Do You Have Relationship OCD?

Do You Have Relationship OCD? / Relationship OCD, or R-OCD, is a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder where people experience intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors related to worries, fears, and doubts in their relationships. While R-OCD can apply to any kind of relationship, we’re going to focus on romantic ones. Today I’ll be teaching you what exactly Relationship OCD is, why you might have it, and the top evidence-based ways to make lasting change.

Chapters
0:00 Intro Do You Have Relationship OCD?
2:08 What is Relationship OCD?
7:08 What’s an Intrusive Thought?
12:31 Symptoms of R-OCD
12:45 Relationship-Focused R-OCD
14:40 Partner-Focused R-OCD
17:20 R-OCD in Action
24:41 Why Do People Have R-OCD?
27:17 Treatment for R-OCD
28:51 #1: Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)
31:18 #2: Imagery Rescripting
32:21 #3: Cognitive Reconstruction
34:19 Let’s Talk About Maladaptive Beliefs for a Moment
38:58 Actionable Tip for Cognitive Restructuring

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Resources for Do You Have Relationship OCD?

You Might Not Realize You’re Suffering from Unhealed Trauma:

How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Personal Relationships:

The Secrets to Effectively Dealing with Stress and Anxiety: Part Two

Research for Do You Have Relationship OCD?

Handbook of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Across the Lifespan, edited by J. Abramowitz, D. McKay, & E. Storch, Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.

Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts by Sally M. Winston PsyD and Martin N. Seif PhD

Doron, Guy & Derby, Danny & Szepsenwol, Ohad & Nahaloni, Elad & Moulding, Richard. (2016). Relationship Obsessive–Compulsive Disorder: Interference, Symptoms, and Maladaptive Beliefs. Frontiers in Psychiatry. 7. 10.3389/fpsyt.2016.00058.

“Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP),” International OCD Foundation

Hezel DM, Simpson HB. Exposure and response prevention for obsessive-compulsive disorder: A review and new directions. Indian J Psychiatry. 2019 Jan;61(Suppl 1):S85-S92. doi: 10.4103/psychiatry.IndianJPsychiatry_516_18. PMID: 30745681; PMCID: PMC6343408.

“What is Imagery Rescripting?” Centre for Clinical Interventions:

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[martyggen]

This talk was an incredible eye opener. Especially when you described what “catastrophic script” that was on point. This is happening to me right now with a man I have been with for almost 9 months. I caused us to break up when in fact that’s not even what I wanted to begin with. It’s very hard and I know where it stems from. The challenge is how to fix it. But thank you for this powerful video of information.

[hootdesignstudio]

Thank you Abby for your lightening fast email response and podcast recommendations on the topic. LOVE your shows! Appreciate you.

[danaknight]

I struggle with how much of this I should share with my partner. Keeping my fears hidden doesn’t seem right, but he isn’t the cause of them.

[SS-ints]

I didn’t think I had ocd because I don’t have to check things repeatedly. My ocd is mainly relationships and germaphobe but I don’t repeat things if it’s unnecessary-I don’t have that type of urge. When I feel betrayed I will replay the betrayals over and over and can’t shake it off.

I also have adhd I believe, with time blindness so sometimes when I take time away it’s not actually much time, maybe a half day or two, which ends up feeling like a week or two! I thought indecisiveness was adhd but I’m starting to wonder if it’s ocd- I freeze. My youngest son is doing the same.

What’s really difficult is because I know I’m this way, I ignore red flags because I can’t tell when it’s me or if it’s them.

When I am betrayed or feel betrayed I end up saying really mean things and making things 1000 x worse. Usually to the point of not being able to repair.

I didn’t have ocd until my second boyfriend cheated on me, my first boyfriend also cheated on me and 20 years later I still carry that ROCD no matter how much therapy I do. Ssri didn’t help either.

Please help with guidance tips? ❤

[SS-ints]

There’s no stability with ROCD. It’s horrible. I feel that mine could disappear with a very stable patient and understanding man who would take time to get to know me and be a safe and consistent person in my life for a few years, but it’s not realistic. Everyone wants to rush dating.

I can’t watch romance movies with a partner either, wow, so insightful. I feel even more crazy. Lol.

[SS-ints]

There’s no stability with ROCD. It’s horrible. I feel that mine could disappear with a very stable patient and understanding man who would take time to get to know me and be a safe and consistent person in my life for a few years, but it’s not realistic. Everyone wants to rush dating.

[MoxyRavenGroup]

As person who has suffered severely for 50 yrs w "Just Right" / "Perfectionism" / "Symmetry" I can't help but have the opinion that ROCD is a softball OCD theme. I would switch my themes with ROCD any day!!

[fluffynyasquirrel]

i have rocd and bpd i hate my life i hope i can marry my boyfriend

[SS-ints]

There’s no stability with ROCD. It’s horrible. I feel that mine could disappear with a very stable patient and understanding man who would take time to get to know me and be a safe and consistent person in my life for a few years, but it’s not realistic. Everyone wants to rush dating.