Fixing Male Insecurities (AND KICKING OFF MENTAL HEALTH MAY)

Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Depression, Anxiety, ADHD, and Meditation, and now Trauma!

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[edwardharding]

"Lets talk about balding"*passes hand through luscious hair*

[Zoe-esve]

"If you live your life trying to avoid dissapointment, the best you can ever feel is relief. You can never feel accomplishment"

[anxav]

*Intro & Mental Health Awareness Month Overview:*
- Welcome & Introduction: 08:27
- Make It May Event Explanation: 10:33
- Male Mental Health Resource Pack: 14:28
- Importance of Reflection & Application: 17:45
- Addressing Content for Women: 19:45
- Universality of Insecurities: 22:49

- *Balding & Its Impact:* 23:58
- Reddit Post on Balding & Mental Health: 24:06
- Societal Attitudes & Lack of Support: 29:00
- Dr. K's Research & Hopeful Findings: 29:15
- Study on Baldness Stereotypes: 35:15
- Physical Attractiveness Stereotype (PAS): 35:24
- Inconsistent Effects of PAS on Bald Men: 35:59
- Stereotype Activation vs. Application: 38:25
- Defying Expectations & Individuating Information: 41:19
- Focusing on Controllable Factors: 44:50

- *Understanding & Overcoming Insecurity:* 01:07:13
- Fixing Problems vs. Overcoming Insecurity: 01:07:25
- The Role of Perception & Ego: 01:13:49
- Insecurities as Relative & Abstract: 01:14:43
- Example of "Shortness": 01:15:08
- Ego, Comparison & Acceptance: 01:19:28
- How Fixing Problems Can Reinforce Insecurity: 01:19:57
- The Power of the Mind & Self-Belief: 01:23:28
- Removing Comparison & Focusing on Self: 01:24:09
- Bridging the Gap & Accepting Reality: 01:24:24
- External Judgment & Internal Value: 01:26:24
- Motivation from Within vs. External Expectations: 01:28:32

- *Being Short & Its Challenges:* 01:42:08
- Reddit Post on Shortness & Insecurity: 01:42:28
- Societal Attitudes & Discrimination: 01:44:44
- Definitiveness of Beliefs & Closed-Mindedness: 01:45:56
- Cognitive Biases & Perception: 01:49:02
- The Power of Trying & Seeking Solutions: 01:57:12
- Individuating Information & Overcoming Stereotypes: 02:00:59
- Working on Controllable Aspects: 02:01:42

- *Meditation for Ego Dissolution & Connection:* 02:11:52
- Guided Meditation: 02:13:04
- Feeling Sensations Outside the Body: 02:26:51
- Somatosensory Cortex & Illusion: 02:27:23
- Exploring the Non-Physical Realm: 02:28:54
- Connecting with the Universe & Chilling: 02:33:43
- Research on Ego Dissolution & Mental Health: 02:31:01
- Exploring Warmth & Coolness: 02:35:46
- Different Meditation Experiences & Yin/Yang: 02:35:53
- Focusing on the Point of Origin: 02:36:17
- Meditation as Exploration & Experience: 02:37:18

- *Closing Remarks:* 02:39:58

[aster_limni]

I feel so out of place. I'm a 30yo virgin, I live with my parents, I have no job and very few friends (I had a best friend who died of cancer last year and now I can't make new connections).
But I'm a girl. And it feels like there's no community for me. Girls seems to deal with problems with promiscuity but I got to the point where I'm afraid of sex and I have to pretend I'm not to try and make female friends. And with potential male friends I'm always afraid of the direction the things will go.
I like you a lot Dr.K, please do more of these discussions about women. I believe there are a lot of them who like me are afraid to speak out

[DigitalAntz]

Meditation has been a transformative practice for many, and the Buddha’s response to the question “What have you gained from meditation?” is a powerful one. According to the quotes, the Buddha replied, “Nothing at all.”

However, he went on to say, “Let me tell you what I lost: Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Insecurity, Fear of Old, Age, and Death.” This quote highlights the idea that meditation is not about gaining something new, but rather about letting go of the things that hold us back.

By practicing meditation, the Buddha was able to release himself from the burdens of negative emotions and mental states, allowing him to experience a greater sense of peace and liberation. This quote suggests that the true gain from meditation is not something that can be measured or accumulated, but rather it is the freedom from the things that weigh us down.☮

[szczepanpogromca]

When I started balding my dad told me "you better find a girlfriend quickly cuz you're gonna be single when you're bald". Fuck him I had 0 girlfriends when I had hair, shaved my head and now I'm 2 years in my second relationship. You're gonna make it too balding fellows. We are so much more than our hair but we must learn to express that with courage and hope

[silentmayan]

In my early 20s my mom would point out my hair was thinning, jokingly. I didn't care that she was teasing me about it, but I didn't like that my hair was changing beyond my control. So late 2019 I shaved all my hair off. I had decided that if I was going to lose my hair I was gonna lose all of it, and it was going to be my choice. Honestly, I like it. I look better bald than I did with hair.

[ZeldaVStheworld]

I'm 25. Never went to college. 3 years clean off heroin. Single. I still live with my parents. No car. Wake up lonely and no idea what to do every day. I'm terrified to try anything.

[percy]

I’m 5 foot 3 and I actually have pretty good luck with girls. I have a nice face but I steer clear of dating apps bc I don’t want to surprise anybody. But, I’m a great guy, good conversationalist, caring, and a good leader/friend in my community. I have opportunities for dates every week! My height gets to me sometimes but I remind myself this is the life I have to master, I can’t live anyone else’s taller life. I dress well, go to the gym, smile, work on my career and crack jokes. There are girls who will give u guys a chance if they see that who you are is someone they’d want to be around :)

[dend]

1:02:00 Detachment
1:11:00 Nature of insecurities Real World vs The mind
1:20:00 you know how long i've been waiting for a definition for confidence? There it is folks
1:27:00 disappointments
1:28:00 Overcoming engrained insecurities
1:57:00 Trying better, most damaging thought, the immediate rejection of help
1:58:45 Cognitive Flexibility, fixedness of the mind is the problem. Do you use your understanding to shape the evidence, or do you use the evidence to shape your understanding?

[flynneves]

Dr. K saying to not take on other peoples disappointments because we all have enough of our own was super relatable, lmao

[nicholaskeenan]

Growing up, i went bald when i was 17 at the time i was convinced i couldn't be a proud man bald, but i was watching TNG at the time and saw captain Jean-Luc Picard, i saw a confident strong leader that was bald. It totally changed my life and became a strong confident leader. Being bald filters out alot of bad people i now think it as a super power.

[jackrice]

Dr.K you’ve legitimately changed my life. Ever since i saw you people with ADHD perform meditation better my life has radically improved and for the first time in years ive progressed in life for the better.

[Inspiredkey.poetry]

So i have a unique situation that i can't believe I'm going to discuss in a YT comment. When I was 22 (currently 25) developed Alopecia Universalis, meaning I lost ALL my hair over the course of like 4-5 months. I started puberty early, and have been able to grow facial, chest, body hair for most of my life, and my head hair was really thick. I was going through a really hard time emotionally so losing my hair really shattered the little confidence and self- identity I had

[NikPiermafrost]

Started heavy balding at 16 (screw gentics). Decided to just get rid of all my hair. The instant i did it it gave a massive boost to my self esteem and also started to have dates. Best decision of my life

[ThisIsQuarty]

In a weird way I wish people had made "more fun of me" as my hair thinned because I was completely oblivious to it. I remember once in my 20s, a woman I was having fun with commented on it and I shrugged it off/thought she was messing around. Years later my wife (then GF) bought some me caffeinated shampoo, I didn't connect the dots AT ALL. A few years ago I decided to shave it off, and my entire (very loving) family were like, "Oh - you finally did it?" What do y'all mean, "finally"? I think back to that earlier woman, have I been balding for 15 years and didn't know? Funny, if I don't think about it too much.

[FDB-]

Some things I learned as an obese teenager turned fit adult. (1.) People 100% treat you different when you’re better looking. And (2.) whatever you think is holding you back, someone you know has obtained what you want in life with that same setback. Thus, it’s not what you assume it is.

[ash_ithape]

Really owe you for this one mate.
Was a lot of work actually identifying my insecurities and I've been trying to cultivate the habit of practicing being aware of them. Basically relieved me from depression (or whatever it was, Inwas told "Subsyndromal depressive symptoms which could lead to MD"), and also grew a lot from self-reflecting after taking the information shared by Dr.K in this video (mostly the second half).

[sylviaodhner]

I think there's a huge factor you're not mentioning here when it comes to whether attractiveness is indeed an advantage. This may be more true for me because I'm a woman, but I'm very grateful that I've never been stereotypically attractive, because I don't have to swim through a sea of shallow attention in order to find genuine connections. For the most part, I trust that the people who gravitate towards me are the ones who are likely to accept me as I am for the rest of my life, and that feels really good for me.

[johnnieoperator]

Hard work trumps talent every time. I went bald at 21 and now I'm 38. It allowed me to work on myself and also made me realize that confidence trumps looks every time.

I also remember one of my friends telling me I wasn't bald. Even though I blatently am. I think they meant 'You don't act like a bald person'. Long story short, it wasn't my lack of hair that held me back. It was me consistent drinking self loathing and non-spirituality. Luckily for me I have conquered these things.

All the best peeps