How to set consequences for your teenager (follow THESE 5 steps)

In today’s video we’re talking about discipline and setting consequences for our teenager. A lot of parents wonder how to set consequences so their teenager will stop or start doing a behavior the parent wants them to do. This can be a little tricky sometimes, but in this video I’ll give you the 5 steps you need to take to set appropriate consequences with your teenager.

Setting consequences is about teaching your child what you want them to know or what they need to know in most cases. It’s not about punishment, it’s about teaching. When we can remember this, it helps us to set appropriate natural consequences as a teaching tool not as an arbitrary punishment.

We also have to ask ourselves in each moment “what does my teenager need to learn here and how can I help them learn it in the best way possible?” Sometimes we resort to how our parents disciplined us and assume that it’s what we should do with our child, but if your parents didn’t do these 5 steps I’m going to give you, then I want you to re-think following the same form of discipline your parents used with you….because there is a better way!

Check out the video here to learn how to process your emotions the RIGHT way:

If you'd like more help setting consequences for your teenager, click on the link below:

Click here for the book "What do you Stand for" by Barbara Lewis

Click here for the book "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz

[hopeful]

What if they don't wanna go out and meet friends, they don't wanna communicate they don't care about anything anyone at all? They don't even wanna know you, how do you even start to communicate and understand what's going on? 😢

[toinfinityatleast]

What if they just will not have a conversation. What if any attempts to start any kind of conversation or met with anger?

[jodipirelli]

OK so I’m partway through three minutes when you make your expectations clear weather in writing or verbally and you asked me do you understand? Yes are you sure yes do you have any questions or anything confusing to use or something that you want to add no 10 minutes later they break tthey break the rule.

[christromblychristen]

Why didn't I discover you 3 years ago! Thank you.

[thehappymommyguideu]

What if your teen is dating someone you don’t approve of and want them to wait until they are financially independent to date that person?

[planning_with_dalia]

What if I've tried all these things and they've been punished they've had their things taken away and all they always say is I don't know to everything what can I do??

[ReneeChase-zb]

My son Lies ! He’s still vaping 😢 took 4 from his school bad, when he FINALLY left it alone for a minute. What’s next??? 😞😞😞

[MsArrika]

So my husbands nephew, hes 15 and the entire family is all out dysfunctional so he has no idea what family should be or how to be respectful. We live with our grandmother and she has custody of him and she has no idea how to set boundariea, keep them, or how to issue discipline. She just says hes fknna do it anyway and throws her hands up until shes on the edge of unleashing her anger in a. Unheakthy outburst that does no good whatsoever. I can clearly see the issues enabling his inappropriate behaviors but as far as consequences i dont have the first clue what to tell her. When the adults ariund him as inspiring his delinquency its hard ti say to him this is not okay. Like the otber dah i ck fronted him finally for repeatedly coming into our room whenever he pleases and taking whatever he wants to take. He jhst said, i dont know i was mad so i ddstroyed your shit. All i could think to say was you really sound like a child right now. Didnt make any kind of impressuon on him as he proceeded to ransack our things the moment we had to leave to run an errand. Being tbe married in aunt also makes me his favorite target. So, im on the verge of losing my cool with him myself.

[homatanin]

Thank you for the advice and nice tips. Please talk slowly. Also, the sound quality is not good, it’s muffled and has feedback.

[SunniMixon]

What if you're kid doesn't want to hang with friends or everr go outside? What consequences then??

[michelinamitchell]

What do you mean, let them know they have a choice when they don't follow expectations? Do you mean they have choice in punishment? Or that they have a choice to do the expectation and if they choose not to, then they get the punishment?

[Ky-yrlh]

My teenager is bigger than me and doesn’t listen to me omg help lord Jesus