How to Stop Being a Slave to the Opinions of Other People

Access the transcript and art used in the video:

Prefer to Support us with a One-Time Donation?
Bitcoin: 1P6ntukFENP1nvEf4bJNj3tsDEuiSyUFW6

[jeffreynicol]

Another good quote I like to keep in mind:
Never take criticism from someone you would never ask advice from.

[fearthehoneybadger]

Caring about other's opinions too much can cripple you, however, not caring can keep you from recognizing, and learning, from mistakes. A middle path needs to be followed where you learn to separate destructive fools from those who are alerting you to errors in your actions.

[brucejackson]

"Better to be disliked for what one is, than liked for what one is not."

[UnschoolingCOM]

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

[Mikilangelo]

Here is a related Aesop’s fable that I heard when I was a kid and it changed my life:

A man and his son were once going with their donkey to market. As they were walking along by his side a countryman passed them and said:
“You fools, what is a donkey for but to ride upon?”

So the man put the boy on the donkey, and they went on their way. But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said:
“See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides.”

So the man ordered his boy to get off, and got on himself. But they hadn’t gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other:
“Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along.”

Well, the man didn’t know what to do, but at last he took his boy up before him on the donkey. By this time they had come to the town, and the passers-by began to jeer and point at them. The man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at.

One men said: “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey of yours - you and your hulking son?”

The man and boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought, until at last they cut down a pole, tied the donkey’s feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to their shoulders. They went along amid the laughter of all who met them until they came to a bridge, when the donkey, getting one of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the boy to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle the donkey fell over the bridge, and his forefeet being tied together, he was drowned.

The original moral of the story is: Try to please everyone, and you will please no one.

Personally, it taught me that 100 people can have 100 opinions, so by pure logic other people's opinion can't be a good reference point to be used as a personal compass.

[UnschoolingCOM]

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” ~ Oscar Wilde, [De Profundis]

[Moonam]

"Thinking is difficult, that's why people judge" - Carl Jung

[lennybrewster]

I stopped caring what people think about my life choices and decision making when i was 17. I'm in my 40s now and it's one of the most mentally freeing things you can ever do for yourself. You'll find the more people conform, the more miserable they become. Live well.

[svtaile]

I stopped caring what others think of me the hard way. I overheard a co-worker speak horrendous things about me. Although I didn’t agree with anything we was saying, it affected me tremendously, knowing that someone who I treated really good and worried about, could speak so ill about me. Needless to say I eventually thanked him for having changed my life for the best. I freed myself from worrying about other’s opinions.

[TechOutAdam]

The best quote I ever heard was, "Don't take advice or criticism from those you'd never trade places with."

[stlstinger]

Put into a simple statement "No one has any authority over you unless you give it to them." It is therefore incumbent upon an individual, realizing that they are their own vessel and vehicle of thought, to not give any authority over them to anyone else unless it is respectfully earned. To those whom we give that authority we reserve the title of 'mentor'.

[baystgrp]

This is a terrific video. I graduated from Stanford Business School and spent two decades working in Silicon Valley. I’m no psychologist but my assessment of many of the characters encountered in that time was a collection of narcissists, psychopaths, and arrogant types whose world view was measured by how much money they made, how much control over others they exercised, and the belief that the sun rose and set on their foreheads.
I never cared whether those types “liked” me; I knew them for what they were. This video lays out why everyone should step back and consider whether what anyone else thinks of you is immaterial. Live your own life; it is shorter than you think, and it’s yours.

[Broonzied]

"Listening like a stone", is particularly useful online. Trolls and people making abusive comments are best ignored. Starve them of the attention they crave and you will save yourself from a lot of stress at the same time.

[sepo]

I wish I had heard this truth when I was a teenager.
It simplifies everything in your life as soon as you start to understand, that you will never become what others expect you to be. You are always you and that in itself should suffice.

[shengyi]

Steve Jobs also said the same thing -

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
Everything else is secondary."

[Originalman]

Great video. Being in an office environment is one way to ensure you are forced to contend with everyone’s opinions. A man who lays bricks often walks taller and with more confidence than a man who works in a cubicle and is forced to cow tow to the many opinions around him.

[jase]

The timing of this is perfect. I live in a busy town centre. Some local young men have decided that they like to tell me what their assessment of my sexual preference is as I walk by, and in not very kind language. I don't know these men, nor have they ever seen me doing anything apart from walking to the shops. Their words hurt me and I find myself thinking about it for most of the rest of the day, and then I get angry at myself for letting them ruin my day. I was bullied in school, a long time ago, so this kind of thing hits me hard. I've been working on my confidence and self-improvement and I'm getting better at 'being a stone'. I may even be brave enough one day to say something funny to them. I was thinking "You're not my type, love". This video gave me another boost. I took notes. Thank you.

[betterchapter]

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.

[highonlife]

I feel like the anonymity of social media has normalized rash and harsh judgment in my generation and its made us all paranoid

[Fair-to-Middling]

And really, it's all in our heads how much other people even care about our latest hairstyle or what Instagram post we made. Think about how much YOU are concerned about yourself (how you look and what you say), THAT is how much other people think of themselves too.