about this is how so many people can inflict this trauma onto people, but act like they did nothing wrong, or attempt to somehow justify why they did it, instead of acknowledging their actions and their lack of understanding and doing the work to be more aware of what they do.

As for those of us who identify with “Lone Wolf Syndrome” not only are we left to heal from their inflictions, but we’re also left to somehow find ways to reconnect with a society that rejected us in the first place.

[cattinamarie]

I prefer to be alone. I don’t want to change it. Im happy this way.

[angelagoodwin]

I'm not gay and not a man, but I've always been uncomfortable with forming close bonds with people. I limit how much of myself to share with others. However, on occasion I've found someone with whom I can open up to.

[davidparker]

I am a man in his 70s . I been sensitive all my life . I don't have much contact with my family . Or my wife . But when I am on my own walking my dog or just listen to music I feel great yes talk to other dog walk . It just gives me time to reflect on my life I am happy with who I am

[laurahudec]

My experience as a lone wolf is I literally think I am crazy 😜 😂 for not being able to connect with people. But since I have found this trait, and you and the group I have found my people!

[Wisdoms.Garden]

Outside of work i spend 98% of ny time alone...I must say it is a peaceful space a space to not having to deal with others emotional neediness, a space to be as odd and creative as desired without questioning, a place to not have to explain the who what when where whys and how's of my own peculiarities, an most of all solitude provides a peace from the constant stimulation of the world.... the down Aide us the more I've detached and gotten to know myself the less interested I am in people who aren't doing c the same and the places the in habit. And having to meet people where they are is like a tiring full time job. I keep space open for those who are in alignment but they are few and far and quite honestly I've grown to enjoy brief interactions weather uts moments weeks months or years. I used to thing this detachment was depression but now I realize it's been a steady ascension. Feels very much like the Charater from the movie "9"

[ahmeterwinog]

I am glad I found your channel. I am INTJ, Aspie, Muslim, and also have PTSD and MS. I have always been nerdy, stoic type of person since as long as I can remember.

In a highly extroverted culture like Mexico, I have always been seen as the weird one, antisocial, or flint hearted. I embrace it as I don’t fake to be nice, nor I am agreeable just to fit the status quo, and I am not a womanizer nor think to be a true man is to be a sweet talker to many women.

[chatgpt]

The fact that a lone wolf is called traitor by its pack
A lone child is called selfish, Moody or cruel hearted by many families

[thatmonk]

Oh, my goodness; I am such a hermit monk. There are aspects of that which is healthy introversion, such as being okay or even happy to be alone. On the flip side, there are traits of unhealthy introversion, such as being afraid of rejection. Also on that flip side is the fear of others’ rough minds that is their aggression, hostility, anger, and straight up delusion. What really frightens me is others who are religious and/or racial supremacists. There can be reasons to be cautious.

[jamm_affinity]

My childhood wound was growing up a head shorter than all of my peers. I also looked a lot younger than them as well. I'm a man and 5'7 now, so just below average height. But growing up I stuck out like a sore thumb wherever I was, and people would constantly mock or mention my height/looks, or instantly form a judgement of me without even knowing me. Girls acted like I didn't exist. As a result I was quite a shy person. I always had a few friends growing up but we grew apart after high school.

I'm 28 now and have a long term relationship with the woman I'm going to marry. I didn't even start dating until I was 25 due to the fear of rejection. The thing about this fear, is that it's often unconscious. It may manifest as "I'm too busy for a relationship" or any other rationalization for not trying.

Once I realized I was avoiding relationships due to my own fear of rejection, and decided to do it anyway, that's when things got better for me. I'm still a lone wolf in many aspects and don't have friends IRL. I've got a best friend online but that's not quite the same. I do hangout with my family a lot, so I do still have a social life, just not friends.

I do recall being sensitive even in my friendships in highschool. My best friends would often hang out and do things without inviting me. This caused me to coil up. The only time we would really hang out is if I initiated. I stopped initiating things after HS and then all of my friendships died, so in the end I felt like they weren't that good of friends anyway.

I've had a few close friends over the years but they tend to come and go and they are typically internet friends. My last good friend IRL who was also a childhood friend and lived down the road from me moved, and we slowly lost contact. It seems like friends are really all just circumstantial to me, and a matter of convenience. I think the reason for this is because the bonds have never been strong enough to go beyond convenience (ie: school, sports, neighbors, game communities).

My philosophy is that friends come and go. I don't go out searching for them, but if a friendship forms then I will sustain it as long as it doesn't feel one sided. The thing is, 99% of my friendships have ultimately ended up feeling one-sided, so I stop reaching out to them, the friendship dies.

In the absence of friends I've got many different hobbies that I quite enjoy, and that's usually enough for me. My girlfriend is my best friend, and I'm her's. Neither of us really have friends IRL. I do battle depression and anxiety sometimes, but it's gotten better with age. And you know what? I actually love most parts of my life, even my struggles.

[szellllest]

Because we want to find a solution to all of this ❤

[sabrinaszabo]

I want deep connections I’m an open heart, but I realized I didn’t have healthy boundaries and got in bad situation’s. I want deep intimacy.

[sabrinaszabo]

Anybody can reject me, but I don’t self abandon anymore

[jonwhitney]

Much of what you discussed in this post rang true with me- I have always felt like a Lone Wolf- not based upon fear of rejection so much as not fitting in with those around me- I never had a loarg group of friends- especially in H.S.- I found people who were like me- but I never wanted to belong to a particular group. I kept a lot of my feelings to myself. I have never felt shame or fearful about being Gay, or, having others know. I have always been "me".

[matthmattical]

Thank you so much for sharing this and for sharing your story. As a sensitive, gay, lone wolf I feel very seen. I appreciate you

[alchafe]

I enjoy being by myself, though I go out and see my friends. Love your videos about us, hsp. Thank u Matt ❤

[blueblackflowers]

So Happy to have found you Matt, and this Group. I realised while listening to your talk .. that of course others do not know who I am authentically.. as I did have to 'fit in' while growing up... to survive. Much time has passed... and I am becoming more my authentic self.. and discovering and uncovering the lost parts.. and forgotten parts. Learning to embrace the power of being sensitive is such a gift... I can sense when to leave somewhere or not hang out with certain people.. and that is a great skill to have. Thank you for creating this content.

[Angelwhatsername]

all my life I wondered why the thought of moving to the mountains and living like a hermit sounded so appealing for me and no one else I knew lol and then I realized I was HSP and suddenly it made a lot of sense 😅