Taking things personally? 6 ways to STOP

Do you take things personally or everything someone says feel personal? In this video I'll talk you through how to stop taking things so personally in your life. So how do we stop taking things so personally or so seriously whether it be at work or at social events or church or wherever we may be? Because the reality is most things honestly have very little to actually do with us. Let's talk through how we stop taking things personally so you don't feel easily rejected or personally attacked in places like work or with your loved ones or family.

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[Norman]

Emotions are children ✅ don’t let them drive the car but you also can’t put them in the trunk…brilliant Kati, thank you ❤

[kflecha]

I learned this late in life but we have to learn to not take everything personal because is super draining and doesn’t fix anything ❤ be kind with yourself ❤😘

[puturro]

"It's your choice to take this personally" this phrase from Rick and Morty put things in perspective for me

[Teamshmo]

The only thing that has ever helped me is somewhat like the mastery technique you listed. Basically, just focusing on taking action at things you know how to do, or taking action towards your goals. It is very difficult to listen to other people or think of negative thoughts when you are actually taking action towards your goals. If someone or your own brain starts talking negatively about you it is easy to block it out because you are literally doing stuff to better your life at that exact second. The only issue is you need a very full day because the second you stop you might start feeling poorly again. That is when I try to think of all the things I accomplished that day and all the things I am grateful for. Thinking of things that went right shifts your thoughts to positive things

[siennaprice]

My sensitivity comes from both ASD and CPTSD. I feel like I’m getting better at not taking haters’ words to heart like I used to. Now, the negative self talk is a big one for me. “You’re not allowed to feel dysregulated. You’re less if you feel dysregulated. You’re only deserving and worthy of love when you’re happy and regulated 24/7. You’re not allowed to have flashbacks, get over it. It’s not ok that you do that because the rest of the world frowns upon that. I don’t care if it makes you comfortable, it’s different from everyone else.” I also am afraid to reach out to make friends or even people I idolize. They may not know much about people who are completely blind, autistic or have CPTSD. They won’t want me to do the things that make me comfortable and safe in my own skin. They’ll frown upon emotions that aren’t linked with happiness. I often seek shame, judgment and criticism rather than support and validation and love when I’m dysregulated.

[FoolintheRain]

I really like the analogy of the child in the back seat and not allowing the child to drive. Thank you Kati.

[leonievh]

This make me rethink things again where I still need some work in my life
Thank you❤

[Kattpt]

Thanks! I can't afford to see a therapist, but I really feel like I've had a great therapy session after watching you!!

[charthers]

A shower can change your life - sounds impossible but it’s so true

[dabbler]

Glad to have this video available.
I like the part about "take a break from responding." Maybe it comes with AGE? Not sure, but, somehow, it is getting easier to tell myself: "i don't NEED to respond to everything."

It doesn't mean that i necessarily agree with the criticism. Most times, i don't. And it saves me from wasting time arguing.

The BIG thing that always, and still does, bother me is when:
1. i tell a 3rd party person, after the fact, about a converation i was in where someone said "X", and the person now listening to me says: "well, don't take it
the reason it bothered me in the FIRST place was:

"dont take it personally? But it was a 1-on-1 conversation. Who the Hell ELSE were they talking to??
Nobody but me. No one else was there, so how is it NOT personal?? or--

the people who, while they may not mention your name out loud, specifically, its obvious to anyone who graduated high school that they are nonetheless "implying like hell.". And yet, somehow, for all that, ....

its getting easier....to be "comfortable within", because i know who i am, and what i do,
AND why i do, or dont, do it.
I dont have to RE-explain that for every criticism. Also, quite often in my "Arsenal", it is all-too-easy to embarras them right back, in front of others. How? Because of their blatant hypocrisy (which makes it very easy to give clear, definite examples, which i do) and they will either:

A) go Ballistic (which i let others see) or
B) the embarassment instantly shuts 'em up.
"Mission another cold Beer and carry on with some mellow jazz to relax.

[c_dizzlee]

Thank you so much for this video. I’ve been following since 2019. I’ve grown so much since then and watching this made me proud of myself because I find myself using these tools to get past a negative space. Thank you for affirming I’m on the right path and to keep moving forward. You’re amazing and I appreciate your content.

[kylasanchez]

Thanks for always making videos, Katy. Currently i don’t have access to a therapist but your topics act as a guide for me in navigating my mental state. Thank you.

[shawnswift]

This is a constant battle I'll never win

[tomaraseizedthenow]

This was very helpful, thank you! I don't take things too personally but I get nervous since in the past I've found that people have felt I set out to hurt them when I just needed some space from loved ones during times of high stress to figure my future out or call out an unkind or toxic perspective/behavior in a group

[BEACHDUDE]

It's usually about them, transferring their issues on you

[cyndigooch]

It can be very.tricky though, because it is extremely personal sometimes, especially if being targeted by people who view me and other sensitive souls as easy targets, whereas they leave other types alone.

Another important point is that it means that the types of people who bully, or pick on others, can keep doing so, then tell everyone not to take things personally, which has happened me. 🙁

[MissZarcasm]

One thing I recommend to anyone and everyone when wanting to get better at emotional management is Mindfulness. I was someone who certainly did NOT believe in it (a quote I once said was "it's hippie bullshit", so that'll paint a picture for you) - and now I see the immense benefits of having a mindfulness/meditation practice regularly, ESPECIALLY if you're someone who is highly sensitive or easily reaches high affect states, I myself have BPD for example. It doesn't have to be much, 5-10 minutes a day. You don't have to "zen out" and think of nothing, that's only a very specific meditation technique which isn't the end all be all. Mindfulness is about notice. "Watch" your thoughts and just observe them as they fly along. You can do walking/moving meditations and mindfulness practices if sitting still is difficult. Find a way that works for you, because I swear it works wonders on gaining a greater ability to not just REACT to everything you feel. #1 tool in my toolbox these days, 4 years out from therapy! ♥

[heidicameron]

Thank you Katie I needed to hear this today!!!

[JoaquinRomolor-nt]

I keep reminding myself Love Thyself Please ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Don't be to hard on yourself.
Thank you Ms.K cool exercise.

[kevincarrieson]

One technique I have found very useful is to ignore junk thoughts. If my mind is talking on its own I can usually ignore it. The rule of thumb is "If I didn't think it I can ignore it." Often the mind talks because of inner stress, but it doesn't say anything useful . It's a radio in the background and unimportant.
Two counterpoints to this technique are 1) Dedicate time to self care, and 2) Do identify and attend to thoughts from other parts of yourself, and thoughts caused by infections.