Letting Go Of Past Shame And Regret

Past mistake, failures, choices, circumstances may be haunting you right now. Things you desperately wish you could forget - but know you probably never will.

You can't change any of this. But the regrets you feel about things you've done or things that have happened to you can hold you back in an entirely different way.

I'm going to show you how you (inadvertently) turn your guilt into shame and how that effects your life.

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Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.

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#guilt #shame #regret #regrets

[cyndihauptman]

Guilt=I did something bad. Shame=I am bad

[LowV-ox]

Make sure you talk to someone who Is ACTUALLY compassionate… there are people who will actually use your vulnerability against you. Beware of those things. People need to EARN the right to your vulnerability. Otherwise it can do more harm than good… I wish you told it in the video

[alisonbyford]

Hey Dr Scott. I have done embarrassing things, betrayal things, things I handled badly, 50+ years of things I wish I hadn’t done. They haunt me. I dream about them so can’t forget no matter how much I try. Can you cover dreams? Please, if you can. ❤

[lorettasackett]

I cannot afford to be in therapy currently and my mother just passed away. I am an addict and I did some things that I am extremely ashamed of to my mother and my family and friends in my addiction. I just wanted to say thank you for these videos because they have been immensely helpful, as I want to change my life in honor of my mother. Thank you again and please continue the wonderful work that you are doing.

[alexiswinter]

Ain't spontaneous recall great. Calling up those bad memories with no prompting. My mind has a mind of its own.

[dbruce]

I grew up hearing, "You should be ashamed of yourself." I suffer guilt over everything. Nothing makes a difference anymore. Just what is.

[dawnjohnson]

I am ashamed of having emotional problems, STILL, at 69.

[liamlynch]

Another video of his that hits home to me. Every day my brain reminds me of my poor choices, shortcomings etc in the past. Every day it pulls me down. It shows me the faces of those I wronged, those bullies I cowered from, the situations I failed. Its torture. I think much of it is my brain’s way of keeping me alert to possible threats (even though the things all happened 15+ years ago).

[Vxruxxss]

It haunts me everyday. It makes me suicidal. I just hate myself so much

[francefradetjardineslacora]

John chapter 8 NIV A Woman Caught in Adultery

8 Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, 2 but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. 3 As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.

4 “Teacher, ” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”

6 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. 7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” 8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.

9 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. 10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

11 “No, Lord, ” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

[haideromran]

Please do more about toxic shame and humiliation 😔 it destroys my life for more than 10 years, ,
I don’t want it to destroy my family 😔😔
I’m in hell,
I don’t want to transfer it ..they don’t deserve it😔😔😔😔😔

[myfirstseven]

Prior to my ADHD dx, I felt much guilt and shame about past behaviours but I always had this idea that I could learn, grow, change... but now I see how so many of the things I hated about myself were connected to a physical disability that I cannot change. It IS part of who I am, which has made these feelings so much more intense and persistent.

[CyndieAmala]

The part about our behaviors not always aligning with our values really hit home. I never understood how I could do things (in the past) that literally made me hate myself, yet not always be able to stop it or change it either. I am ashamed of many things. This is very helpful!

[estherbaxter-osus]

This is so helpful. Because when one takes life seriously one cannot help but be critical of one‘s mistakes, ignorance and naivety - one is so ashamed of realizing that one could have done things so very much better. I find it hard to forgive myself (having been a perfectionist 😕) because I have so much more self awareness now and seem to have grown up far too late. All you say is so true! But I am not at the stage where I trust to share my shame with others - I don‘t believe yet in peoples‘s empathy, because people just love to judge and feel they are better and would NEVER have reacted in the same way…… that will make me feel so much worse. Thanks again, you are amazing and so clear!

[stevec]

"Cognitive distortion" - the only outcome a seven year old can have when faced with psychological trauma. Five steps of change - I have been in a protracted 'action' phase for over a decade! That is a reflection of the nearly 70 years of shame I have carried. There has been good progress...and the inner war has not yet been won by either 'side'. How do I keep at it?. I have learned that we can not know how close we really are to victory; and quitting is the capitulation to a failure mindset that never should have been mine in the first place. It's a good thing I have always had a robust sense of humor...it has literally been a lifesaver.

[Patricia-cpzg]

Hello friends. I'm a 25 year old female. I have spend my entire life creating a victim narrative, I have ruined relationships anf good jobs because of my temper and my bad attitude. I'm in a relationship now, with a good man. We have talked a lot and it helped me to do some self reflection. At some point in life it isn't my family or parent's guilt anymore. I have chosed and acted bad. It is on me. I want to change, but I can't deny I feel this terrible guilt and shame, as if the only solution would be to press a reset button and start living again from the start.

[elara]

Here is an ironic story, I did not do anything wrong, followed morals and still ended feeling guilt and shame. Why? My best friend said I should be most guiltfree person seeing how I have lived My life. But I feel guilty because of not choosing happiness Over morality. Guilty of being kind to a limit where people hurt and betrayed me. Of not being rich enough by hook or crook so as to protect myself from this evil world. For denying marriage for money. Those guys were offering financial stability but I thought it is wrong to use someone for money. Now I feel, I should have just used them for money as they felt it was OK. My goodness brought Me misery.

[christopherleubner]

Anyone else wathing this while eeling the sense of shame so bad that they are at the event horison of despair?

[rhonmc]

It was the ones I loved the most who haved shamed me for 15 years or more even though I fought them refusing to be shamed. However, everyone has their breaking point and they finally won. I didn't break, I shattered. It's now 1.5 years since I've seen them and I'm so worn down I am letting their view of me to become my reality. I have betrayed myself. Going to try real hard now to drag myself out of bed and force-feed myself. It's already past a normal person's lunch time. Why I still try is beyond understanding. The day is approaching fast when I give up entirely. If I was a dog, you'd have me put down to stop such suffering 😢

[jamesrubysoslut]

I am the reason my mother had a stroke because of my alcoholism. There’s nothing that can recover you from having a hand in ending a beloved family members life. Don’t start your videos saying you know peoples situations because there’s no way you possibly can fathom others lives.