How to Find Love Without Being Perfectly Happy

I'm not a big believer in the idea that you need to be happy first before you find a relationship.

It's not that the sentiment is a bad one, but telling someone who's facing challenges in life that they now also have to achieve this elusive feeling of happiness before they can be with someone seems highly unproductive to me.

I'm here to tell you that you don’t need to be perfectly happy before you find a relationship . . .

You just need to be "happy enough."

I love this concept, and I think it’s something that can serve us in any area of our lives.

[Nika-jezd]

"You take whatever you are given - very dangerous place to be".

[sapphiregordon]

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” -The Perks of Being a Wallflower

[svenvanderzwaag]

He is just so wise. One of the only dating coaches I really admire and love listening to!

[Lexi_Con]

Never accept breadcrumbs or poor treatment just bc you don't want to be alone. Know your worth & that you deserve respect, kindness, and honesty from your partner. Relationships require communication & willingness/desire by BOTH partners to meet each other's needs. If someone really cares he/she will make time no matter how busy, will be open & try to know you better, will want to spend time together... They won't make excuses, won't use you & take you for granted.

[DLMF]

Never rely on others to sort yourself out. A relationship is not one carrying the other, but two people rowing together in the same direction. If you cannot row properly, then do everyone a favor and fix yourself up.

[nocando]

Definitely agree. A little hard to implement sometimes when you're single as an older person because being lonely sometimes happens. But, you try your best to be balanced and keep a level head so when you do meet someone, you can be good to them and recognize when someone is good for you.

[SofiaSanchez-tqxd]

I’m 21 and had never thought of having a serious relationship until a couple months ago, when I reconnected with a guy I met in high school.
I was so miserable through out my childhood and teenage years, I never even gave a chance to the thought of being happy with someone at some point of my life. I eventually consulted with a therapist and learned that I had been dealing with depression since I was a child, and being sick of it, at 20 years old, I slowly started to take care of myself and about my safety, as well as my physical and mental well being.
After many ups and downs and being constant, one day I felt different, just better.
It was then when I finally saw myself sharing my life with someone and I’m so happy, because I know I don’t need him and he also doesn’t need me, but we want to be by each other’s side.
I’m just so so happy and now I can look back and thank little me for not giving up, it was absolutely worth it.

[CreatedSpacespodcast]

I was happy enough ❤ When it didn’t work, it hurt me. But never broke me completely. I’m so grateful and thankful. I accepted the ending and life is happy enough again and I’ll definitely try love again. ✨💕💪🏽💫

[ms.steveygolden]

Being content IS happiness. I love myself, when I'm with you AND when I'm not with you. Life IS good ~ discover it ❤

[juliafisher]

You're book Love Life really clarified things for me today in just a couple of paragraphs... stopped me from answering a text from an ex that would've just confused me further and taken my focus off of my own plans .. thank you Matthew

[ShamalaNadarajan-oczn]

Never take on person who does not add value to your life but tries to only bring and spread their chaos that's a definite no no

[luisdiaz-valero]

This applies far beyond relationships. I’ve had to learn it several times already, and some of those times the consequences were incredibly taxing, even crippling, on myself and those around me.

[annamassek]

I love this person and if he never comes around I still will be happy enough, very disappointed but happy enough .

[penniroyal]

You have to come to a relationship happy enough on your own so IF something goes down that you just are not going to put up with you can walk away and know you’ll be OK 👍🏻 yes it’s going to hurt especially if there was betrayal but this to shall pass.

[deethompson]

Absolutely spot on - someone walked back into my life after I'd been happily single for 7 yrs - he created chaos for a few weeks - I was happy when I finally walked away - he was an ex and I should have remembered that he was an ex for a reason - lesson learnt and I'm happily single again ✨️🙏❤️

[Cloud]

Inevitability if you connect enough with someone and they decide to end it, it will take a percentage of the happiness you have on your own away. Unless you’re sociopathic I don’t see how it’s possible not to. Not saying you can’t get it back, but getting heartbroken will always set you back. And that’s normal, it’s means you’re human and you’re not a sociopath.

[thecommonsensecapricorn]

It’s been hard to get to that “happy enough” and I don’t think I’m there quite yet.. getting there slowly but surely

[resurgam]

I'm a pretty world-weary person, but I'm definitely also happy enough.

[rbasso]

Getting to the Summit of Happy Enough is hard AF. But I swear, it's much better than settling for a toxic relationship.

[elektrovert]

I was happy enough until I met my last crush, still recovering 😅