3 Things To Never Say To Your Toddler (And What to Say Instead)

The 3 common phrases we often use as parents often work in the moment, but don't always deliver the message we intend them to. While they might work in the moment, you can swap them for some alternatives that are shown to be much more effective in terms of providing support and encouragement, building your child's confidence, and fostering emotional well-being.

In this video you'll learn what these phrases are, and the alternatives you can use instead.

Please don't feel guilty or bad in any way if you do use these phrases. That's not the intent of this video at all. Using them here or there isn't going to harm your toddler's emotional development. This is simply about highlighting some alternatives that help deliver on the intent in a more effective way.

As always, I hope you find this helpful!

#emmahubbard #toddlerdevelopment #toddlertantrums

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[MatthewShamrockByles]

Parenting is training of the parent as much as the child if not more so.😊

[beatriz]

I actually started doing some of the things you said just by watching my kid and seeing what works 😂 "food on the plate or in the mouth" for example, works pretty well! Also, if he starts playing around with the food and ignoring me, I ask if he is done and I can take his plate out since he is not eating. Usually works too. For leaving places, what works 90% of the time is not saying "let's go home", but enticing each step (like "let's go see if there are butterflies outside" to leave the building, and "let's get Teddy bear in the car" to enter the car. My kid is very adventurous and looking out for the next thing or activity to do, so this strategy usually works.

[SweetStrawberryShell]

My mum always said “be careful” and I know it made me feel anxious. I’ve given my son a lot of physical freedom, from not putting socks on him while indoors, he didn’t were any shoes until he could actually walk, and let him climb on furniture from a very young age while mats were on the floor below. Now he is 2 and a half, and it’s amazing how physically agile he is, he’s so aware of his surroundings, I almost never have to worry about him falling, because he knows his limits and what is/ isn’t safe to do. I’m so proud of him 🥰

[Jdoublel]

I’ve been saying “be careful” so much that I joked it would be his first words. Taking these tips to heart ❤

[kiefershanks]

I've been practicing my poker face when my toddler throws food. It takes an unbelievable amount of self-control to not react at all and consciously react well to other actions that are favoured. I have been trying to avoid "be careful" too. I try to explain specific dangers to her even if it may not be understood. There's danger everywhere and I have embraced it. You're absolutely right. If we want to keep our kids safe, the best thing we can do is teach them how to navigate a dangerous world themselves. This means we need to do a good job of explaining dangers to them and giving them (some) autonomy to make choices and experience consequences. Then we can be there for them, explain what happened, what they could do in the future and make them feel supported. I think that is a great way to gain their trust. Let them free and provide support as they figure stuff out. We should be mentors not police. Lol

[kortniefrohlich]

This is so helpful!! I'm a first time Mamma to a 15 month old & I am a nervous wreck but don't want to hinder her exploration or growth. This has been very helpful, I'm even sharing it with her Dad, Lord knows we need pointers like these

[micheleboyd]

I can relate to this so much. I was ALWAYS told to be careful as a child. I was already a cautious child and I can definitely see how the effects of this on me manifested throughout my life. I've worked hard to overcome fears as an adult and work hard to not pass my fears on to my toddler.

[Lifeisbutanillusion]

For leaving the park or any other place, I've also learned from a Montessori parent that it's great to give them a heads up, anytime you want to transition from one activity to another. So five minutes before it's time you say "it looks like you're having so much fun! In five min it's time to leave, so when mama says" five min are up" we have to leave, okay?" (and ontop of the heads up you can use the two choice method as the last activity like mentioned in the video) so they don't feel like you're just ripping them away from an activity then and there. It's the cold turkey ripping them away from the current activity that upsets them most of the time.

When it's time to leave you say "oh that looked like so much fun! And five minutes are up, time to leave" and if they still have a hard time leaving you can add in "would you like to carry my/your (item) to the car/pram?" to incentivise leaving. 🌻

Thank you for yet another great video, Emma, you teach us so many things just to be better parents, you're a gem and one of my fav YouTubers! ❤️

[brd]

“Watch your step”: specific instruction to encourage proprioception (awareness of where her body is relative to her environment) and coordination

[mimprincesa]

I knew all these but still did all of them. It’s so hard to shake what you faces growing up. Regulating myself is the hardest thing to do

[jeffreycedeno]

I learned from my parents telling me and my siblings "don't that, you're going to get hurt", not to say that (or at least try to avoid saying that) to my now 2yo son. Idk how much credit my wife and I should take from this, but I can see that he's comfortable doing things most kids his age and older are afraid of, and yet he's also learning how to be cautious at the same time.

[DigitalicaEG]

6:57 it also helps that you tell them a little in advance instead of surprising them that we’re leaving now all of a sudden.

[AwkwardAuction]

Me: provides toddler clear instruction

Toddler: “I hear and understand your clear instruction, but I choose to ignore it” 😂

Great tips, thank you ❤

[theswet]

I recently started questioning myself when I say be careful to my toddler because I know he wouldn’t know how to interpret it. I don’t want him to be too fearful of trying new things. These tips are very useful! Thank you.

[tamsinlancashire]

Absolutely agree. Empower our kids to overcome challenging situations

[orcanerdc]

I still get nervous climbing ladders because I was told as a child to be careful because I would most certainly fall. I don't want to pass that on!

[markb]

Never realized what I was doing, thank you for pointing that out.
I have an idea for a future video that I'm sure alot of people would be interested in.... how to tell a child about the father they never met because he's just an adult child himself?
My grandson just turned 3 & he knows other kids have dads, & it's heartbreaking when he occasionally calls his uncle "dad" & we have to correct him.
My parents divorced when I was 1, so I have an idea of the kind of trauma he'll be dealing with, as I'm 53 now & that divorce still affects me every day.

[Refiningforge]

I have a 4 week old and will be printing this guide out and handing it to my husband and the grand parents and any caregivers! Thank you for it!

[BeyondBirthingPelvicFloorPT]

Your videos are always so informative and helpful, as a mama of a toddler I so appreciate this information. Thank you!

[tylerproctor]

After 3 broken arms, a broken wrist, a broken leg, and multiple other injuries I don't think telling them to be careful is my children's problem but could totally see this advicebeing valid for timid children. Yall might not actually walk away from you kids but I think my kids are convinced I would. Act like a crazy kids and they can go to home. How bout if you throw your food then I take the food away completely. Sounds more effective. I have 8 children. 3 are grown. Even my 19 year old makes 80 grand a year. And I got a plumber and a college graduate. Never been to the police station yet. Got another graduating this year. Already has an internship and a scholarship to be an industrial electrician. I never whooped them. Barely ever even raised my voice. But they knew the deal. Firm and fair. But these are boys. I got girls who are 9 and 10. We will see