How Narcissists Target You With Delusional Idealism

A necessary beginning point for healthy relationships is truthfulness. Dr. Les Carter explains how narcissists cannot be truthful because they are guided by delusional idealism. And what is worse, when you indicate that you are not on board with their delusions, you will be targeted.

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[ultralyrics]

I feel a lot less insane after watching this.

[forestfairie]

3 months rid of a covert narcissist after7 years..Still every day I wake up I breathe a sigh of relief. The Freedom is like the gift that keeps on giving

[joyhoman]

"I'm not criticizing, I'm not judging, I'm just trying to help you out - you poor dumb fool" Hahaha! This is so accurate it made me laugh out loud - thank you Dr. C!

[aaronkwolfe]

They seem to think that perfection is possible. And so they demand it of you. Even if they know they aren’t capable of it, they still assume that they are.

[kayann]

The funniest thing about narcs to me is that they seem to think that if you didn’t visually witness what they did (and sometimes even then), it didn’t happen and therefore they have NO IDEA what your problem is, they didn’t do

[girlintherain]

"it's because of all the stupid idiots I'm dealing with out there". I hear that endlessly. That means basically everyone but them!

[lauracoussens]

Narcissists take pride in their efforts. It's all about them...all roads must lead back to them...irregardless of the damage along the way for those who dare challenge them. No remorse, no regret, no real love.

[izawaniek]

Once you dare to express your authentic self as separate and different from the narcisists dellusional idea of what you and your relationship with them should be, they put a target on your back and in a ‚humble ‚ attempt to re-educate you, they will shame you, humiliate you, invalidate you, minimize you and all of the tormenting will be done in their sacrificial act of fighting to get your soul straight. Evil always comes desguised as good. Thank you dr Carter.

[jamiegraham]

Actions vs. words. We need to go with what we actually see vs what they tell us. Trust YOUR eyes and YOUR perceptions over what they tell you SHOULD be seeing and believing

[rwdchannel]

Basically the narcissists think they're wise and everyone else is a fool.

[ernieblue]

I fluctuate daily between believing/feeling and acting like I have a trustworthy life partner and realizing that I don’t.

[notthatvashti]

After years of dealing with the narcissists in my life I've found that their strategy is always to make you "toe the line, " and the line belongs to them. You are totally correct DR. C. they must put you in your place to control you.

[e.d.]

OMG my mother is a narcissist. I thought this was just about my brother. She fit every single one of these points. She literally told me, when I was growing up, that she was doing me a favor by pointing out my deficiencies (like I was 5 pounds overweight -- a HORRIBLY self conscious teenage girl).

[Satiator]

When everything they say is just so perfect, but not even close to accurate.

[srarisa]

My sister: "You should obey what I say, that would improve your pathetic life".
"You don't even appreciate how lucky you are that I pay attention to you when I'm so busy, and now let's talk about me".

[DaRyteJuan]

I’ve already dealt a mortal wound to the narcissist who set herself upon me. She managed to drag herself away.

Now the quarry is mine.

[richardgoreilly]

Thank you - if only I recognized this decades ago.

[ryla]

My narc aunt said "remeber I am not the one with childhood issues". Which she does also we both came from alcoholic patents. I look at it as blame shifting and projection

[hannahisabel]

He’ll always say “I’m just telling you” or “I’m simply saying” without any accountability of how critical or contempt the statements were. His entire family circle is nothing but everyone “telling” each other things. There’s no real connection or healthy conversations going on at all. And he doesn’t understand why I don’t want to be present. Let alone hear my feelings as to why I feel so uncomfortable. I’ve been in this relationship for almost 7 years. So many years that now I see that I myself adopted so many of his traits because I’ve been isolated to be within his circle and his circle only. It’s terrifying.

[viviane_casella]

I'm volunteering on an animal shelter and the amount of narcissistic behavior is astonishing! The idealistic thing together with ideology brought me to a meltdown! Horrible, pushy, lazy, entitled, and arrogant people wreck the experience for all the others, it's tiring.