Social Anxiety: How To Make Eye Contact

SOCIAL ANXIETY | HOW TO MAKE EYE CONTACT // Making eye contact is excruciating for someone who suffers from Social Anxiety or Avoidant Personality Disorder. We feel exposed and self-conscious. But here's the thing, eye contact is absolutely necessary even for basic day to day interactions. Without it, you're handicapping yourself by telling the subconscious mind of other people that you're insecure and that you need them to take the lead, which often results in most people being rude to you, disregarding you, and pushing you to do things that you don't want to do. And often, they don't realize they're doing it at all. It was simply due to the signal we gave off.

So in this video, I show you the exact steps you can take to work your way up to making eye contact with people. Once you're able to glance into people's eyes when talking to them, you're going to notice how much more pleasant and easy everyday interactions are.

Try it out and let me know how it goes! I'm so excited for you, and I'm right there with you.

Best,
Asha

If you'd like to work together so you can overcome social anxiety and find your natural leadership, book a call with me here:

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DISCLAIMER: Any information or advice I give is purely based on my own experience and research. There is no guarantee as there are many variables that will impact your success. Everything stated should be taken as opinion.

Keywords:
social anxiety, anxiety, social phobia, social anxiety problems, social anxiety coach, introvert problems, low confidence, social anxiety disorder, how to overcome shyness, how to overcome social anxiety, aspergers, ADHD, autism, autistic, relationships, social skills, low confidence, anxiety attack, anxiety coach, anxiety resource, how to overcome anxiety, coping mechanisms, mental health awareness, socially anxious, socially nervous, how to make friends, agoraphobia, depression, loneliness, people skills, social skills, eye contact, relationship building, charisma, awkward, avoidant personality disorder, AvPD

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Talk Soon!
Asha Jacob

Music: Chill Lo-Fi Beats

[ncp]

Every time I have to be in a social situation, I start to feel inside my body like I am in danger, it's like I dont know what to say, even when I try to look in people's eye during conversations it fails and I wind up looking down in a weird way, I'm so frustrated.

[tigrispanthera]

i don’t understand why i’m like this. why do i have such severe social anxiety? why can’t i be normal😭 why do i have to look these videos up? why do i have to study and practice things that normal people can do?

update: i’m still the same… probably worse than ever.

[JJJ_JJ]

It’s especially complicated if you’re not attractive. Let’s be honest. Both judgement from others and personal insecurity are simultaneously even more intense. My issues with eye contact stem from a lifetime of severe cystic acne.

[TreBeL]

It also helps to practice relaxing your eyelids some in order to feel less anxious. It’s hard to be comfortable when your eyes are popping out their sockets

[humanbeing]

I never had these problems.. when I was a kid i was so confident i wasn’t scared anyone and I could talk to anyone be it kids of my age or elders from any profession in fact I was a chatter box..😅 I was normal till I was 20

Now I’m 25 and suffering from this problem since 3 years I don’t when and how this happened but all of a sudden one day I just couldn’t talk to anyone I was like where to look? Left eye or right eye or maybe bridge of the nose etc...a lot of thought went into it i was scared I stopped going to family functions stop meeting people the situation was so worse that if someone knocked on my door I couldn’t look at their faces I was acting weird I couldn’t purchase groceries I was like maybe I should wear goggles or something

But then I realised these things happen when we reach a certain stage in life.. and somethings are just not in our control like anxiety, panic attack depression and fear of being judged but we should not spend time overthinking about these things instead we should learn and train ourselves to deal with such problems so what I learnt is as humans our focus point is always one we cannot look 2 things at the same time for example A and B now if I’m looking at A and I want to look at B I have to shift my attention to see what B looks like.. so that applies in eye too..nobody can look at both the eyes at the same time we can only concentrate on one eye at a time and eyes are something that really build some sort of connection so when person is talking avoid looking at their cheeks, nose, forehead, lips etc just look at one eye and try to maintain eye contact as long as you can I hope this helps

[xcobyxzei]

My problem is I don’t know how to take breaks looking away when someone is talking to me. I can do it when I’m talking though

[versatilevk]

I totally understand the feeling when you look at the floor (in my case looking at the sky) till the time I overcame my fear of making a direct eye contact 😊

[solukhumbu]

from my experience, its simple as relaxation and tension. during eye contact and conversation, simply be aware of your vision, is it narrow like a tunnel vision? then u wanna soften it and have a wider gaze. eyelids and muscles around the eyes tensed? relax them. muscles around the body stiff ? relax them. check breath--shallow breath? breathe deep. when all of your body and its senses are relaxed it doesnt matter what the other person is saying or doing, u will be ready to face the situation.

[teeade]

Maybe if I wore glasses it would be easier. I feel naked when people look into my eyes.

[kylev]

With me, I’m just thinking my gaze is either too intimidating or makes the other person think I’m trying to be seductive. I just can’t get away from that feeling.

[DAK]

You’re so informative, and have such a warm personality. Thank you for your help

[randomstuff-yllk]

ive watched like 10 videos and this is the most helpful one :D

[iseetheendisnear]

I don’t know if this is relatable, but I avoid looking people in the eyes because I can’t get the thought out of my head that I’m acting aggressive. That I’m making them uncomfortable by being too interested. That I’m showing fear by caring about what they focus on with their gaze, and that it’s insulting for me to be afraid. It’s probably gonna take a while to destroy this belief with new, more accurate beliefs. But if I was able to realize somethings wrong, I think I can fix it if I keep working on it. You might be able to, too.

[Justjewels]

I hate that people are going through this, myself included

[rainyday]

Thank you for making this video, I'm gonna take these steps and improve my eye contact with people. I know its going to feel weird but at less i will be able to look at my family to show them that i love them and want them to know that I'm listening, coworkers with respect and to be able to change what I am today (TY)

[TimurTripp]

Well if eye contact is this important, no wonder people on the spectrum have so many problems.

[darkkilla]

I don’t know if it’s because of the acid I took back when I was younger but I feel like it messed me up I used to be able to keep eye contact and now I’m just filled up with this anxiety I feel low and scared to even talk to people it’s wierd but idk

[clementineslaughter]

Oh my God, I feel like you just explained my whole life story in just 1 video 😭 Jesus, help me! I will overcome all my fears and anxieties 🥳

[starsiap.]

This was a really helpful video 💕 thank you! Could you do a more in depth video on eye contact as the 'talker' and the 'listener'. I watched another social anxiety eye contact video and they said as the 'listener' you should maintain eye contact to show you're listening. But he didn't provide any tips or ways to do this easier for someone who is socially anxious x

[berthaantoinettamason]

Thank you for a great definition, that for social anxiety it is a fear of being exposed. This lets me know my eye contact problems are from autism now, not the social anxiety I had before, since I am fearful of too much information instead of revealing information.

Also, I did not know that brief eye contact with everyone at first sight was considered important. I didn't think if I wasn't talking to someone or they aren't talking to me, that strangers might want to be acknowledged too. (Really why do they want social approval for just existing, from every random stranger in the environment? Everyone knows we each exist, so why must we be mutually seen to prove this?) I thought eye contact with strangers was a mistake instead of having a purpose. So for them they see it as a chance to judge your worth themselves and it is a courtesy to let them do this. And if you deny them this opportunity, they dislike you already because you've denied them the choice to dislike you.