6 Reasons Highly Intelligent People Struggle Finding Love

From Sherlock Holmes to Shikamaru Nara, the highly intelligent have a harder time finding love for various reasons. Do you consider yourself a highly intelligent person? Do you wonder why it has been so hard for you to find love or keep love? Finding love for intelligent people could be very tough, because intelligent people are more likely to analyze and overthink things, more likely to choose their independence, more likely to prioritize career goals, more likely to have higher but unrealistic standards, and the list goes on. If you relate to these signs, maybe this video can help affirm some of the personal challenges you're going through.

Writer: Sara Del Villar
Script Editor: Denise Ding
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Animator: Ira Alifia
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

References:

[Psychgo]

Which anime is your fav? Mine is Jujutsu Kaisen!

[jonathanbrooks]

"The intelligent person understands that their happiness is their own responsibility, not their partners" nailed it.

[ShaddyRaddy]

Finding someone who is emotionally intelligent secured and not manipulative is the real challenge.

[guitaro]

Something worth pointing out: The socially awkward smart guy trope is not representative of all high IQ people. There are those who are socially graceful, not syper analytical, and easily find love. They just happen to be extremely smart. They may leverage their intelligence to figure out how to thrive socially. The awkward smart guy trope is inspired by high iq people who apply their intelligence in non social pursuits, like the hard sciences. Thus, high iq is not synonomous with issues socializing, just that those who are that way are over represented in the high iq conversation.

[Tejas]

Hello fellow highly intelligent single people😂

[MetalHeadbanger]

7. Highly intelligent people are much more aware of possible consequences when a relationship turns sour and often find that it's not worth the risk.

[onyxflame]

7. High intelligence doesn't necessarily mean high tact. We're used to being smarter than other people, and tend to assume they won't understand us. So either we never talk to begin with, or we sound like a know it all, which doesn't make us very popular.

Also, usually intelligent people want to tell the truth as they see it, and forget to think about how it may affect someone else's feelings. For all our overthinking, sometimes we think too much about the wrong things.

[BooDotBoo]

I'm intelligent, but I'm not sure I'd call myself highly intelligent, but I definitely do relate to this. I overthink about everything when I date, I love my independence and want to make sure it's still something I have in a relationship, I prioritize my goals and plans, I have high standards (that people try to talk me into lowering all the time to "not be alone"), I have good boundaries after some working on them, I love with my heart, but my mind has to agree with it, and I don't mind being single, so right now in my life, I'm single by choice. Not even sure I'll ever date again, tbh.

[indomee]

0:45 they overthink
1:49 they love their indepentence
2:33 they prioritize their job
3:11 they have high standards
3:44 they think with their head, not their gut
4:27 they are single by choice

Waiting for the right one is way better than risking your peace of mind❤

[AstraVoid]

"Loneliness is often the byproduct of a gifted mind"

[psyekl]

#2 They love their independence. <--- that right there. This goes hand-in-hand with #4 "high standards" where I look for someone else who can maintain interesting conversations and also appreciates their own independence. That is where #6 "Single by choice" comes into play.

[Mr.MR]

I can relate. When I am more sleepy, and when by brain is just too tired to think, my whole concept of love just switches.

[Embeeech]

This is painfully accurate. I’m not claiming to be overly intelligent or anything, but after years of psychological growth, hard truths and life experience, I have set almost impossibly high standards for both dating and friendships. I’m very kind and friendly with everyone I cross paths with but it’s been very difficult to find “close” friends and partners that I actually trust with all of my personal growth and knowledge. I will always prefer being solo over settling for someone/something that doesn’t feel right, though. Single by choice for now and loving it. ❤️ (loved this video btw!)

[lyndonlives]

I think all of this gets even harder when the intelligent person has never had the good fortune of personally experiencing a good relationship previously. Then they're much less likely to even feel motivated to pursue one at all, especially as they get older.

[laiamorgan]

4:34 Leebit! Wasn‘t expecting him to accompany us in this video. Love this small detail

[neodhani]

Amazing! So relevant and helpful, I'm this intelligent geeky person who analyses every little thing in detail & have been taking so long to just act on my feelings and make a move on the girl I love. I'll do it now ❤ Thanks for boosting my confidence! 💖

[dyderich]

This explains so much about my wife. She is an incredibly intelligent person. She simply decided to love me. I brought into the relationship everything she lacked, vehicle care, lawn maintenance, and grabbing things off high shelves. It has worked for 22 years. Also she says, it is too much work to train a replacement and the kids say she can't fire me.

[ChicagoFaucet.etc.]

I think a major point that was overlooked in this video is that since intelligent people don't see the usefulness in pointless socializing, and they fill their lives with what they see as worthy pursuits - regardless of whether anyone else is there with them - they spend a lot of time alone. A majority of their time alone. This drastically reduces the odds of finding a romantic partner.

[josievaleri]

This video cleared up insights drastically thank you so much. Felt alone in the tendency to use intellect as a means of understanding intuitive reasoning.

[pepperonipizza]

I agree with all of these but tbh the one thing that made finding a partner so difficult was probably my dad's advice. He told me I had the power to choose whoever I wanted to love, none of that "the heart wants what it wants" or uncontrollable hormones and emotions as he put it and it's been that way ever since. 😅