Things NOT to Say to Someone with an Eating Disorder

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[aliexpresskinnie]

New title:
How to use basic human decency and common sense

[rachlovesmj]

or when someone says “just eat” like gee thanks never thought of that

[msinkwell]

"you used to be so much skinnier, why did you stop your diet?" - my whole family
"mmm i don't think that'll fit you anymore, you gained it all back" - my mother when i was recovering from my ed
"if you're hungry, just drink water!" - my mother when i was eating only 100 calories a day in the form of a protein shake
"why don't you eat with everyone else??" - my father, who then proceeds to make fun of my portions along with my older siblings
"if you won't eat what we make, you can fend for yourself" - my mother when i was anywhere from 8 to present day
"you're fat because you eat too much crap, if you just ate vegetables you'd be fine" - my father
"my ideal body type is athletic and skinny, but i still think you look okay!" - the guy who kept trying to ask me out despite me not wanting to be with him
"fat girls like us don't get to shop there" - my mum when i was 13 and looking at the forever 21 store
and that's just a bit of it :)

[bee]

“you don’t look anorexic you’re average sized”

i’ve never gotten this but i spend time in ed communities and hear a lot of people talking about having being told this

[ilovehotmoms]

Also NEVER say: you’re so stunning now, I could never tell that you used to have an ED

[urladyfsorrwss]

Also saying things like “wow you look so thin” when they’re clearly sick doesn’t help either, or saying “you look healthy” or “you’ve gained weight” to someone in recovery isn’t good either.

[literally]

someone once told me i was “getting fat again”.

[tangerine]

I had someone tell me "just don't eat" when I said I wanted to lose weight. Had an ed, it sucked, and I walked away having a panic attack. She then came up to me asking what was wrong and I didn't have the willpower to say anything. We aren't friends anymore.

[morkawlanamk]

"You'r too fat to have an ED" is what i got/get alot.... i was morbidly obese when my ED started... so when i lost almost 80 pounds i had/have a curvy body, normal weight... but since im not skinny people still tell me that im lieing about being sick... medicad professionells only ask if i was ever underweight, ive been trying so hard everyday to ignore my ED voice, i stoped making myself sick for almost a year now on my own, but i still struggle with eating... You dont have to be underweight to be malnourished! my bp is so low and i fainth all the time, i had galstones, still have gastritis, reflux, animia and so many other health issues...I need help with my body dismorphia.. my fiance is the only reason why im trying so hard even though everyday i look in the mirror and see myself the way i looked when i was +80 pounds... Dont even wish to have an ED, no matter how much you lose you will never feel attractive and wont even be able to see that you lost weight...

[pinkdruid]

The reverse is true too.
Binge eating is also a disorder.

[tsix]

as a person who’s recovered from an ED and still struggles I’d like to add; do not criticize our choices in food. It makes many feel fucking gross for eating.

[pickledjellybean]

"you look so much better then you did when you were heavier"

My mom said this while showing me a picture of me before I lost a bunch of weight, she meant it as a compliment but it kind of just reinforced the idea that gaining any weight wasn't an option for me, triggering me to stop eating for fear of gaining weight...

[jennabunny]

The "you looked better before" comment always kills me. Because it always about my thinnest, which was a super rough time in my life where people were STILL constantly telling me that I was too fat at 55 kg/ 125 lb. And to get past that point where I felt it was okay to actually eat something and be told that I should go back to that size because it looks better to them, I just want to crawl into a hole.

[Natalie_PL]

My friend used to tell me "Please eat...for me 🥺" and i absolutely HATE it

[bluebird]

When i was actively dying of an eating disorder, my older cousin said to me “I wish I could have an eating disorder too, but I don’t have the self control”. Thanks dude

[indyboneslife]

when people say “it’s not that hard just eat” like it’s harder then you think

[celestabelleabethabelle]

I didn’t exactly have an eating disorder, but I was extremely underweight and now that I’m healthy a girl came up to me and said “omg I found an old picture of you and you were so thin! I wish I was that thin!”
Please don’t say that… I was severely underweight back then… not healthy

[Alyssa_Jean]

on the opposite end, there’s also BED which looks VERY different than anorexia or bulimia but has roots in mental health issues too.

[serenitybrown]

ALSO BINGING EDs: I feel like not a lot of people talk about these, it is just as triggering to hear ‘you need to eat less/ work out more/ you looked better before’ comments about your weight/appearance when you are a binge eater. It will only cause the person to feel even worse, probably causing another binge.

[loadingthegay]

I am over 200 pounds and i have a severe eating disorder. Worst thing someone could and has said to me is "you're too fat so maybe it's for the best"