How Trauma Wounds Manifest as Low Self-Esteem

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Even if you're good at acting confident, you may be giving off signs that you feel "less than" other people; just feeling badly about yourself can have the effect of pushing those good people away from you, and in turn makes it harder to heal. In this video I teach about "the Underdog effect" -- the unspoken signals we give that we have low self-esteem.

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[Slowgroovin]

Sociopaths/narcissists can often sense people with low self esteem or high empathy. These types of abusers often prey on non aggressive individuals. Beware.

[bluecat]

Our parents worked really wonders on us, didn't they? 😑 Sometimes I'm tired of constantly working on myself but it is necessary.

[s.rogers]

This is a spot-on analysis of how trauma can impact every aspect of your life. I was in a relationship with someone whose actions often triggered my CPTSD. My heart felt heavy and I felt unhappy at some point of everyday. I ended that relationship and regularly implemented the tips in your 'How to have a great day' video. Within a few weeks, I noticed an improvement in my mood and aura which, in turn, changed how the people in my life and even strangers responded to me. Thank you for your wonderful advice, you are helping me on my healing journey in so many ways.

[Iudicatio]

I met someone like this the other day and you are right, people can sense it from a mile away. But you can't fix it in yourself because you feel like it's correct and justified to feel this way about yourself. It's so hard sometimes.

[toscadonna]

When I was in elementary school, the kids at school would call me fat and say the other awful things my father would say to me. The 5th grade boys would attack me on the school bus when I was in kindergarten and beat me up like my father did. I used to wonder to myself, “How do they know? Why do they treat me the same way that I’m treated at home?” Humans are just like other animals—pecking order, high horse, alpha, etc. And if you’re abused at home, you’re gonna be abused for the rest of your life wherever you go.

[radlyn]

I don’t know why, but I started crying from the beginning to the end of this video. Whenever I watch your videos I feel like going out of therapy session.

[Roxy]

I've actually had a former friend tell me the group bully was the underdog because no one liked this bully because she was nasty to everyone. I got tired of the excuses she made for this woman and dumped the friend group. Only then could my husband and I start to heal from the pain inflicted by the bully. She was NO underdog! The saddest thing is the bully went on to train as a psychiatric nurse practitioner.

[AbramMatemana]

When I grew up I was a centre of ridicule by the people I trusted most, people very close to me. I was ridiculed in front of family members, friends and relatives. When tried to be me by doing things like unleashing my talents, it became worse. They expected less from me. I was young and vulnerable. Even when I do things in group, I would be singled out as the weakest link. This happened from a very young age into adulthood. Now I have severe low self esteem. No friends, no partner. I push people away cause I am scared they are going to hurt me. I prefer not to say anything during meetings cause they are gonna laugh at my views or say something hurting. I'm always overprotective of myself. When I am praised, I criticize myself, my clothes, everything about me to the point of feeling like running away. I am 52 years and still struggling with low self esteem

[klattalexis]

I have C-PTSD from ongoing childhood trauma & then entering a bad relationship because it felt normal. However, I always wondered how others knew & would take advantage of me as a stranger I began to wonder if we give off some kind of signal somehow. And I got my answer from a security guard & ex-con, who I hired as security for Halloween, night.

He asked me if anyone else in my rural neighborhood had been threatened by the neighbors of having their houses torched? I had to tell him that I was the only one as far as I knew. He told me he already knew this or assumed it. I asked him how he would know such a thing & he told me that he can smell injured people, most ex-cons can, and that we give off some kind of scent that bad guys can pick up on.

[jJust_NO_]

just love hormones so as to replace those tangled traumatic memories..

as a woman, being single, what cured me- because i dont like jumping into relationships just to get love- i adopted pets.. cats because of their serene nature....
in return, i developed a peaceful mind and able to reconnect and heal those dusturbing events i gathered in life.
and maybe because of oxytocin it produces from the bond i develop with my cats

[siennaprice]

I’m totally blind, I’m on the autism spectrum, and I have CPTSD. I used to think I was stupid, worthless, unlovable, a burden, unwanted, and a lot of other things. I used to think I didn’t belong on this earth. Fast forward to now, I rarely call myself stupid and all this other stuff. If I do hear myself call myself those names, I hear myself say, “wait a minute. Who said that?” I even didn’t like myself because I was blind and not like everybody else. But nowadays, I try to love myself every day even though I’m blind, because blindness won’t kill me, neither will autism or CPTSD. Now if I call myself any names, I call myself a silly goofball, or I make up silly funny names to call myself.

[MrAhuraMazda]

You're an example Carl Jung never taught a student who also wasn't in analysis. Every thing you're saying is deeply and painfully true, and it's not because you read about it. You lived it. You earned this knowledge the only way you can, the hard way.

[charlottewilliams]

A+, Anna! You're helping a lot of people make a big difference for themselves

[echase]

Both posture and voice can convey low self esteem and trauma history. Non verbal communication.

[rturney]

I was bullied at home and did it to others as a young person 😳 I regret it.

[tablescissors]

Could you do a video on recognizing good and bad friendships EARLY in the relationship?

[CJ-ukrt]

some of you need to realize that Anna needs to make a living as well. She has helped so many of us, I think she has a right to talk about her courses in these videos. She already gives us so much of advice FOR FREE. I also think she deserves to have paid promotions because she has one of the best and helpful channels on YT.

[julietvelarde]

This has been my WHOLE life. Thank you for this.

[dsb]

I started a sort of realtionship/situationship ( it was all just emotional, nothing physical) with someone and it brought up all my insecurities because I put him up on a pedestal, he had all these amazing qualities ( especially my physical insecurities showed up). He strung me along until I spoke out and I thought I had a chance because I really wanted to be with him, he made it seem hopeful, but he suddenly told me he only saw me as a friend when he felt I put pressure on him. I keep thinking that if I were more confident in myself I could have been seen as a partner by him.

[totizedger]

I have low self esteem and it really ruins my life and it’s hard to improve it. Something that i notice when around other people is that it’s hard for me to connect on a deeper level because my brain can’t see that there are people who truly likes me as a person, i’m very sensitive to the tone of people’s voices, if someone sounds stern or irritated i feel very uncomfortable even though it may not be aimed at me. I also feel sad because i feel that people don’t listen to me when i speak, so many times i have said something to just sit there waiting for someone to answer me which doesn’t happen it has even made me question if there is something wrong with my voice or that i’m not speaking clearly but that is simply not the case. I don’t want to spend time with friends anymore, i isolate myself more and more because i feel tired and a lack of motivation. I haven’t always been like this, i think it all started when a close friend began to pretend i’m a ghost and that i don’t exist just out of nowhere that really broke something in me, i now suspect strongly that my friend was a Psychopath or something because to just over a night decide to just ignore me totally like that is not normal imo