How to Detach Emotionally and Let Go of Control

How to Detach Emotionally and Let Go of Control
Detaching with love doesn't just apply to relationships but situations in life where you need to check your expectations and desire to get control. Learn how detachment works and how to practice it in a healthy, loving way. #detachment #detaching #boundaries

Time stamps
00:00 Introduction
00:17 What is detachment?
00:39 Detaching emotionally helps you
01:35 When you can't detach emotionally
02:44 When you can practice detachment
03:24 If you are being mistreated
03:57 The more you recognize when to detach with love the happier you'll be
04:43 When your loved one is depressed
05:15 When a family member drinks too much
06:16 Expecting my relationships to last forever...
06:38 A common misconception about detachment

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Michelle is a psychotherapist, codependency expert, and anger management, specialist. She’s been featured in The Daily Positive, BossMom, Psych Central, The Good Men Project, and Your Tango just to name a few. Her relationship recovery helps people go from relationships that don’t serve them, to learning how to trust themselves and create mutually satisfying connections that work. Michelle loves creating online products and courses on relationship skills, codependency recovery, anger management, conflict resolution, self-esteem, and self-trust.

[MichelleFarrismft]

Need more help? Get access to my FREE Relationship Checklist to assess your relationships!

[misschloe]

My favourite mantra is “Accept, don’t expect “ 🤗

[sidharthchand]

Detachment and boundaries go hand-in-hand. Sometimes a friend is a better phone friend

[MaggieWebster-or]

Wish I’d known this years ago it would’ve saved so much pain!! Thank you ❤

[godzillamanstreb]

Me too….my sister & her husband are moving to another state….we’ve been in same city for 40+ yrs…. I was numb at first, now I’m going to detach in a healthy way

[phyllisboyle]

This is what I’m struggling with. I have detached physically years ago, but emotionally I haven’t

[wendydaniel]

People come into our lives for a reason, season or a lifetime.
Take the lessons and gifts from these connections as a step to our personal evolution from the Universe ❤

[jeannined]

Me too. I have an adult daughter who is married to someone with many narcissistic traits. One of their children is a scapegoat. It makes me emotionally and physically sick being around this family. I've tried to control/manipulate outcomes for almost 20 years by trying to FIX MYSELF, BLAME MYSELF. Have hit a bottom, and realize if I can't detach, I will self-destruct. I finally wrote a letter to my daughter telling her I couldn't be around her husband anymore. I kept the letter brief with "I" statements, and offered to share my feelings and observations with her if she wanted me to. I also said I was going to stay in my lane and never discuss her relationship wth her husband unless she asked me.

Yes, detachment with love is Phd spirituality. I may very well lose my daughter because I have chosen to take care of my own feelings of intense fear and dread when I am around them as a family. I let go of outcomes, but it's taken years to learn the important spiritual lesson that Love is spacious interrelationships, not chains of fear around each others' necks.

[albatross]

Oh, I wish I had your teachings when I was 21. My mom died my best friend. What did I do? I acquiesced and people pleased and went for counselling and no one helped me and I did not enjoy these gifts of knowledge to help guide my daily living. It’s all different now, and I love the reinforcers and I have strong filters and boundaries. Actually, I released all of my friends quietly and wish them well on their journey. I don’t miss something that was never there to begin with.

[altheasherieel]

Me too I have an issue with control big time. I'm seeking to fix this issue. Peace & Bliss 💜🙏🏾

[Judy-rkge]

Thank you. You explain it so clearly. I want to learn to do this more often.

[johannysmedel]

Love This helps me a lot especially at work because I tend to want to be like a Savior and it just shows me after healing from codependency issues, that I still have to heal more on the topic. I cannot save anyone nor do I want to. Thank you😊

[Mindsetolympics]

If you plant a tree, you can’t control how it grows

[jessican]

Me too…I have been with my fiancé for 7 years and he recently when thru a severe depressive episode. He’s gotten help and is so much better, but he started using cannabis again which may help in the short term but maybe not long term..having trouble detaching and letting him figure it out for himself, we have loved and supported each other through this and everything and we want our relationship to work but I need help not being codependent

[dazlindimplez]

How does this work when a person is in a marriage and they’re unhappy? How can they practice this and stick with it? What more should they do to stay sane and protect their peace?

[hunterconway]

In a long distance relationship friendship with a girl in hong Kong, im in America. Talked everyday for two years. But she has super high expectations of me. Always jealous. Says i always played and hurt her. Its been going on for 6 months at least. It's so hard to let our conversation go but im so tired of defending myself

[anitaholst]

My codependent relationships with my 2 daughters has a foundation (i think) in making up for the deficient mothering they experienced. I assume responsibility for just about any negative characteristic they exhibit; i can exhaust myself helping them with their toddler children, even cleaning their houses (i admit i am very uncomfortable around dirt and disorganization so the cleanung is so i can tolerate being there as well, not just helping bc i feel guilty that theyre unable to balance demands... theyre both on the 40 side of 35).

While they both have expressed for several years now how much they appreciate me and love me etc I know we're not close so to speak; there's a lot under the surface.

In the meantime the last time I had a man in my life as a boyfriend was 15 years ago. I don't know how to have a mutually satisfying relationship; I really don't take care of myself very well so I wouldn't say I'm in a good place for a relationship. And I don't truly desire one but I'm old enough at 68 to know I'm missing something.

[TEI]

Currently my best friend of 20 plus years is not speaking to me. She expressed depression and I supported her and also reached out to her sister to go do a wellness check. She is angry about me telling her sister which her sister already knew because of my best friend making a fb post about her mental health. I’m lost and don’t see where I went wrong

[joshsaundh]

Hi Michelle can you please help me because my mom and my dad keep fighting and I do not know what to do and it is scaring me so what should I do