9 Signs your husband is a Covert Narcissist

1. Being inattentive and distracted
2. Jealousy and paranoia
3. Inability to understand his wife’s point of view
4. Unexpected angry outbursts
5. Frequently changing jobs
6. Impulsive purchases
7. Issues bonding with children
8. Legal issues
9. Substance abuse

Everyone deserves to experience the benefits of improved mental health and emotional wellness. If you're ready to take the next step in your journey, here are some helpful resources from Choosing Therapy.

Author: Eric Patterson, LPC
Medical Review by: Benjamin Troy, MD
Published: October 11, 2021

[dianebarron]

Does a narcissist hide money from his wife and act like they are poor or broke for 30 years

[BBFCCO]

My husband has many of these traits. I actually am starting to hate the man the more I accept just how much of an intentional jerk he is. He is always pre-occupied and getting my needs met for attention always leads to a fight. He blames me all the time for having emotions, especially when I get upset. He puts up a wall, which makes me feel horrible, isolated and I feel like I am going crazy and somehow have a problem because I just can't measure up. He gets irritated and annoyed with my son and I frequently, especially when we are having a good time goofing around or making jokes-basically doing anything fun. My son had offered him some food and he didn't like the way it was given to him and he had like a mini explosion, but managed to convince us that we had done something wrong. He has this ability to make us feel like shit all of the time, especially if he is feeling threatened in some way. What's the worst part about it, is that he has the ability to make me feel like I am always out of control and sucks the life out of me. I feel like a corpse and its affecting my mental health and I just do not know how to make this better.

[lolasmith]

OMG OMG HOW THE HECK SHE HIT ALL. EVERYTHINV SHE SAID THAT IS WHAT MY HUSBAND I MEAN THAT IS HIM. ITS LIKE SHE MET HIM BEFORE!! IM TRYING TO PLAN MY PEACEFUL ESCAPE FROM HIM. HE IS THE WORST ON ALL LEVELS. HE IS PURE EVIL AT THE MOUTH!!!! 😢

[Spiritual-journey]

Is there a spectrum in narcissism? What if he is the “nicest person” to everyone else? He never lies! ……

[morganadavies]

My ex husband had 8 out of 9 lol. Thank you 💖

[alysongouldsworthy]

He is 8 / 9. Angry outbusts, buying things, not a good relationship with his son etc

[donrominski]

My spouse accused me of being a covert narcissist. I took her accusation seriously and started reading about it. I also suggested to my spouse that we go a marriage therapist to discuss my narcissism openly and get feedback from a professional. She refused. So I started seeing a therapist on my own. We have now been meeting for several months. I sincerely want to understand if indeed I am a narcissist, and if so, where it came from and what I can do about it. The therapy session included a test for covert narcissism. While these types of tests are less than perfect, the test indicated that I was above average for covert narcissism but within the normal range. According to my therapist, nearly everyone carries some some elements of covert narcissism but it can range from nearly nonexistent to extreme. I will continue to work with my therapist to try to become more aware of any narcissistic tendencies and to develop ways to eliminate or minimize them. This isn't easy but I am trying my best. But so far, based on the testing and my therapists input, my narcissistic tendencies are not abnormal and not dysfunctional. Despite this, I want to work on any tendencies I may have. I just wish my spouse would be willing to discuss her perceptions with me, and maybe the therapist as well, so I could better understand her experiences and how I may be triggering them. But anytime I ask to discuss it, she just becomes angry and refuses to engage.

[ladyvirgo]

All of this! I couldn't figure him out until he blindsided me and left for another supply after 12 years married

[BreezeeGreenz]

This actually helped me recognize a narcissist (not very covert) who's the husband of an old friend.

[shawntayloppe]

Thank You...Well Said! I'm strongly considering a divorce

[dicksonfranssen]

I fit some of these but it's not what you think. Concussions and a brain injury have led me to some symptoms of CTE and other things some would see as impulsive. I also now have a very limited attention span. When I couldn't put the square peg in the square hole my wife stuck by me otherwise I'd be homeless by now. It's not always what it looks like.

[KrackJack-dp]

No anger or outbursts abd doesn't use others cars or money...except that all else is correct for my husband

[deedox]

You can't just describe alpha male traits and project it into a psychological dismay of narcissism. Protection and provision rely on the fact that you will let me protect and provide for you back by not going against the things put in place to keep you safe and provided for

[garbizwal]

What about your wife? You should meet my EX wife