Narcissistic Family Enmeshment?

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[catc]

Both of my parents are vulnerable narcissists, and they definitely used enmeshment to manipulate. They don’t open up much themselves, but they’re very invasive and required other family members not to have boundaries.

[Stephanie-nbmp]

My ex husband is a narcissist and his family I described as enmeshed before I even knew it was a thing. How it felt was “THE BLOB” that slowly sucked everything into it including me. I was there with no valid opinion, feelings or say so in how things were. My input not needed when it came to being at our home/property. In fact there was much I wasn’t told about until it was done. They were together a lot and the parents would come stay for however long they wanted. My step and fetch and jumping to everyone’s constant ongoing problems was required but not appreciated. It was like constant crisis mode and someone’s problems was everyone’s problems…but repetitive and never solved. It was exhausting and maddening. And if I had a problem or needed help I was on my own. I felt I was being completely erased towards the end. Scary. Thankfully I am able to solve my problems and handle myself. Funny how when I got divorced and out I have no real problems that aren’t just everyday things that everyone has. Loving the peace I have now.

[cathylaursen]

Hi Dr. Fox my husband suffers from vulnerable narcissism (including confabulation, blame shifting, selective amnesia) and there is serious longterm very unhealthy enmeshment with his family of origin. They encourage the confabulation. Forty years and now understand what is happening. Thank you so much for your work.

[frau_ic]

However, there are some "smart" narcissists who use the method of enmeshment, maybe esp. covert narcs.

[arunima]

I disagree. My ex's father is a textbook case of NPD, the grandiose kind. And the family is completely enmeshed. It acts as a small cult with the father being the cult leader. One of the daughters has a very similar personality. There's no individuation in the family members and they can't function without seeking constant validation from each other.

[pinksalmon]

I disagree…I have NPD family members and there is definitely an enmeshment

[stefaniamirri]

I havent understood the message probably. NPD has enmeshment dynamics around it, as it is codependency based, which creates enmeshment. And it is a mistake to think that the narcissist is not themselves too a codependent, as they came from the same pattern they reproduce in their own setting

[.ammmmm]

Is it good to do this ... when the narcissist starts to make me angry and increase my cortisol levels and stomach pain, I start to insult her.. I think this way can lower my cortisol levels.. she will stay away from me when I start yelling at her back.. I did that because she likes to blame....I have stomach pain 1-2weeks ago, she knew that.. but now I think I feel better and can do some works, she starts again

[jerrybailey]

I got that NPD families tend to be detached, and other's tend to be emotionally, and cognitively enmeshed. Which other's were you referring to Dr. Fox? As always I love your videos..

[fairygurl]

Thanks Doctor Fox for All Your Building Blocks 🤘😁

[le_th_]

What kind of parent does enmesh their child? Is it the parent making the child their "favorite person" like Borderlines tend to do? My older sister has done this to her daughter.

I thought it was something vulnerable narcissists do, but it would make more sense if the parent was borderline.

[michaelsager]

So what I am thinking of as immeshment might actually be dependence

[SSNUTHIN]

I can definitely attest to my family dynamic requiring a difficult to manage amount of caution. Growing up with BPD where all of my siblings and my mother are narcissists often the only option I had when confronting conflict was to self soothe. My mother has trouble with more complex emotions and takes them as a sign of her failure to desensitize us. Over time my privacy became my primary defense against manipulation and emotional exploitation from my mother and siblings and my life got alot less violent.

[Chris-dwgq]

Unless it's your mother, you as a child aren't repelled.

[Grelotmystiqueetal]

When you are enmeshed with a narcissist you have no choice