How to Let Go of the Past - 3 Steps for Regret

Download the free worksheet for resolving regrets and letting go of the past here:

Check out the Online Course "How to Process your Emotions" here:
"Regret can be your worst enemy or your best friend; you get to decide which." Regrets are like a hammer, they can hurt you or you can use them to build the life you really care about. In this video, you’ll learn how to channel the emotional pain of regret into action to create the life you want.
So many people have a hard time dealing with "what ifs" and it can be really hard to let go of the past or get over the past. I get asked all the time how to deal with regrets. A lot of people, as they start to make progress on their anxiety or depression, they start to feel intense regret about the things they missed out on in the past. Or when people start to improve their relationship skills, they regret past mistakes.
Or missed opportunities, lost connections, or late starts.
And regret can really hurt, it’s a painful emotion. But here’s what’s important- You can learn how to transform regrets into energy. Let’s walk through how:
1. Regrets are in the Present moment, get very clear on what you specifically regret
2. Regrets show you what you really care about, they show you what you value- so clarify what you value.
3. Find how to take action in the present moment to act on that value.

You can learn how to let go of past regrets.

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

[sharathrao]

Pro tip: dont just watch video & feel good for a moment. Do the work, do the exercises she recommends. It really helps.

[bmay]

1) Get super clear about what the regret is
2) Get super clear about what you value
3) Take action in the present moment

[terryosowski]

No amount of regret can change the past and no amount of anxiety can change the future!!!! Done.

[arabiclanguagelessons]

Dear Madam
I am from remote village of Assam, a state of India. I am here to tell you that your videos helped me a lot to recognise and manage and overcome my prolong anxiety and depressional mindset. We low class indians do not have the social awareness about cognitive disillusiones or psychiatric problems. But my search and hope brought me to your channel and video by video a change began within me and now I much much better in thinking, feelings, and socializing. God almighty have given you everything, but please take my heartiest thanks for everything that your videos have given me. May god almighty fulfill all you dreams, hopes and give energy and time to continue your good work. My English is not good, so please excuse my mistakes. At last thank you thank you thank you...and love and regards. Take care, bye
MUSADIQUE AHMED

[launderedcotton]

Others don't feel better because you feel bad. They aren't thinking about you at all! Stewing on regret is self-punishment and cannot undo what's done.

[khaledhamadi]

Just yesterday I was searching for "Therapy in a Nutshell Regret". I can't believe the timing of this. Thank you so much! As someone with no access, to therapy you are literally saving my life.

[matthewtikka]

You can only do the very best with what you know in that moment. There is no benefit in judging yourself for something you had not learned yet.
I live by these words and this has brought me much peace.

[mexicanamerican]

I let everything go, thinking of death and seeing people i love pass away. I don’t give a shit about the past because soon I will join them and I feel I don’t have time to waste my time with regret. Now Every day is a new beginning .

[yowanehakuuu]

I'm deeply regretting the time I wasted and the opportunities I missed. I have adhd, ptsd and severe depression. I am wasting time today I know I'm going to regret this days as well. I wish I could remove this sickness like a coat.

[elainegoliszeski]

Im so tired of living in the past. It makes me so depressed.

[TysonASMR]

This channel has helped me so much more than the “therapist” I went to for a month and paid $150 per session

[Damaged_Otaku]

Thank you so much for making this video. I wasted my 20s being an internet troll in order to defend my favorite video game character’s honor who is constantly hated on. This character saved my life from childhood abuse and neglect. I wasted so much of my time arguing with people on the internet and I’m so ashamed and disgusted with myself. I’m now on a spiritual journey to figure out who I am and what to do with the rest of my life.

[Sashas-mom]

Wow I’m taking notes
I guess the only thing I can do is work on regret instead of being defeated by it in the present. Seriously this is a new concept for me. I actually never knew I could do anything about regret. This is wisdom. Thank you.

[wallaceribeiro]

Dealing with regret is something I've been working on for more than a year now. Thank you for this video.

[oneworldonehome]

_"Real forgiveness is a process of transforming something old into something new, something that was useless into something that is useful, something that is meaningless into something that is meaningful. Here your mistakes, instead of being a source of pain and inner discomfort for you, become a means of reaching other people, for everyone has made mistakes, and many people have made the same ones that you have."_

Living the Way of Knowledge, a free book by MV Summers.

[brianbrenton]

She is healing her own self. In that process, she is also helping a great many other people

[ChubbyUnicorn]

I have been torturing myself with regret lately and was lost about how to stop it. Thank you for the actionable steps.

[ISayNukem]

A while back, you set me on a path to healing, real healing, and ive been running with it since, building and learning! Thank you so much for doing this, and for being a healer. You are definitely in the right line of work!

[mlouw]

This was so timely. Thank you! I developed an eating disorder when I was sixteen and now I’m about to turn thirty-three. It’s not like I completely lost the past seventeen years to anxiety, food obsession etc. but I’ve lost a lot of that time, and it’s only got worse as the years pass. Even this year I stayed in my room while the family were downstairs celebrating Christmas… There are so many experiences I haven’t had, skills I haven’t developed, and character I haven’t built that it’s a bit overwhelming. What you say is a really good reminder and I so appreciate it 🙏💗😊

[evanmerrell]

I’m struggling with regret from the past I love what you are saying this is a positive and courageous way of looking forward and not being stuck in the past