How To Discipline a Teenager That Won't Listen. You Are The Boss, They Said #$h^tTherapistsSay

How To Discipline a Teenager That Won't Listen. You Are The Boss, They Said #$h^tTherapistsSay //

What is the best way to discipline a teenager that won't listen? One therapist said, "You're the boss. Just tell them what to do and put them in their place." Watch this video to see if we think, "You're the boss," is the best discipline tactic for teenagers who won't listen.

Next, watch 🎥 Raising Teenagers... Need I Say More?? - Couples Talk with Mended Light

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00:00 How To Discipline a Teenager That Won't Listen
00:45 Lose the battle to win the war
02:15 Freaky Friday clip
05:00 Listening to understand
12:40 Parent's wounds
13:30 Agency based parenting

#teenagers #parentinggoals #mendedlight #jonathandecker

[bretmaples]

Privacy is not a privilege, it is a right. I feel it is abuse for a parent to take the door of a child or teen's bedroom. If it's a toddler or infant that's different, but an older child or teen you are taking away their safe space.

[krembryle]

Yeah, my parents...did everything wrong. And now they are whining over me not wanting to meet them. All our recent written communication is them trying to prove my perception wrong. Which is exhausting for me, but it makes it easier to ignore their texts. I half a year ago I set a boundary - that I don't want to talk to them about my college life, my relationships and place that I currently stay. I did that because I felt like that's everything that matters to them - me getting a college diploma and being socially successful (which I never was). They responded with half a year of silence and then, on my birthday, they asked me to come on a birthday party, as if nothing happened and we had a healthy relationship. I, of course, declined to meet them. They blamed me for making it hard for everyone, me included. My father explained that they were 'afraid to text me' during the last half of year because I forbid them talking about school, my social life and housing and therefore they had nothing to talk about. It made me wonder if I didn't overdo it with these conditions. But then I remembered how other parents, parents of my friends behave - they write their children to not forget warm clothes when it gets cold. They remind them of regular medical checkups. They ask if their kids don't need anything. Heck, they could at least ask once a month if I'm still alive. But no. Let's blame it on me and my stupid boundaries. I don't feel loved by them even though they might love me in their eyes. When I was still meeting them, once a week, I always felt worse after meeting them than before that. The worst thing about our relationship is me wondering if I did the right thing. Everybody will tell you that family is the most important thing and you'll regret every second not spent with it. Maybe...they are just not my family, even though we are blood related.

[jessw]

I am a (older) teen and I used to have this kind of relationship with my father. I have stopped fighting.
I super relate to what they said about "winning the battle, losing the war".
At this point, my main goal for our relationship is not love & connection. The goal is to tolerate the control, disrespect and belittlement untill I move out in less than a year. I have checked out.
Dont think not fighting means you have "won", because you have most likely lost completely.

[vickivale]

Not a parent, but a teacher of tweens. If a student is being disruptive in class, I like to talk to them one-on-one and express concern and let them talk about it. If they don’t want to talk, I let them know that they don’t have to talk to me, but I’m here if they want to talk, I’ll sit with them in silence for a bit, and if nothing, then I tell them I have to get back to the class, and they can come in when they’re ready. Almost every time as I’m getting up, they open up. By taking that pressure off, they are more willing to talk.
I also give them the choice to talk to another adult in the building, keeping in mind they might not be able to talk to them right away.

[jon]

Malaysian here. When I was watching that Freaky Friday clip, my thoughts were "That's a really patient mom who despite being a jackass, still is way better than my mom".

That's how f****ed up my family is. Which is why I will be cutting off my family and changing my name as soon as I enough money. I'm also thinking of getting a lawyer to get back my savings which they insist on holding in an account I don' have any access to. Probably won't work, but I'll try.

[poonyaTara]

14:59 One thing I noticed babysitting my fiancé's nieces and nephews before my marriage is that my prospective siblings-in-law consistently underestimated their children. I think that seeing our children in active roles in our community--whether it be in a play or band or playing sports--helps correct for our parental tendency to see not who our children are when we look at them but an amalgamation of who they are and who they used to be. Our neighbors have a privilege we lack--the privilege of getting to see who our children are without the baggage of who they were.

[juliakees]

I used to struggle with my son's behavior when he was a teenager. I learned about giving choices to him both positive and negative. I let him know what the consequences for negative choices were and the rewards for positive choices, and about setting boundaries and the rules. It took all the anger and frustration out of the interaction with him, because he understood the rules and that all I had to do was follow through with either the consequences or rewards for the decisions he made.

[teesh]

My rules are...'don't die, and no destruction of person ( including yourself) and property. Respect, health and happiness is first because you cant thrive if you're too busy surviving. I need them to know first and foremost that 'right now you are hurting, that behaviour is not good but you are good.'
Why are these friggen hard rules to follow? Why did I just see my son yesterday throw his toy on the ground in frustration, turn around, kick the door in frustration, turn around again and trip on the toy he just threw down and yell at me because he believed it was somehow my fault because I told him off for drawing on the walls? How did you break every essential rule in the space of 5 seconds? And how did that same son just the day before say 'I love yiu mummy. Good job with cleaning the bedroom' and share his cookies he won in class with his brother without prompting?

[tikidale]

This hits home so hard for me. My step daughter and her mother butt heads constantly and it’s so clearly a power struggle exactly as you’re describing. I’ve found myself being drawn into it time and time again until I realized it would never work. I changed my personal tactics. I’d mirror her during conversations so as not to tower over her. I’d ask permission and questions, and repeat back non judgmentally. Ultimately I came to realize that I required next to no validation from my teen. Often we get heated because we’re not getting “respect.” This can feel disempowering for some parents and they don’t like it, so they demand respect and adherence to rules to get it. (Can you tell I’m fascinated by the topic? Lol. Wish I could afford to go back to school and help people on a larger scale.)

[Misshowzat]

The problem I have is a divorced brother who acts exactly like this & refuses to help with anything or connect period despite the fact that we had a close relationship before

[PhantomQueenOne]

My father used to force me to keep my door open, and my mother used to go though my stuff and throw everything SHE didn't find important. It pissed me off so bad. I had zero privacy. I was told I could have privacy when I moved out.

[CJ-hhgx]

So I don't have children, but this was very much a struggle I had with my mom when I was a teenager. I did a lot of stupid things, listened to a lot of people who were struggling in the same ways. Eventually, my relationship with her improved and we're much closer now. We have both made apologies for things that were said and done then. I look to those people that I listened to then and a lot of them aren't doing well and they're alone. Work has to be done on BOTH SIDES of the conflict.

[reese]

I call junior high "the hell years." Older teens have their issues too but the moodiness of tweens and younger teens is the worst. 😮‍💨

[GaleForceKaif]

I wish someone could have shown this to my parent when I was a teenager. Then again, our problems started well before my teenage years, so it probably wouldn't have done much good after all.

[eleanor]

Love you guys! Everyone you're in a relationship CRAVES healthy, consistent, lovingly communicated boundaries (especially children and teens). 😊

[blairurton]

Oh wow! Thank you! I’m dealing with 2 very strong-willed children. They aren’t teens yet, but I’m not looking forward to it. I have trouble with the “either/or” thinking. The idea of choices just blows my mind! 🤯

[tauIrrydah]

There are so many facebook reels of parents removing doors. I didn't know it came from a movie.

[violettn]

My man-child husband starts comparison statements (pee pee measurements, not physically) with our 19-year-old. Almost regretting, marrying a spoiled, only child.

[mzshastalibra]

GIBBS! also I needed this episode of mended light ALOT right now. it is validating and enlightening.

[cieraleal]

You have the most beautiful eyes n ur wife has the most beautiful smile😍n i really enjoy your videos n learn new things from them❤thank u guys