Letting Go Of The Past

It's simple - We're the one's holding ourselves back with past events we still carry on our backs. The past is a story we keep re-reading day in and day out. Nothing changes because we're stuck in the same chapter. So if we want for things to change, we got to drop the past and turn the page.
Again it's simple and I do understand and believe this to be true, yet dropping the past is probably the hardest thing I've ever attempted to do.
Simple doesn't mean easy and just because something is easy doesn't mean that it's going to be simple.
I've dropped some of my past but if I'm honest I'm still struggling to release the rest that is stuck within me. These old outdated beliefs about myself aren't easy to replace. We tend to relive our past on a daily basis because that's not only how we've learned to function but also to survive. But what used to once serve me is now holding me back. I don't see the same me anymore when I look into the mirror. Honestly, I'm not yet sure what or who it is that I'm seeing but I'm sure it isn't what it used to be. I actually got a feeling it's something better and this is where I am holding myself back, because I do not believe to deserve the good that I am starting to see in myself yet. It's a weird feeling. I am excited one moment, yet sad in the next because I can feel myself dying. Not in the literal sense but in a transformative way. The old me is fading and with her the way she's lived and handled life. It's a scary process because right now I find myself in the middle, in the middle of who I used to be and who I'm becoming. Sometimes I cry and I'm honestly not sure why, but I think I'm griefing myself and that's the thing. Letting go is not just releasing what happened to you and forgiving the people involved, it's a death of yourself. It's a painful journey because you're not just gonna give yourself up without resistance. You're not going down without a fight. But I'm learning that you can't struggle yourself out of struggle. You'll eventually find yourself in a corner with no space to even breathe. You have to learn to relax out of struggle. I am changing, that's life and since I can't do anything against the flow of life, I might as well learn how to flow with it. I'm not the best at it yet, I still find myself under water more times than not but I trust this process, I just need to keep reminding myself of it. This happens for me, not to me.
And even though this part of my journey feels absolutely uncomfortable, I feel a sense of inner peace because I know that this is right. I'm somewhat grateful for my growing pains. I don't know where all of this will take me but I know that I'll arrive. I might be in the middle of a storm right now but this too shall pass. I might be walking through a valley now but I am not alone, cause I know God got me. So I will keep on walking in faith. I may not see the next step but I believe it to be there.
''If he brings you to it, he'll bring you through it.''
And since I asked to be made an instrument of his peace, I trust him to bring me through this mess.
No weapon formed against me shall prosper, that's his promise.
So my promise is to keep on walking, further away from who I used to be
and closer to who I'm supposed to be.
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Music used:
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[JetpacksAudios]

This is what I'm currently experiencing and learning in life. I thought I'd share this with you because you never know who it may help to share your story. Thank you for listening, much love! x

[corpsegirlll]

To be honest, I still struggle with my past. The past hurts so much but yet we still hold onto it because its everything we've known. Its our memories

[chrysa]

You're an angel.I'm glad u exist.Thank u for helping me.Keep going❤

[puzzleduser]

I have learned, that the memories that hurt me most, the past I can't let go, are also my most precious and loving moments. I don't want to let those moments and experiences fade, because although they hurt, they are my favorite ones to remember.
And I can't just leave those people, that keep the past in my life. Because they are my present and in my everyday life. There is especially one person, that I really love, who has hurt me, loved me(not relationship love. the other one.), helped me through rough times, let me cry, made me happy, made me sad and showed me life. That person is one of the most precious things in my life, but also keeps me in the past. There's a thing we are struggling with since more than a year and we are working on it, but not much has changed and it is hard, because I feel like we're stuck in the past, in our past. But although it sometimes makes me so sad I wanna cry, get into my bed and never get up again, it is also one of the few things that makes me happy. He is one of the few things that makes me laugh and smile and remember why life is beautiful.
And I used to believe it was awful.
So I can't just let the past, the people out of my past, pass. Because it still affects my present in such a strong way. And if I'd let it go, I wouldn't have anything left.

[Bonnie]

You're like a therapist!! Omg I love this channel so much💞

[clemb]

I feel like I can’t let go of the past because I did not find myself yet
I’m in a phase where I don’t know who I am.
So to be someone, I need to be the old me because if I choose not to, I’ll be no one
I might not like it but I’m telling myself that it’s better that way.
I’m holding on to the people that are hurting me because there were once a part of my life.
They are the people in all of my memories.
Good or bad.
So move on means kinda like forgetting and I’m not ready to do that. They forged me.
And because I can’t let go of the people judging and hurting me, now I have trust issues and eating disorders.
But I can’t let go of it and move on cause if I do, I’ll be no one.
I did not find myself yet.
I just don’t know who I am and who I’m suppose to be
❤️

[haibara]

I think you‘re my soulmate. I‘m on my way to let go of my old self and then I see this video. Thank u for this connection. Thank you for being you!

[lovefamily]

Just let go and believe u can do anything

[hectordelrio]

Your a beautiful person, God only wants the best for you!

[frederikevanderhelm]

I just miss how things were which makes me realise that I can't let go of the past, even when 'the' past is a very happy memory for me. I guess I'm not happy which how things are right now, that I'm starting to miss how things were

[noblemoe]

She’s so awesome I listen to her very day very morning and very night while am sleeping her voice is so impressive

[chrysa]

I'm trying to let go of the past.But that's my problem.I'm pushing myself to forget things I've done and things people have done to me.But I can't...I just can't.I'm thinking of it all the time. I can't

[chrysa]

"I can feel myself dying"




Wow this hit different every time I listen to it

[stephanieskinner]

Jay your videos are beautiful, every word comes from the heart. I just want u to know to keep on doing what your doing because it is helping alot of people in need.

[Cat-lbeo]

Leaving things behind and making yourself genuinely believe that the past isn’t the present is the hardest thing one can do. It’s hard. It’s so hard for anyone to let go and move on with the time. It’s so hard to not stay stuck inside of the time that has passed away. It’s so hard to accept it. But, it is what it is. And it hurts.

[jaystatefarm]

I lost a lot of good people in my family and that hurts me but I never stopped being the person I am I am who I am and I love myself it's okay if you're not perfect just be who you are you're always loved

[makenzie......]

I watched this because of a word someone told me, and I still carry that on my back trying to tell myself that it is not true, but it keeps coming back to the top and saying that it is true, and that is what everyone else feels about me. But this video helped me let it go a bit.

[simsdasims]

Jay, this is beautiful. You left me speechless. I've been following you for quite a while now and your videos always make me feel some kind of way. thanks for understanding me. Sending love

[davidfinney]

Jet pack Jay. I really like thank you x

[andyokus]

Beautiful ❤️! The Lord is using you!!!