How to Let Go of the Past

"Just let go" is something we hear often when it comes to letting go of painful things from our past. But it's not always so easy to just "let it go". Often, we need to understand why we're struggling to let go of the past, and in this talk I'll teach you the biggest thing that's keeping you stuck in hurt or pain from the past and what to do about it.

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#letgo #wellness #innerpeace

[JoseBibliotecaazul]

My name is Marc. I am 39 years old. I deal with severe depression, general anxiety, and post traumatic stress disorder. And an alcoholic. I have trouble with feelings. Life is tough and it hurts, but doing my best to keep my chin up.

[kathyn]

Removing the “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” from my thoughts and words about myself have helped me immensely. Pouring shame on ourself and others is not helpful or productive. I like your concept about having your past develop you instead of define you.

[chrishorbatt]

I literally have to pull myself out of some of this thinking and make myself realize I can't change what was done in the past

[elin_]

I'm dwelling a lot about my past traumas.. It's so hard to stop

[naseemm]

We can’t change the past, but we can change our lives today by making better decisions, rather than focusing on what we didn’t do correctly in the past. It’s a wonderful message and it’s 100% true

[cazmzy]

Free at last... Thanks for the definition of clean and cloudy pain
When you have been in the clutches of a narcissist you need to understand this information to create clear thinking about yourself.

[michaeldo]

Man my heart hurts everyday and I feel deep sadness in the pit of my stomach. It never stops. I’m always sad from losing the past and I can’t seem to look forward to the future because of how short life is. It’s like I’m stuck in this brief moment until death and can’t break free. 😢

[EsteBahia]

I have a history of ruminating on things surrounded by cloudy pain. My inner critic is quick to judge things, and of course I play the should've or only if game. This pattern has caused a great deal of suffering and stagnation.

[simonthompson]

Yes I am one of those people who cannot let go of the past very easily. I am co dependent & a love addict, I struggle massively not to attach to a toxic partner before I see who they really are. I’m still feeling the pain of a betrayal months after it took place. I would love to be able to conquer this Grieving a relationship is so painful, it takes me years. I want to fix this part of myself.

[sonjawilliams]

So far this is the best video that I’ve seen on “letting go”. I feel like I’ve been stuck in an ongoing fight with my thoughts. The feelings of rejection, sadness, resentment, and bitterness have stuck with me for years. Letting go is so hard. Forgiveness is my goal. ❤

[brianlindsay]

Thanks Julia. I have been trying to get past the suicide of my son for 2 years. Blame, blame, blame, those cloudy thoughts fill my day. I will use your advice to try and clear my mind.

[RoadRunnergarage]

The shame story gets me every time too!!

[lylahboling]

I wake up some times with my mind rolling at full blast, it's a new day but my mind is working on what I have said or done OR something someone else has done. I try to just keep going and think of positive things. I struggle DAILY... I listen to your advice and share it and listen again and again. All of this stuff shows up and still I have thoughts that run on my wheel inside this head of mine.

[zakiamwoma]

My past, right from childhood, is full of painful memories. It is a PTSD. I can say I am simply consumed. I listen to your videos and most of them touch on my past;boundary settings, estrangement, resentment, abuse, rejection, extreme gas

[clairelaskey]

Ruminating on it all is hard to stop yes. Especially for people who’ve been abused. Seeing a parent who abused me is difficult. See her less now. I learnt to guard my heard and not trust in 2 seconds. Big life lessons. Taught me set boundaries for others daily if need be.

[emb]

Thanks Kristina, I'm dealing with a fall out from my mother in law regarding a boundary I put in place with a family member in the workplace. The boundary was done calmly, with clarity, with HR advice and approval. I called someone on out their bullying, aggressive and intimidating behaviour. My MIL and I had a beautiful and very close relationship, I have now been severed from her life (no exaggeration!) She does not want to listen to the facts or the truth, and recently texted to say she won't be attending our wedding.. It's been hugely traumatic, stuck in a fog of cloudy negative thoughts, fighting feelings of shame and "if only". I do not regret addressing the work issue, but I did NOT think in a million years this would have been the cost of it. This video (and others of yours) will hopefully start to clear my mind and aid in my clarity in dealing with things. I used to be so confident and calm and kind, this whirlwind of kickback aggression, loss and judgement is so harsh(!) Thank you for your videos, they really do help x

[enriquecallender]

This information is so awsome, for some reason thinking of the past brings shame but i really shouldnt think of it that way or feel that way but should just look at it as lessons learned and keep moving foward in life.

[lttlod]

This is super helpful I'm going to have to watch this video a few times. The shame spiral is very real and difficult to get out of. I go straight to the cloudy thoughts and dig right in. It's so hard to trust myself and what I believe to be true about me. You mentioned playing the story over and over in your head and trying to change it....I should have done this or not done this or not said that or spoken up. Those get me good and are very difficult to break free from. For some reason my brain thinks I can go back in time and change words and behaviors lol. Being ok with what is and what transpired is the hardest part.

[melyndafrazer]

Julia, this is so helpful for me … I’m in cloudy pain, wishing I had done something different, and punishing myself for what I did, impossible for me to change what happened, shame, guilt, regret as bow I’m estranged from my two grown boys. If I punish myself it would it would fix it. I know that is not helpful nor realistic thinking. I have done clean pain sometimes and I do feel better, yet I revert so easily when I see my boys from a distance as I cannot approach them per their boundaries. Not clean and classy thoughts yet but it’s time to stay there more often. Thank you for this video… ❤️ I’m a shifter since about July 2021

[MrKaterman]

Watching on my desktop! Great to see Julia in all her glory on a beautiful 27" screen.