Being around people who don't understand narcissism

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[imbgpzv]

Sometimes the enable-talking, coming from the narc-ignorant people feels like abuse itself 😢

[smushbrain]

Being involved with those who have an inability to recognize evil would be considered dangerous for myself. I can’t let them in. Nice or not, if you aren’t able to understand, we can’t relate.

[andreahanson]

Others minimize, defend or make excuses. They have no idea of the extent of the abuse and how the mask works. They also don’t see how actions contradict their words. People trust what people say and don’t think other adults would lie.

[rhondaj]

I left my narc ex while he was at work. Left a note and mentioned I was afraid of him. He would sit and stare at me while I tried to sleep - that was why I was afraid. In court, his lawyer brought up that I said I was afraid in that note. He said, “Was there ever police called? I see no record of violence.” I said “Abuse is more than fists, sir. I suggest you educate yourself.” I won everything I asked for. 😁. 8 years free.

[maoriprincezz]

It’s super frustrating that people don’t understand, it feels like you speak another language…

[abracadaverous]

Every once in a while, someone tells me that "all mothers" love their children and want the best for them. I ask them how they survived the specific sorts of maternal abuse I endured. They get very confused and tell me their mother wasn't like that at all. Then I inform them my mother wasn't like theirs at all. Usually they walk away from that interaction with some very unsettling questions they hadn't ever considered.

[irulphc]

I come from a middle eastern background where narcissistic men are commonplace. Mutual friends who are middle eastern tried to convince me that I needed to be a better wife and change my attitude in order to deal with my narcissistic ex husband. I chose my sanity and freedom instead and cut them all out of my life.

[allenone]

Remarkably accurate. It is so painful to be mostly alone in a world who doesnt have a clue.
Thank you Dr Ramani

[oc]

The struggle for me is being around the "psychologically privileged" (great term BTW) and not feeling less than, damaged or judged. Take dating for instance. Some people will say that family is everything to them so if you're not close to yours it's a deal breaker. I know that those people are not for me, but it does feel hurtful to be judged by something that you could not control.

[juliablair]

Sadly I was one who did not fully understand the toxic childhood my husband and I endured until I stumbled across your channel. I would guilt my husband and son into spending time with my family when they didn’t want to be around my “mean” siblings. Now there is a new rule in our home…I will never, ever ask my husband or son to spend time around “mean” people ever again. My relationship with my husband instantly became lighter and easier. And my 18 year old’s respect for me when up a several notches. Thankfully my husband has been a tremendous support as I navigate boundaries for my extended family., .as he saw the truth all along. I had blinders and made excuses for every mean family member for decades. No more. I can’t unsee the truth. The bell has been rung. The eggs have been scrambled.

[hxirek]

If someone hears it and empathetically listens and just feels shocked, horrified and bewildered then I can live with that. If, however, that person starts to excuse the narc and enable them then I quickly try to get rid of such a person from my life. Not worth associating with invalidating m****s.

[Mister_Listener]

I have learned that you really cant trust people who dont understand narcissism, dont even GO THERE with any strangers, and be careful what you share with coworkers and friends! I feel like i lost a ton of friends because i shared with some of my experiences. People ended up engaged but by the time the conversation was over they were judging ME as the problematic and needy one. It is better to keep it a secret when you have suffered abuse, unfortunately.

[happybergner]

It doesn't seem like many people DO understand!!
I just keep quiet.
I had a friend say to me, "IF what you are telling me is true, you are being horribly abused."

[marieborchardt]

When I try to explain my narcisstic experiences to people who seem sympathic but, I can tell, don't really "get it", I always end with "and I sincerely hope it NEVER happens to you".

[privateprivate]

Talking to most people about narcissistic abuse is like telling a cat the value of a vase it just broke. It just doesn’t register. Might actually have a better chance of a cat actually getting it. Side note — I love cats. Actually have higher expectations of them, at times.

[burnyizland]

I told my best friend in university about what I'd been though. Her response, word for word: "That kind of thing doesn't happen in my world."
We are no longer friends. I credit that moment as the death knell.

[adventureswithwolfdogs]

My narcissist mother always told me growing up that”I was the problem”not the world..now I know she was wrong..I am not the problem in this world…I actually SEE it for what it is..a lie

[shelley]

I had a conflict with my neighbor yesterday. She started going off track and tried to make me somehow responsible for her feelings about something else. Thanks to Dr. Ramani and the last 6 months of her program, I called my neighbor out on it, and stopped her in her tracks. I told her either we stick to the issue at hand, or the conversation was over. She didn't know what to say. It felt good to stand up for myself and not get sucked into other people's guilt trips. (story of my life) Thanks Dr. Ramani, for helping me to get my power back. :)

[rene]

I have been harshly judged by others who have never experienced narcissistic abuse. They think I am “ being mean” for not “ forgiving” my abuser!!! Of course it makes me feel shamed and often angry because I am for being categorized as a “ bad person”. How ironic. How awful. Only when I went to a therapist that specialized in abusive relationships did I trust my feelings and stand my ground. So empowering.

[-cMc-]

Be your own advocate protect yourself and do not throw caution to the wind. This video is a reminder that none of us are alone in this.