Partner Focused OCD | Treatment (ROCD)

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For information purposes only. Does not constitute clinical advice. Consult your local medical authority for advice.

Have you heard of partner focused OCD? It’s in the family of ROCD (relationship OCD). Essentially, an individual struggling with this may focus on aspects of their partner that really cause a lot of anxiety and obsessions. It can make them doubt the relationship. It can be their intelligence, physical aspects, and many other reasons why the relationship may not be right for them.

Let us go through what partner focused OCD looks like and how to do the treatment.

[ocdandanxiety]

Do you feel anxious in your relationship? 🤭

[littleearthquakes]

I came here as a compulsion. I'm in therapy but I caved today and looked up ROCD. The anxiety and guilt gets so high sometimes that I need a break.

[kevinrodriguez]

I have a deep love for my spouse, she is nothing short of amazing to me. I have no doubt that I love her, yet when she doesn't look a certain way I get anxious and start having intrusive thoughts about her beauty or why dont I find her attractive. Other days she dresses nice, and all my thoughts go away. I feel so shallow and disgusted with myself. So I tell myself I don't care how she looks she is the love of my life and when she doesn't look a certain way I start having the anxious thoughts again, it is so debilitating. I whish I could aways see her beautiful regardless of how she looks that day and not deal with these ridiculous thoughts. But well there's no wishing here, only exposure and response prevention and my prayers will become true. Thanks for all your help my friend, you are an expert in your field of work and a blessing to us with ocd.

[cmscior]

Constantly obsessed over his qualities. I feel crazy. You explained this so well.

[SilentFaces]

This is highly relatable that I tear up. I feel happy I know what the diagnosis is but then of course my doubt comes in to tell me 'maybe it isn't this..' Thank you for the informative video.

[howtopasstime]

Could you talk about the role of avoidance in OCD? As far as rOCD goes, it is always making me want to avoid the person or acting a certain way or isolate myself from them. My rOCD comes in so many different ways, from fixating on flaws, to obsessing over the balance in effort, obsessing that they’re not the right person, that they’re losing interest in me, that they are (ironically) obsessed with bad things, obsessing that they might be abusive

[rainystone]

My ROCD morphs from relationship-focused to partner-focused and now it’s on parter-focused. You’re right, it’s tough to find OCD informed therapists (which blows my mind). I found 2 OCD therapists that fall under my insurance and when I reached out to them, I received radio silence. It’s been discouraging, but I send my current therapist your videos and it helps him understand as well, so thank you. I’ll check out your course, no idea if I can afford it but it’s worth the look!

[martinlarranaga]

This is what I've been struggling with for more than a year now. A looot of progress made, and I've used your tips extensively in my treatment for my ROCD, but damn it's really really hard. Thanks for all you do Nathan 💕

[ALTheFreeMan]

I tip my cap to anyone who was able to actually form a relationship while dealing with ROCD. I believe I have ROCD and that’s the reason I’m in my 40s and never married. I’ve dated good women, but there was always something that wasn’t right that caused me to believe they weren’t “the one”. It really sucks because ROCD makes you think you’re “settling” unless you meet someone who is absolutely perfect, and while I know perfection doesn’t exist, ROCD is a wall that I just can’t seem get over.

[aracellys]

Just found your page, as a therapist I love hearing more & more about ROCD. I hope we see more studies in the future! Keep up the great channel :)

[delightfulasmr]

Yep, wow!! Just found your YouTube a couple days ago from Instagram and learning so much already from you. This is another type of OCD that I just found out I have/experience. Had no idea this was an actual sub-category (whatever it's called) of OCD. I am happy in my relationship, but I often find myself obsessing and noticing small things. I love the comment section on your channel because people share so much and I really had no idea how many others are so relatable. Thank you Nathan and thank you everybody else for sharing!

[Heyhihello]

I’m going to make Dua for you tonight, Ramadan and layltul Qadr- InshAllah we both catch it 🙏

[zoeanastasia]

I’ve been in the greatest relationship ever firstly I am a anxious person for me to meet someone is so hard, and I finally met someone who makes me feel calm, we got through the honeymoon phase, before ocd I used to have happiness calmness, feeling like home, so happy, now I feel anxious to see him. I feel angry for no reason, I have these doubts, I feel like I don’t like him, if I feel anxious around him it must be something.

[tryingtodobetter]

I have this with my boyfriend, with morality. Since morality is a big thing for me and i want to be on the same page with my partner when it comes to this. I love my boyfriend so damn much but my ocd always just focuses on things he said or did once (most of them being far in the past) and for that he already apologized for and it makes me insane since it feels like there's something between us which is not spoken. But if I'd confront him once again, it would be reassurance seeking and since that's a compulsion I'd rather not do that. Thank you for this video, it kinda opened my eyes to what is going on inside of me and I'm trying to work on my ocd. You helped me a lot!

[farshadmoshksar]

You helped me so much I slayed my OCD monster like a rabid viking thank you 🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺😮

[robertknowles]

I've lost 4 partners to ocd of various themes . I lost the last one to rocd, don't be me. This guy knows his stuff wish I had watched this last year now.

[compagniaelvira]

Totally stuck. Now, after a quick honeymoon phase, I find myself looking for reasons to leave her. The way she looks, what her eyes communicate, the way she laughs, the kind of jokes she makes. It’s like I don’t like her, despite the attraction that occurred. But I don’t actually want to leave her, even though there is a great impulse to leave her inside of me. I am getting crazy, this situation is wearing me out. I look at her and think “she is not right for me at all”. I am walking on eggshells here, because I think she isn’t right for me. Something is off here, and sometimes I feel like I am forcing myself to stay with her because I don’t want to repeat t he experience of breaking up. However, what I am working on right now is “I don’t mind”. Probably this relationship is wrong for me, I may not like her, but it is not a problem, it’s not an issue. I thought I overcame this, but in fact I am still working on lessening my anxiety towards her. Plus, she is making her choice. She wants to stay with me, even though I am not sure, and she knows. Uncertainty is the key here. But I swear, today I was sick of seeing her, listening to her. And you know what? I don’t mind. I am who I am and feel what I feel.

[toni]

Last summer I was really struggling with HOCD and it wasn’t much fun but your videos and this “maybe I am, maybe I am not, so what?” attitude really helped me and I didn’t have intrusive thoughts for months. Now since this fall I’m in a relationship with this wonderful boy and I’m starting to doubt again. I sometimes seem to be looking for reasons not to be with him because I’m always focussing on his flaws. It’s ROCD now but the thoughts and the urgency behind the feeling that I might do something wrong, that I might ignore the signs are just the same. It’s very frustrating right now for me because I thought I had my OCD under control and now I feel like I have to start all over again. I so hope I’ll be able to choose to stay strong and to not do the “easier” thing and just break up.

[sabayasmeen]

You literally show up with another video telling the signs i have been recently experiencing... Thank you for explaining every little thing that even i didnt notice it Thnk you nathan
You are a gem...❤

[MrQuentini]

Knowledge is power, we need it as a foundation. I recommend the books 'Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder' and 'Break Free from OCD, ' I read them throughout my therapy and they taught me all the tools I use today. If we really want to overcome this affliction, we have to commit to change. It's challenging, and unfair, but it's the reality; we have to do what's best for us