Is Everyone Else Normal? Feeling Painfully Different

Much is said about the virtues and pleasures of individuality but let's also admit to how frankly lonely and frightening it can be to find ourselves (yet again) in a peculiar minority, where the differences between us and others strike us as bewildering rather than emboldening, how do we alleviate these isolating thoughts?

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FURTHER READING

“Much is said about the virtues and pleasures of individuality – of being someone who stands out from the crowd and delights in their particularity. But let’s also admit to how frankly lonely and frightening it can be to find ourselves (yet again) in a peculiar minority, where the differences between us and others strike us as bewildering rather than emboldening, when for example:
— Everyone wants to gossip but we prefer generosity and forgiveness.
— Everyone is at ease but we’re melancholy and self-conscious.
— Everyone is cheerful but we can’t let go of anxiety and apprehension.”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Natalia Ramos

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Graeme Probert

[noobauditor]

Loneliness is simply the price we'll have to pay for a certain complexity of mind - - - absolutely beautiful qoute, thank you as always

[NatalyaMachinskaya]

"Given how many books were written because their authors couldn't find anyone to talk to." Oh, this last phrase nearly made me cry. Such a wonderful and profound video

[imperialSukandar]

"Don't compare what inside you with other people outside" this quote helped me from unending loop of comparison, and i have one in mind for coping as poignant as it is for what i called desperation to be normal "a web to a spider is normal but to a fly, it's chaotic" i think profoundly, as a being, normal is an illusion, i wouldn't call people with autism that they're "not normal" we have our own portion, and we are good enough.

[nidhi]

Omg the timing!! Everything I am going through.. word by word! Thank you for sharing this!

[bboyneon]

The last line! My my!
"Because their authors couldn't find anyone to talk to."
Finding our tribe is difficult as it's always been i guess.

[SilentTrip]

I always thought I was too different from everyone else and the weird one out.

turns out, we are all as weird as each other... some people just suppress their true self for social & cultural expectations

[magadahraj_ajatashatru]

The author of these essays just don't realise how much he is helping people to not go the sucidal way❤

[_helmi]

The only common thing about individuality is the desire to be accepted for who you are, the good and the bad, inside to outside.

[lazarus]

Guess what: everyone is a weirdo if you look closely. And that's a good thing.

[takeuchi]

I love the slow and steady narration of this one, as opposed to the usual slightly more fast paced ones.

[evaroche]

My Mother once said the time will come when you embrace being different. Look closely, there is always a kindred spirit nearby. ❤

[gogee]

That was very encouraging. I’m realizing more and more that I don’t need my loneliness to go away but make peace with it, find some comfort and dwell on its good sides.

[Team_Slacker]

To be reminded that I lived different than most have always make me feel weirdly vulnerable, but I know I'm not alone....

[gabrielschaldach]

The most frightening thought I have is of the romance landscape, where everyone else seems to either be in a couple or very content with their situation, and I seem to be in an unending search for a partner that I will never find. This makes me feel lonely in this way. Even though I try to remain hopeful.
I also am aware of the fact that the worst way to try to find a lifelong partner is to constantly look for it, which makes me try to not even think about it and just enjoy the things I like. But it is a thought that never goes away

[kimberknutson]

I have been this way for 60 years, so I am pretty accustomed to it. As always, excellent, School of Life. Thank you.

[Jenesis]

I grew up hating feeling like an alien. I didn’t think like a normal girl or act like one. It bothered me for decades until I turned 50. If i was like a normal girl, I’d probably live a normal life path (falling in love, marriage, children etc.). There is nothing wrong with being in the majority. Thankfully i ended up accepting my minority mindset and lived in peace with my life’s path. I don’t have what most women have but i live the way that I prefer and not being forced to be “normal”.

[Herzankerkreuz]

I have been 'different' all my life . Five and a half decades of being the weirdo. Trust me, you'll get used to it, and furthermore, you'll actually get to a point where being 'different ' is what makes you better and more virtue than the rest. Wouldn't change a thing.

[Johnnyapplseed]

I have always felt different my whole life for being very introverted but what really made me feel like I was from another planet was when I started losing my hair at only 17 years old. I became an anomaly and people would sometimes stare at me in public probably wondering why my youthful face was adjacent to a hairstyle of an old man. Now that I’m in my 20s it’s not as big of a deal as it used to be but I don’t care much about being normal anymore, there is so much more to life that exist outside the societal expectations we cooperate with.

[lqpdbl]

It’s not the loneliness that makes me feel anxious. In fact, I feel lonely because I am anxious. Anxiety is in the core of all my actions and thoughts.
I’d still feel anxious if I belong to a majority because I know deep inside of me there’s something that pursues greater things. So pursuing the complexity of mind itself is anxiety driven. Whatever way I take, anxiety is around me (being in the majority to avoid feeling lonely or pursuing the solitary journey).
I don’t think we can ever differentiate anxiety and self-consciousness. The question I should ask myself is not “how not to feel lonely”, but “where to find a compromise in between my anxiety and self-rationalization”. Which “form of anxiety” most makes sense to me logically.

[PokkiXLolita]

Really needed this, thank you for posting